


Parasol

by Sidi



Series: Parasol and Extras [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Bullying, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff, He has a mullet and I will probably cave and have Lance point it out eventually, Hurt/Comfort, I promise there will be fluff, Is it really a Klance story if I don't mention his mullet?, Keith will pay, Lance in lingerie, Light Angst, M/M, Mature Content Later, Slow Burn, Trigger warnings at beginning of chapters, eventually, klance, self-hate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-17
Updated: 2017-05-11
Packaged: 2018-08-22 21:25:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 56,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8301676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sidi/pseuds/Sidi
Summary: Lance is awkward. Keith is mean. They eventually come to understand one another.





	1. Stumble

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to anyone who reads this. I have a stressful job and, for some reason, Voltron (and Klance) became my after work stress relief (seriously love the Voltron fanbase). I am not a great writer and not nearly as good as most on here, so forgive me. I was also torn between making this really depressing and serious or fluffy/smutty and ended up with something in-between. I have tons, and I mean tons, of little situations I want to write these two in so tags will likely change. Sorry if they are not terribly in character-it is my interpretation of what they might be like in an alternative universe. 
> 
> Warnings-there is a reference made to a homophobic slur (the actual word is not written out) and some bullying happens as well. Look at end notes for more disclaimers.

When his older brother threw a party, Lance liked to hide upstairs and wonder who he could blame for everything wrong in his life. Was it his older brother, who, despite both living away at college now, still threw parties when visiting home for the holidays? His stupid high school friends that still came to these parties? His parents for going on a vacation and leaving the house empty? Pidge, his best friend, but also the one who abandoned him tonight so he was at home instead of at a haunted house? Himself, for being awkward and hiding in his bedroom like Gollum rather than just going downstairs and mingling? God, for setting all these situations in motion? Or…

His thoughts are interrupted by someone fumbling with his doorknob. He sits up from his laying position on his bed, rigid, hoping that he had locked the door even though he never did. The door slowly swung open and, if Lance listened hard enough, he could hear the Friday the 13th music playing in some distant recess of his mind. His worst nightmare stood in the doorway, wearing a pair of khaki shorts and a stupid coral polo shirt that didn’t even go with his complexion. 

“Keith” Lance half-whispered, partially hoping that this was just a conjuring of his imagination. Lance loved his older brother, Anthony, very much. But this, this was unforgiveable. Anthony had grown up like every parents’ dream. Tall, but broad and strong. He could play any sport and was charming. He excelled at football, currently the quarterback of the nearby university. Lance was proud of his older brother, but having a popular brother had its drawbacks. These included having to listen to Anthony whine about having too many girls interested in him. It also included Keith. 

Unlike Anthony, Keith was smaller, more compact, built for speed. They made a great pair on the field, particularly in football. Keith was extraordinary on his feet. He was fast, aggressive, and smart. In the open field, he could outrun almost any defender. What he lacked in height he made up in speed, jumping ability, and instinct. 

Yet, Keith was not charismatic or nice like his brother. Oh no. He was actually quiet for one of the popular crowd. Brooding, is a word Lance had heard to describe him from the girls who followed him around. He walked around like caring about others was beneath him. Of course, that didn’t stop people from caring about him. Being gorgeous and athletic meant that little else mattered. 

Not that Lance thought he was gorgeous. 

The real issue wasn’t the attitude though. It was Lance. What his brother had received in the way of athleticism and charisma, Lance had gotten in awkwardness. Lance was an awkward person. He was very tall with legs and arms that made him seem like a baby giraffe for most of his teenage years. Very tall would be ok if you were coordinated, but sports were a pretty instant lost cause for him. He also won the genetic lottery of needing braces and having oily skin. But, all was not lost. Lance was cute even in his awkward stage. He was out of place in a small town, but he had friends, he was smart, people generally liked him, and he mostly flew under the radar. Pidge had been his best friend since childhood and patiently managed Lance’s insecurities and even liked his quirks. He had a great family and being known as Anthony’s younger brother helped. 

And then there was Keith. 

Keith couldn’t just let Lance fly under the radar. Anthony had first brought Keith over in the sixth grade and it had ended with Keith “accidentally” breaking one of Lance’s Lego sets and then smirking when Anthony wasn’t looking. From that moment on, it was like a shark with the scent of blood in the water. Nothing seemed to make Keith smile more than bullying Lance. Lance could not count how many times Keith had knocked his books out of his hands in the hallway. Does it ever get old? Lance thought one time as he kneeled to the ground and picked up his belongings again. Keith was particularly observant of Lance’s insecurities as well. He mocked his braces. He made fun of his height. He once asked if he could make fries from the grease on Lance’s face. Keith’s little football underlings had shrieked with laughter though Lance thought it was kind of gross that Keith would eat his face-grease fries. Keith had been a steady force in Lance’s life since that sixth-grade introduction-a dark force always just outside his periphery waiting to point out everything Lance hated about himself. 

Anthony, a year older than Keith and Lance, had a blind spot when it came to Keith. The two boys had met during a Summer football camp. Keith was Korean, but had moved to their sleepy American town from Ontario. Anthony told Lance later that Keith had seemed shy and uncomfortable and, knowing how it felt to be different, Anthony had taken him under his wing. He had introduced Keith and Lance hoping they would be friends. Looking back, Lance could not believe that a shy, uncomfortable Keith ever existed. Maybe his brother got Keith mixed up with someone else and this was all some big, cosmic misunderstanding. 

Now, Lance did consider himself lucky though. Though he worried about Keith’s stupid taunts, he watched enough anime to know how bullying could go down. Keith never got physical with him beyond occasionally knocking one of his books to the ground. Keith wasn’t even particularly good at bullying. His insults were embarrassing at times and no one else at their school joined in the bullying. Keith never did anything around Anthony. Lance had a great support group. He also had the knowledge that Keith was temporary. Lance would graduate soon and leave Keith and this small town in his life’s rear view mirror. Keith was just a fleeting irritation that ultimately would not matter. Lance knew he would just be a distant memory beyond (Lance secretly hoped) hearing about Keith burning out after high school. It wasn’t terrible to wish bad things on your #1 enemy, right? 

In the years between sixth grade and graduating high school before the sweet release of moving to college, Keith had only really hurt him once. 

Pidge played soccer and, like a good friend, Lance supported her while quietly wondering why he had to be surrounded by athletes. He was 16 and really just wanted to get home and curl up with some manga. The game had ended, he had given Pidge a high five and said hello to her parents and brother, all of whom were almost absurdly kind to Lance, and then walked under the bleachers. It was the fastest path to the parking lot. Staring at his phone, he almost hadn’t seen Keith standing under the bleachers, leaning against one of the pillars, head hanging and shoulders tense. He wore his letterman’s jacket, black with his last name in red lettering across the back. Keith had looked up and walked up to him with anger in his eyes that confused Lance. He had felt an unfamiliar tremor of fear spread across his body. Keith was usually an annoying bully, not a scary one. 

Keith’s normally beautiful purple-blue eyes (were those even a natural color? Lance had thought once) were black holes in his face, teeth bared like Lance had only seen on the field before. He had grabbed Lance by the front of his shirt and Lance had thought, here it comes. Keith is finally going to be that bully and give me a bloody nose. But, what happened next cut deeper than any punch could have. He uttered a single word, that word, the F word (not that one, but the other one). Then, he stalked off like nothing had happened, leaving Lance struggling to breathe. 

He hadn’t gone to school for the next two days. The word echoed in his head in Keith’s voice, low and dirty and ugly. On the third day, he had received a text from a phone number he had forgotten he had saved to his contacts years earlier while coordinating schedules with Anthony. 

“come back to school im bored” 

The text had twisted his stomach into knots all over again. Come back to school. It was Keith. Come back to school. I’m bored. Anger previously unknown to the easygoing Lance bubbled up. He had resigned himself to his fate to being Keith’s whipping boy until college. They had an equilibrium-Keith teased him, Lance took it, Keith got to have some fun, Lance didn’t get beaten up. Soon, Lance would be in college and none of this would matter. But, this. Come back to school. I’m bored. This made Lance angry. He had always thought that Keith was just kind of a dick in general and that he wasn’t the only one getting “Keithed.” But this was more personal. Why should Lance present himself to Keith just to be used for his amusement? Why did he deserve to be made fun of? Why did he have to like boys? It was a rare moment of self-doubt for Lance who had generally accepted himself by this point. He had felt tears well in his eyes again as he read the text over and over again with the word echoing in the back of his head. Come back to school. I’m bored.

And he had. What else could he do? Lance was great at swallowing his feelings and this was no different. When Keith had walked over to him, smiled, and stolen his Dr. Pepper, Lance’s face had remained stoic and unmoved. Nope. Just turn around and get back to work on Calculus homework. 

Lance struggles to control his emotions now though, years later, now in college and far away from those high school hallways, looking at the flushed man standing in his doorway. Lance had been in college now for over a year and his life is, for all intents and purposes, pretty good. He had filled out a bit. His braces were gone. He had a careful, extensive skin care routine that left him with skin that, if he can quote his dermatologist here, was glowing. Though his brother was considered the people person, Lance discovered that, once away from his predestined role in a small town, he could be funny too. Though always a bit awkward, he was charismatic too. And it felt good to talk to people who were more open-minded, to see them laugh with him and not at him. People enjoyed being around him and Lance enjoyed people. He had also found his people. People who also owned all of the Lord of the Rings and Hobbit movies. People who understood him when he said Kaneki did nothing wrong. 

Pidge had come with him, both interested in the engineering program which was nationally renowned at the university, and they had added to their ranks other friends like Hunk, the kind-hearted boy they met at the cafeteria and Rolo, the socially conscious boy who protested animal abuse and perhaps smoked a bit too much pot. Lance had his first kiss, simultaneously shy and desperate, on a porch outside a party. Things didn’t work out in the long run with that boy, but that was ok. There would be others or maybe just one other. Lance couldn’t decide if he wanted to date around or meet “the one” right now, but either way sounded like fun. Lance was starting to feel like a real boy, like he deserved happiness, that his interests were valid, that maybe he would meet someone special soon, that he was going to get an engineering degree and maybe design a cool plane of some sort, that he would…

“Naruto!” 

Keith spoke just once and all the progress Lance had made in life crumbles before his eyes. Oh. And that. Keith caught him in the living room one time watching Naruto and promptly made it his new nickname. He can’t remember the last time Keith had actually said his name. The name is mildly annoying at 13, embarrassing in high school, and then a source of amusement against Keith with Lance’s college friends. Seriously, Keith couldn’t even come up with a better nickname to mock him with? What kind of lame high school bully? Pidge had leaned over the cafeteria table when Lance was telling the story and added in that Keith had raised the average IQ of Canada just by leaving it. Their table of new college friends had laughed and Lance felt a perverse thrill at Keith being the butt of the joke for once. 

This support seems to matter very little as Lance watches the other boy leer around his room. Keith suddenly doubles over in laughter, snorting a bit, which should be obnoxious, but Lance hates the way Keith’s face lights up when he is laughing. It bordered on cute. 

“You still play with LEGOS” 

Sitting on Lance’s desk is a completed Millennium Falcon, a prized possession given the 100 dollar price tag and the fact that it had come from his grandparents. He wants to respond, to tell Keith to go fuck himself, but his newfound confidence is shot by this unexpected confrontation. He feels voiceless, tongue-tied in front of Keith. 

Keith walked into the room and closed the door behind him. The click of the door made Lance swallow hard. The click sounded loud, louder than a door shutting should be. 

“Why are you here” 

“Your brother invited me” 

“He didn’t invite you to my bedroom” 

“ah come on Naruto, I’m bored” 

Come back to school. I’m bored. Lance winced and got up, deciding to leave the room, possibly the house. There was a 24 hour Starbucks nearby and Lance could…

His thoughts are interrupted by Keith moving to his bookcases. There were really two types of books that Lance reads. School work-respectable textbooks and relevant other books. Then, embarrassing. His bookcases were mostly colorful manga volumes following his changing reading habits. Naruto and Bleach which turned into Full Metal Alchemist and D. Gray-man as Lance got older. Haikyuu!! and Ouran Host Club littered the bottom shelves. 

“Oh god, Naruto, you never stop being a loser do you” 

“Stop” Lance said, angry that Keith could not let this go even now that they are both adults.

“And what…what are you wearing?” Lance looks down at his floral t-shirt and white pants and sighs at the fact that he decided to wear this today. 

“Says the person wearing a coral polo shirt” he rebuts, finding his voice again even then it was a lame comeback. 

“And is that….nail polish?” His voice lifts at this question, staring at Lance’s dark red nails. Lance curses. Why red? Why not a more respectable or discreet color? 

He summons his courage. 

“I like it” He crosses his arms and stares the other boy down. 

Keith surprisingly shrugs and lets it go, continuing his slow walk around the room. Lance notices how pale he is, thinking he looks thinner than high school. 

“Can I borrow some socks?”

“What?” 

“Someone spilled beer on my feet. I need some socks” 

“No. No you can’t borrow socks. Stop” 

“It’s cold. Do you want me to die Naruto? Do you want me to get cold feet and die?” 

Keith had already began digging around in his drawer when suddenly he stopped. He froze for so long that Lance became concerned. He walked over to Keith and saw something that made him wish he was dead. Bright future? Coming into his own at college? General love of life and good friends? New Star Wars movie coming out soon? None of that mattered. Lance needed to be dead, right here, right now. 

Keith pulled out the unmistakable pretty, frilly lump of lingerie that Lance had hidden deep in his drawers and deep in his subconscious. 

“What….what…is this…” Keith’s face was unreadable, his voice low and harsh. Lance walked over to try to snatch it out of his hands. This seemed to shake Keith from his paralysis and he easily kept the lingerie out of Lance’s hands despite his long arms. 

“Ok, I refuse to believe you actually have a girlfriend who would wear something like this for you so….”

Lance desperately reached for the lingerie again, a bright red flush spreading across his entire body. The shorter, athletic boy easily ducked him, striding across the room to lean against the wall, looking cooler than his polo shirt should allow. 

“Do you jerk off in this? Are you that kind of pervert, Naruto?” 

“No! No….I, I…” Lance desperately seeks to come up with an excuse while simultaneously cutting his losses. Ok, he only sees Keith every few months now. In fact, it had been closer to a year since the last time he saw him. Ok, so maybe Keith’s bullying will take on a different tone now. Ok, at least Lance’s college life was still safe. Pidge was the only one with connections to Lance’s hometown and had stuck by him through far worse than some lingerie. She had actually bought him the very nail polish he is wearing and the rest of his friends had complimented it. 

Keith smirked. It was devastating. 

“Do you wear it” His voice had gone even lower, eyes staring through Lance into his very soul. 

“NO! I don’t, I never, I…” 

While he stutters, Keith unwinds the lingerie to get a better look at it. Lance hears him gasp and then go very still. It’s really a pretty tacky piece of lingerie, one step sexier than what you will see on Halloween. It is pale blue-green color, mostly see-through, with a white ruffle at the bottom. Little ribbons make their way up the sides of the faux-corset top where another white ruffle fluffs where the cleavage should be. It’s not the actual item that freezes Keith though. 

“You BOUGHT this? You really ended up buying this that day” Lance groans inwardly. Why did Keith remember that? 

Lance suddenly feels cornered. The door is shut. He would have to pass Keith to reach it. Keith, who is now staring at the lingerie with a strange look in his eyes. His smugness melted into excitement and then finally into something that verges on predatory. 

“Put it on” 

The request is made without preamble and Lance isn’t sure he heard him correctly. 

Keith closes the distance between them, standing in front of the taller boy and staring firmly even as Lance squirms and drops his eyes to the ground. 

“Put it on” 

Lance is almost giddy now, but not in the pleasant Christmas morning way. Whelp, things have officially gotten weird, he thinks, fighting the urge to laugh in Keith’s face. 

He still feels speechless, reeling under the sudden change in atmosphere. Keith was eerily calm and he couldn’t even see the movements of his breathing. Keith was too close. Keith was looking at him. 

“Lance”

Nothing could have made Lance snap to attention faster than hearing his name at that moment. Keith never called him by his actual name. It was always Naruto or some other lame insult. His name in the boy’s mouth now seemed both suggestive and commanding. Lance saw his own arm betray him, snaking out to grab the lingerie from Keith’s hands. 

Keith smirked again and then walked over to the desk where Lance’s now seemingly unimportant Millennium Falcon lay. He sat down in the desk chair, leaning back and folding his hands behind his head. 

“I’ll wait”


	2. Pivot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who read, gave kudos, comments, or anything else-I have 299 hits and that is about 299 more hits than I ever expected for any of my writing. So happy!  
> This look me a bit longer than I wanted mostly because there is a text message conversation which was actually more difficult to write than I expected. Why is it so hard to write a natural text message conversation? Some people do it so well and it seem so natural, ha ha (Like Call Me, Beep Me, another great fanfic if you don't already read it!).
> 
> Warnings: Mild Gendered/Sexist insult and some general language. About the same as first chapter.

 

There is a brief moment that Lance calculates the size of the bathroom window versus his shoulders, what he figures to be the widest part of his body. The height of the window may be more of an issue though. Lance is tall, but the window is pretty high making for an awkward angle of exit. Not to mention being on the second floor. Not that Lance hadn’t shimmied his way out of a second story room before, but he wasn’t sure this drop was doable.

It is really the lingerie’s fault that he is in this predicament.

It happened their last year of high school. He had gone with Pidge to the mall. They had been spending their typical Saturday wandering around with long stops at Hot Topic and Pica Pica. Lance had gone into Claire’s while Pidge patiently pretended like she wanted to be in there as well, listening to Lance talk about what his “sister” might like despite only having brothers. Then, they had been ready to leave for the movies when it caught Lance’s eye, shining like a beacon in the window of the Frederick’s that always seemed a bit too racy to exist in this mall. It was blue, and frilly, and pretty, and Lance liked it. Lance had turned to Pidge and said, hey, wouldn’t I look amazing in that? The laughter that followed was decidedly not Pidge’s though. To Lance’s horror, Keith had stood there, materialized out of the ether to torture him.

“Awwww, does Naruto want to be a pretty little princess? A pretty little slutty princess?” Lance tries to play it off as a joke, but he can’t quite get the casual tone that would sell it. There is an awkward moment of silence while both boys look at the lingerie, lit up in the window like a Christmas tree.

Then, “Oh yeah, you would look fucking hot in that” the other boy had said, slapping Lance on the back before walking away. He had left Lance standing alone, gripping his Claire’s bag with the words “you would look fucking hot in that” echoing in his head. Pidge had walked up a minute later. The mistake was simple-she had been distracted by a kiosk and stopped without thinking, letting Lance walk ahead alone. Lance no longer cared. Unthinking, Lance he had ripped out his wallet and shoved a few twenties in Pidge’s hand.

“What the fuck Lance….”

“Go buy the biggest size they have of that one” he jabs a finger at the blue lingerie.

“Uh, that is weird, I don’t want people thinking it’s for me….”

“Please Pidge” His facial expression is a mix between his patented puppy dog face and a strange look of desperation. Pidge sighed deeply and then walked into the store.

And then the rest is history, Lance thinks bitterly, hunched over in his own bathroom. Why did Keith have to remember that day? Why did he need socks?  He clutches the lingerie in his hands, too aware of the waiting boy on the other side of the door. Lance had taken his shirt off and unbuckled his pants, hands on the zipper before he catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror. He barely recognizes himself, eyes dark, hands shaking a bit, breathing a bit too hard for just taking his shirt off. There is a feeling in his chest that he recognizes and hates. There is also a sinking feeling in his stomach, or lower, a weight that he doesn’t quite or won’t recognize, something that made him think about Keith in bits and pieces-moist lips, shiny hair, hands and fingers that could catch any football and would probably feel so good holding and gripping and rubbing…

Jesus. Jesus, Lance. Fuck.

He forces himself to stop and think about realities. Keith hates him. Keith was doing this out of some idea of sadistic fun. To laugh at him. Lance remembers the moment under the bleachers and clutches the lingerie to his chest angrily. No.

He throws open the door, angry at himself and angry at the boy still sitting smugly in his desk chair.

“No, fuck you. Seriously fuck you, Keith. Get Out”

To punctuate his words, he throws the lingerie at his face, frustrated that the other boy has such good reflexes that he easily catches it.

It is probably the most direct he has ever been to Keith, who stands up suddenly and stares with wide eyes. Lance feels some bubbles of pride rise in his chest. Keith pauses for a moment as several different emotions play across his face. He stares at Lance openly, not quite at his face though, but lower. It is then that Lance realizes that he is still disheveled, shirt discarded in the bathroom, pants still undone.

Keith walks toward him.

“You know, you actually have broader shoulders than I would have thought. And some muscle tone. How? I mean, you could barely handle kickball in PE”

“That doesn’t mean I don’t want to be healthy” It is a lie, mostly. Lance visits the gym enough with Pidge to stay, at the very least, in “would look ok naked just in case I ever get laid” territory when it comes to his body. He trudges through the same routine given to him by one of the trainers at the gym while Pidge works on agility for soccer.

Lance backs away from the advancing Keith, hitting the wall next to the bathroom. Keith reaches out his hand, paralyzing Lance by lightly resting it on his abdomen, just above his stomach. It isn’t a rough touch. Lance is surprised by how gentle his hand feels.

“But, man, you are small here. You have a small…a dainty waist. And your ribs kinda show” Keith pauses on the words, still staring at Lance’s exposed body. His hand begins to slide downward slowly over Lance’s bronze skin. Lance shudders as the hand drifts gently down to his navel, his soft skin trembling underneath the hand. Lance finally smacks the hand away.

“Get OUT” He cannot stop his voice from going higher than he would have liked and louder than he would have wanted. His skin burns where Keith has touched and he balls his fist, ready to wipe that smirk off Keith’s face. Keith steps closer, cornering the trembling Lance, both knowing who would win if a fight really broke out.  

“Think about that. Do you _really_ want me to go right now” His voice is husky. Lance is silent, unable to comprehend what Keith is currently implying, wondering if he should hit the other boy and take his chances or…

“Keeeeeeith. KEITH. KEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIITH” They both turn, the moment broken and a suddenly welcome female voice rang out in the hallway.

“HE IS IN HERE” Lance screams, ready to get Keith away from him.

The door pops open a moment later and there stands Nyma who looks, even to Lance’s eyes, beautiful. Around Junior year, Keith had started dating Nyma, the head cheerleader, in some ways making them both walking stereotypes. Nyma was nice to everyone, including Lance, but always in a way that felt forced, like a politician’s wife who knows she is being watched. She is tall, has long blonde hair, and Lance has to admit they look amazing together. Lance feels a prick of the old jealousy he used to feel watching them walk through the hallways.

It wasn’t just that they were a really hot, popular couple. It is that they genuinely seemed to love each other. Keith seemed more relaxed around her than almost anyone else except maybe Anthony. Nyma’s smile only seemed genuine when it was directed at Keith. They were the type of couple that you could tell had inside jokes, leaning close to one another at lunch giggling over their lunches in comfortable companionship.  Why should Keith get to be an asshole and also have a beautiful partner in life who he loves and loves him back, Lance thought to himself even today.

There is something unreadable on her face as she looks from Keith to Lance, both huddled in the corner, Lance shirtless and pants still, quite unfortunately, unbuttoned.

“Uhhhhh” Nyma says

“I was just saying hi to Naruto. We haven’t seen him since high school, you know” Keith provides. “Look, he even still plays with Legos”

“There is nothing wrong with Legos! Hi Chance” Nyma offers a practiced smile.

Keith snorts.

“Its Lance…” he tries to correct, but Nyma is already dragging Keith out by the hand, talking excitedly about some sort of game involving ping pong. As she drags Keith out the door, he turns and looks directly at Lance, sticking out his tongue at him.

The room feels empty and, for a second, Lance cannot be sure any of that actually happened. Who is to say he didn’t fall asleep and dream it or accidentally ingest hallucinatory drugs or something.

He locks his door just to be sure and then practically dives for his phone

**[Message Sent: 1:30am]**

Lance: Pidge. Oh god Pidge. Please don’t be asleep.

Pidge: What’s up?

Lance: I saw Keith. Im freaking out.  

Pidge: Keith? Kogane?

Lance: No, the other Keith. Yes, that Keith.  

Pidge: I don’t know! What happened.

Lance: He tried to make me put on lingerie and then he touched my chest

Pidge: Okay…That sounds fake, but ok.

Lance: Don’t meme me right now Pdge I am freaking!

Pidge: K, what happened exactly?

Lance: I was in my room

Lance: He came in, kinda drunk

Lance: He made fun of me. Then found some of my lingerie.

Lance: Then he tried to make me put it on :( he was scary

Pidge: Srsly Lance? Are you ok? Is he still there? Do you need me to come over?

Lance: No, its fine

Pidge: Are you sure?

Lance: he’s gone now

Pidge: Im going to kick his fucking ass. I should have a long time ago. 

Lance: Pidge you weigh like, two pounds he would crush you

Pidge: Ill get someone else to kick his fucking ass

Lance: we don’t know anyone who could kick his ass. Like, I don’t think our entire group could, combined

Pidge: he is only one dude and we have Hunk

Lance: Hunk would cry if he ever hit someone.

Lance: do you remember the time three McEachern players tried to jump Keith after a game and he destroyed them all? It took two guys to drag him off the one. He isn’t just one dude Pidge he is the devil.

Pidge: Im scrappy though. Small, but scrappy.

Lance: True, you would be like that chimpanzee, going for the eyes and genitals.

Pidge: Can we add your bro?

Lance: oh, ya, that pretty much doubles our combat power immediately. And with Hunk as our tank…

Pidge: can you imagine your bro and keith? They could be our damage dealers, Hunk, the tank, maybe I could take defense, and then you could just sit back and massage our shoulders afterward.

Lance: yeah, like, jesus, we would be unstoppable.

Pidge: …

Pidge: Wait, we are supposed to be kicking Keith’s ass not making him our offense

Pidge: back on track. Are you safe now?

Lance: I locked the door to my room

Pidge: Good.

Pidge: Lance, do you hear how fucked up that sounds though? You feel like you have to lock yourself in your room in your own house? For safety reasons?  

Lance: …

Lance: I don’t think he would have actually hurt me

Pidge: Tell your bro Lance

Lance: No

Pidge: Yes. Your bro will take your side, you know he will  

Lance: Its complicated

Lance: Pidge please. Can we talk about it later? Im tired. 

Pidge: Are you sure you don’t want me to come over?

Pidge: You can come here too. My parents won’t mind.

Lance: Its fine. Im fine. Im going back to the apartment tomorrow anyway. When u coming back?

Pidge: Sunday. Pizza and project runway when I get there?  

Lance: **heart** Night Pidge.

Pidge: Night

Pidge: Call me if you need anything

 

 ************

 

_Lance is wearing the lingerie._

_He is no longer in his room, but in the sky, light flooding down around him, covering him in celestial sunshine. The beautiful light glitters around him and he rolls his body against the bed, the velvety sheets rubbing back against him. Everything feels so good and Lance wants more._

_The material of the lingerie is suddenly more luxurious, like satin against his skin, streaming and rippling around him. The gossamer fabric lengthens to cover him, billowing and flowing in fleeting touches. He is on a bed that he doesn’t recognize, but it’s more like a cloud, sublime light shimmering down on him as he sprawls across it, running his hands up and down his body. A symphony of sweet, melodious music surrounds him._

_His skin is soft and aching to be touched._

_Suddenly strong hands are on him, steadying his body, touching everywhere that Lance craves._

_Lance leans his head back and moans as his hands reach for the unknown person. He bares his neck to the person as they lean down to him, sucking gently. Lance’s body opens up to the person, pulling them closer and closer, bringing that heat into the softness that envelopes Lance._

_He wants, he wants so much._

_Warmth grows between the two bodies that are becoming one, bodies melting into one another as their energies mingle. Lance begs, please, please, as he tries to pull the body closer to him, gripping the back of the person’s head, freezing_

_As he realizes_

_That the person_

_Has_

_A mullet._

 

Lance jerks up in bed. He groans at the bright light now coming through his bedroom window. He tries to pretend that he doesn’t know who owns the mullet of his wet dreams. He runs to the shower before doing anything else, putting the water on extra hot to wash away the dirty feeling lingering on his skin since last night.

Toweling himself off, he walks into his bedroom again throwing on a shirt and grabbing his phone. He then realizes he has three texts.

 

**[Message Received 9:30am]**

Pidge: [Image]

He snorted at the Pepe meme and knew Pidge was trying to cheer him up without going full protective mom-mode on him.

Lance: lololol

Lance: bout to leave now for the apartment now

 

**[Message Received 10:00am]**

Hunk: you coming home today?? We are doing a movie marathon tonight wanna come?

Lance: Yasssssssssssssss ill text you when I am in

 

**[Message Received 10:15am]**

Unknown: Did you jerk off thinking about me last night?

 

Later, Lance is amazed that he didn’t break his phone given the force in which he throws it to the ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know, man, for some reason this seemed like the only way to incorporate The Mullet. Now I can move on and its a real Klance fiction? Or does he need to point it out to actual Keith?  
> Also, the meme Pidge sent Lance  
> http://66.media.tumblr.com/76f231a66be4291bbe9734b0f9fb2e9b/tumblr_odvjbmoknh1taz7iuo1_1280.jpg
> 
> Also, I will learn how to do actual links on here one day.


	3. Burden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Self-indulgent Halloween Chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have already started the next chapter which will have more character development since I desperately need to explain a bit more about what Lance is thinking and feeling (it will feature Pidge too!) but I couldn't help myself from having a Halloween-themed chapter. I love Halloween!
> 
> I also posted a Klance vampire fic called Bloodsucker that was originally a part of this one. It has non-con so make sure to read all the tags and notes if you check it out. 
> 
> Thanks for any and all support. It means a lot! :)

 

Lance is mesmerized by the bright pink sign sitting above a small tent made of purple fabric. The sign read: “Psychic Delilah” and, in smaller print, “Get Your Fortune Told!”

“I want to get my fortune told” he declares.

“We don’t have enough time” Anthony responds, standing beside him impatiently. He is right. There is a long line coiling around the building leading up to the haunted house. It closes at midnight and it is already close to 10.

“Yes we do…it will only take a second” Lance whines.

“Lance, you can get your fortune told some other time”  

“But I want tooooo” He drags out the “o” sound for just a bit too long and even finds himself annoying at this moment.  

“Psychic DELILAH? That’s stupid. What type of psychic is named DELILAH?” A third voice enters the conversation.  

“Shut up, Keith” Lance hisses at the unwelcome interjection from the unwelcome presence that night.  

It was Halloween weekend, one of Lance’s favorite times of the year. In addition to parties, multiple costumes, and watching every horror film ever created, he and his brother always went to a haunted house together. It was a tradition stretching back to the day that, as children, they had wandered into a neighbor’s homemade haunted house in the garage. Ok, sure, it was only Mr. Delgado in a sheet jumping out from some cheaply constructed props, but they were hooked. Every year, they tried a new haunted house. Over the years, plenty of people had participated. Pidge had gone before. Friends from high school. They had gotten their parents to go to a haunted corn maze one year. Anthony’s high school girlfriend who Lance considered a friend had gone for two years in a row. It wasn’t an exclusive brotherly tradition by any means. That still doesn’t mean that Keith was a welcome surprise, sitting in Anthony’s used silver Acura when they came to pick him up.

“What is he doing here,” Lance had said, horrified.

Anthony laughed, like Lance was joking.

“His plans got cancelled with Nyma so he decided to tag along.”

Keith had leaned over toward the window with a smirk on his face-“He tells me you are a big baby in haunted houses.”

“You’re a big baby” He says back, careful not to make eye contact with Keith. He had never responded to Keith’s text message from last week and, as far as he is concerned, he would be okay never seeing Keith again. He knew that Keith was friends with Anthony, but it wasn’t high school anymore. Surely, they would drift apart eventually, right? That is how it works unless you are him and Pidge.

Apparently not, Lance thinks as he sulks in the backseat, listening to Anthony and Keith chat casually about a sports psychology class they are both taking. He is verging on what Anthony affectionately calls one of his “tantrums” when he sees Psychic Delilah. He knows they are cutting it fairly close on time if they want to safely get through the actual haunted house. He realizes that it is “fake and stupid” in Keith’s terms. But, something draws him to that tent.

He resigns himself though. He can hear the screams of the people in the haunted house and starts to feel the excitement and fear tingling in his stomach. In truth, he is a big baby when it comes to haunted houses, but that doesn’t make him any less excited to visit one. He likes being scared.

So they stand in line together and make stilted conversation. It isn’t the first time they have hung out together, the three of them. Anthony goes a long way to make conversation smooth in any situation. He energetically tells stories and gets Keith and Lance to chime in. Keith seems normal or even friendly when he is around Anthony. It is only without Anthony’s presence that he becomes a troll.  However, tonight is awkward even with the presence of his brother trying his hardest to make conversation. Every time Lance so much as looks at Keith, he remembers his hand on his body, his dream with the person who was totally not Keith, Keith’s voice as he said his name, his actual name.

Keith seems to be, for lack of a better word, cranky too and eventually pulls out his phone. Lance takes his out as well when he hears his text alert go off.

**[Message Received: 10/28/2016 9:59pm]**

Anthony: He seems like he is in a bad mood. Do you think he fought with Nyma?

Lance: don’t know don’t care there is still time to send him back home

Anthony: Lol u two are funny. Maybe we can cheer him up later, crappy Waffle House food maybe?

Lance: I’d rather die

Anthony: Lmao

Anthony is basically a sweet summer child of naivety. He naturally assumes that Lance and Keith are friends and all of the teasing, nicknames, and bickering are just how they express that. He doesn’t see it as that different from how Lance and Pidge pick on each another sometimes, missing the fact that Lance and Pidge actually like each other. Lance respects this about his brother and he even likes to think he is the same way with being able to see the good in people and situations. However, Lance has more reason than Anthony to mistrust those around him. This includes Keith.

They finally reach the front of the line and Lance is faced with a dilemma. He would prefer to be in the middle in this situation. That would protect his back and front. However, he really doesn’t want Keith anywhere near his front or back. They naturally settle into a position that has Keith and Anthony almost side-by-side with Lance behind Anthony. He knows at some point he will shamelessly hold his brother’s hand for protection and then pretend he didn’t as soon as they are out no matter how much Anthony affectionately teases him.

They are not even out of the first room before Lance finds his brother’s hand, laying another arm around his waist and semi-draping himself across his back. It makes him feel like a child again, in a good way, to have his older brother protecting him. He shamelessly leans on his brother as Anthony leads them through a room of dead bodies, disorientating tunnels that appeared to be moving, and what the internet called the “Asylum” section of the haunted house, complete with creepy doctors covered in blood chasing them. Lance may or may not be screaming like a small child during this, but he does know that his earlier annoyance at Keith being with them disappears as he focuses on just having fun with his brother.

They finally stumble out of the last darkened hallway while being chased by a ghoul with a chainsaw. Lance is laughing now, letting go of Anthony’s hand, but keeping his arm draped around his waist for the time being.

It was at this moment that Lance saw his brother walk up to him, laughing, and asking if he had a good time. His brother. The brother he was currently still holding.

Lance turns his head to the side, half-hoping he really was holding onto something supernatural or dead rather than the only other option.  Those violet eyes and infuriating smile come into view, dashing Lance’s hopes. He shoves Keith as hard as he can and crosses his arms, horrified and wondering if he could go one encounter with Keith without humiliating himself.

Keith was laughing hard at this point.

“Goddamn, you screamed like someone knifed you when that clown popped out”

“Fuck you”

“Lance, what would mom say” Anthony says, laughing mildly.  

“I don’t care!”

Keith and Anthony are having fun, but the mood is soured again for Lance. Just before exiting for the parking lot, Keith excuses himself to the restroom, leaving Anthony and Lance to chat about their favorite parts of the house. Anthony patiently listens to how Lance totally didn’t scream at that clown.

It isn’t long before Keith walks back up to them, looking down at the ground angrily.

“So, I went to the bathroom, but like, I had to walk to the other side of the parking lot for that and it took me awhile to find the bathroom, and…”

He pauses.

“Annnnnd?” Anthony asks.

“Well, so, it’s like, on the way, I had to pass by all the shops. And, uh, one of them was that Psychic. Well, I thought maybe it would be fun to get my fortune told, I don’t know why.”

Lance immediately feels some anger bubbling in his stomach. Did Keith not just make fun of Lance for this earlier in the evening? Lance was the one who really wanted to do it too.  

“Oh that’s rich, didn’t you say that stuff was stupid?” Lance cannot help but sneer.

“Uh, well, yes, and it is stupid. Stupid and fake and seriously “Delilah”?  So, like, after I bought the ticket I decided I didn’t want it anymore.”

There is a moment of silence.

“So, here” he says as he shoves a ticket into Lance’s hand.

Lance gapes at him.

“Yeah, I guess we do have enough time for someone to get their fortune told. Let’s go!” Anthony fills the silence, smiling and seemingly unaware that what had just happened was really fucking weird. Lance wishes for once that Anthony was a bit more like Pidge.

“You bought me a ticket?”

“I didn’t buy YOU a ticket. I bought MYSELF a ticket and then decided I didn’t want it anymore.” The black-haired boy crosses his arms and glares.  

“This works out great! Didn’t you want to have your fortune told?” Anthony is all smiles and Lance struggles to maintain a neutral facial expression.

Lance contemplates ripping the ticket up and throwing it in Keith’s face when he catches his brother’s happy eyes and resigns himself.

“I’ll pay you back.”

“It was like, five dollars, its fine.”

“I’m paying back every cent.”

“Just buy me coffee sometime.”

Lance is halfway into Psychic Delilah’s tent before he realized that meant Keith thought they would hang out again in a situation planned enough to have coffee as a part of it.

 

**********

 

Psychic Delilah was every bit as tacky as Lance hoped she would be. He is pretty sure she is wearing a wig, a wild red one with streaks of white in it. She is wearing what looks like a Party City fortuneteller costume with a rip-off red velvet dress. She has pretty green eyes though that seem kind. She makes him sit and then looks into a crystal ball that Lance is pretty sure is not actually crystal.   

“Oh, this is interesting” She begins, rubbing her hands lightly over the ball.

“Am I going to be rich???”

“Never rich, always comfortable. But you don’t really care about money, do you?”

“Then what do I care about?”

“Acceptance”

“This isn’t really a fortune. You could say anyone my age wants that”

“Well, that isn’t what you really care about either though. For the record, you have accepted yourself so whether other people do or not will matter less and less as time goes by.”

“Do I ever get laid?”

Lance knows he is being annoying. He does not care. Something about the way the green eyes looked at him was making him uneasy.

“You make jokes to hide your discomfort, but I think you know what we really need to talk about in here.”

He waits, biting back a smartass comment.

“We need to talk about what is tied around your finger.” With these words, she lifts her hand into the air and wiggles her pinky finger.

Reflexively, he look down, half expecting her to have planted something that he could see.

“I don’t get it.”

“Your soul is bonded to someone. This is very rare-we do not see it often.”

“Oh my god. Seriously. You probably use that exact same line with every customer.”

She laughs.

“You can believe what you want. It’s not going to change your fate.”

“So, what? I have a soulmate. A rare soulmate. We will meet and live happily ever after?”

“A couple of corrections. First, you have already met them. Second, when did I say happily ever after? Your soul can be tied to someone else’s in many ways. It can be romantic, but it can also be platonic. It can be good or it can be bad. Everyone here always thinks having a “soulmate,” as you call it, is a good thing. But it can be an albatross around your neck. The soul that drags you down, that consumes you. The person who binds you, the person who suffocates you”

Lance leans backward as his uneasy feeling magnifies.

“Oh, ha ha, this is part of the haunted house right?”

“You can think that. That still won’t change what’s tied around your finger.”

“Oooooookay, I think I have gotten my five dollars worth” He stands, ready to leave, before turning back and looking at the older lady.

“So, if this person, if…if they are a negative force. Like, my…albatross. Can I get rid of them?”

“Sure. It’s really quite an easy process.”

“You just have to kill them.”

 

**********

 

Lance hurries over to where Keith and Anthony stand, arguing about the last Falcons game. They stop when he approaches and ask him how it was. In truth, Lance is unnerved. His blood feels like ice in his veins and he wants to go home.

But he finds himself telling them that it was fun, but obviously fake. Not that this is a complete lie. It is fake. Psychic Delilah probably gets paid minimum wage to creep people out while they waited to go in the Haunted House. Lance cannot imagine that bad soulmates actually exist. Sometimes he isn’t even sure he believes soulmates exist at all.   

Back in his apartment, he takes a long shower before crawling into bed. His text alert goes off and he picks up his phone.

**[Message Received: 10/21/2016 10:15am]**

Unknown: Did you jerk off thinking about me last night?

 

**[Message Received: 10/28/2016 1:15am]**

Unknown: Do you need someone to tuck you in? You were pretty terrified of the obviously fake, not scary, cheap shit at that house

 

Lance has decided that he is not going to feed the evil. He never answered the old text and he won’t answer the new one either. He places his phone beside his pillow and tries not to think. As he turns off the light, he stares up at the ceiling in the dark, trying to ignore an oily feeling swirling around in the pit of his stomach. One thought plagues him as he slips into sleep. 

 

Is Keith my albatross?  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Go back to Party City where you belong!
> 
> Also, I am putting dates in the text messages now since that will be a plot point later on. I hope that isn't confusing and I realize most text messages won't have dates. 
> 
> By the way, Psychic Delilah is real and works around where I live. The name always amused me-seriously, what type of psychic is named Delilah???


	4. Lull

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance totally doesn't care about Keith and totally doesn't think about him all the time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been a bit depressed and very busy lately so this chapter came out less fun than I thought it would. I almost deleted it, but then I think some of it is important for understanding Lance's POV.  
> Warnings-there are some homophobic/sexist situations and language in here, told in flashback mostly and not graphic. If you want more details, then please let me know. This will also be one of the last chapters (or maybe the last?) where Lance is the one in pain or remembering pain. Keith's time is coming.  
> Thanks for anyone who reads, leaves kudos, comments, bookmarks, subscribes, literally anything. I am enjoying writing this so much and any type of support, even clicking on the link to this story, makes me happy! 
> 
> I had a great idea for the next chapter and I am excited about it and already have a draft. However, it may take awhile to post because there will be at least 5 or 6 people having a conversation and I am realizing it is difficult to script dialogue with a lot of people interjecting regularly, ha ha. I also forgot that my characters aren't 21 yet so I had to go back and delete beer mentions, lol.

“Ok, so let me get this straight.  You groped Keith in a haunted house, then he was nice to you and a psychic told you to kill him?”

“I guess that about covers it…Fuck my life I hate snipers,” Lance replies.  

Lance and Pidge were sitting on the floor of his apartment, passing the controller back and forth. No matter how distressed Lance was about whatever was happening with Keith, their conversation ebbed and flowed around the three minute rounds of the game. Yes, Lance was having a crisis about Keith, but this tower wasn’t going to make it across the Kelp Dome by itself.

“I didn’t grope him though. I thought it was my brother.”

“That really doesn’t make it better, Lance.”

“I didn’t _grope_ anyone…Why the fuck is no one on the tower?”

“Did you want to grope someone?”

Lance pauses briefly, conveniently needing to respawn anyway.

“What?”

“Did you want to grope Keith?”

Lance almost looks at Pidge, but now he was being chased by a roller.

“Pidge…fuck you roller…why would you even say that?”

“I mean, Keith is attractive if you like men.”

“Yes, but I don’t see….Where is my teaaaaaaam?”

“You think Keith is hot.”    

“He is hot,” Lance responds without thinking. He loses the round a second later and sets the remote aside rather than handing it to Pidge.

“Yes Pidge, Keith is really, really damned hot. I don’t get why that matters. He is an asshole. A hot asshole. A hot straight asshole.”

“Are you sure he is straight?”

“Yes, yes I am. Have you seen him with Nyma? Or, other girls before she came along?”

“But like, that doesn’t always matter. He could be confused, or bisexual or…”

“Or he could be a hot straight asshole.”

“It just seems like he is…flirting with you a little? Like, lately. In a really fucked up way.”  

Lance finally hands her the remote again while barking with laughter.

“Is this elementary school again where you show people you like them by being cruel to them? This, this isn’t flirting.”

“You are right and I don’t mean most of what he has done. You know I think Keith has been a total asshole to you. But I mean, it sounds like he asked you on a coffee date. And he bought you shit. And he offered to tuck you into bed…”  

Lance throws himself backwards and puts his hands behind his head, looking up at the ceiling as he heard the familiar gameplay music start up with a new round.

“No. It’s hard to explain, but sometimes straight guys are weird around gay guys. And Keith is a jock. That makes it even worse.”

Lance discovered quickly that there were three main negative ways that people respond to him being gay. Being in the South, the religious response was pretty frequent. Some reacted with disgust and openly told him he was going to hell. These were actually the minority, Lance had found. He realizes early in life that it is easier to be a bigot from the safety of an anonymous screen name or other places that didn’t include being face-to-face with someone in the group you hate.

He got more people subtly preaching to him, casually inviting him to Church or letting him know that God still loves him. The final type of religious reaction would act like it didn’t phrase them at all, but then whisper behind his back and pray for his soul at Church.

The last type probably bothered him the most. The first type were unworthy of his attention. The second, well, Lance genuinely thought some of them at least had good intentions. The last type? Lance didn’t like not knowing where he stood with people. He didn’t like the thought that someone would be nice to his face and then shake their heads and condemn him behind his back. It didn’t go unnoticed that some kids suddenly couldn’t come to his birthday parties once it became an open secret that he was gay. These were some of the same families who still smiled at him to his face.

Beyond the religious reaction, there were other types of reactions, such as girls wanting to be his best friend. Lance knew this annoyed a lot of gay men and he can see why, but part of him didn’t hate it. Secretly, he did feel like he had more in common with some of these girls than the guys in his school. Of course, friendships based on the fact that he was the gay best friend never lasted too long or went too deep. Ultimately, Pidge was his anchor with other friends floating in and out of his life.

He smiles warmly at her from the floor as he watches her get a quad kill. 

The third type of response came from straight guys.  Straight guys always made Lance the most nervous. While most of them had been cool, the bad responses to him being gay, frankly, scared him more than the other types of bad responses. Some seemed aggressively afraid that he would try to hit on them or have sex with them. Lance wasn’t quite sure how to explain to them that it isn’t like being gay means you want to bang every guy in existence. Like, as straight men, did they want to bang every girl in existence? Did they not have types? Or, that even if he did want to bang one of them that he would take a rejection with grace and understanding. It is not like he even wants a straight guy. Lance eventually wants a boyfriend, one who would be with him in every meaning of the word.

The final, what he would call subcategory of bad response from men, is when straight guys started acting weird around him. By weird, Lance means suddenly treating him like they would treat a woman. This could just be small stuff like being gentler around him or making sure to hold open doors that maybe they hadn’t before. Lance supposes his growing interest in clothes usually designated for women encourages these reactions. The most extreme examples of this type of reaction led to some of the worst moments of Lance’s life, though. Sometimes, they treated him like a slut. Lance doesn’t like that word, at least not how most people use it. But he can’t think of another way to explain how some guys treat him. Like, he was somehow sexually available to them.

“Lance, are you ok?” Pidge asks. The round was over and Lance realized that he had zoned out, going to a place in his mind that he didn’t quite want to go on a Friday night.

“I am fine.” He responds.  

_The gentle sounds of waves crashing on the sand. The sand is cool beneath his bare feet. The house his family is staying in is already a speck as he walks across the beach. Lance had always loved the ocean._

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I am fine.”

_He was wearing an oversized beach cover-up over a pair of shorts. His mother had bought the cover-up for him. He was 16 and starting to embrace who he was more and more. It is dark and peaceful so Lance walks, enjoying the quiet and calming beauty of the ocean. The air is crisp and cool, caressing his face as he moves to walk in the water a bit. He relishes in the gently lapping water slipping around his ankles. He passes a group of guys and one smirks at him before asking for his name. He gives it and tries to walk around them. He is stopped by a rough hand on his shoulder._

“Lance…”

“Its fine.”

_Why don’t you suck my dick? The hand hurt as he tried to wiggle away from it. No, he says. Come on, I know your type. You love dick don’t you?_

I am fine.

_Blind terror before a strong voice behind him. Hey, what is going on? He recognizes Anthony’s voice and quivers with happiness. He had never been so happy to hear his brother’s voice. The pack disperses quickly, claiming innocence.  Anthony’s gentle hands on his shoulder. Are you ok? I am fine, Lance had said._

I am fine.

Anthony’s concerned eyes. A hug. _I am fine._ Its fine. I am fine.

Pidge is suddenly beside him, not touching, but lying beside him, the game forgotten.

“Lance, you are pretty,” she says and boops his nose.

He snaps back to the present and laughs while swatting her hand away.

He casually picks up Pidge’s hand and they lay together, looking at the ceiling fan go round and round.

“Sometimes straight guys act weird around gay guys” he picks back up. Was Keith like the guy at the beach? But, Lance didn’t see the same coldness, the same scary darkness in Keith.  

“I think Keith is an asshole.” He continues. “I think he thinks it is funny that I am….me. Like, not just the gay thing, but that I like to wear girl’s clothing sometimes. I think it is amusing for him to watch me….or to make me uncomfortable.”

“Maybe part of him even feels bad for it which is why he is nice to me sometimes. Maybe he knows better or he knows my brother will kick his ass if he ever finds out. And you know he loves Anthony like a brother.”

“It just sucks because when we are around my brother, Keith is actually kinda cool. And hot. But around me…”

He trails off.

“You know that his actions have nothing to do with you, right? Nothing you did or do warrants his assholery.”  

“I know.”

“I still think you should tell your brother. He basically assaulted you in your room”

“I know. It is complicated though. I mean, he has calmed down a lot lately anyway except for the drunk night.”   

Pidge opens her mouth again, but they are interrupted by the door to his apartment swinging open suddenly. Hunk barges in, mouth open and ready to speak, but stopping when he sees them on the ground holding hands.

“Uh did I interrupt something?”

“Pidge called me pretty. She’s in love with me.” Lance says, fluttering his eyelashes in an exaggerated manner.  

“Ew, gross” Pidge says, swatting at his shoulder before standing up and stretching.

“You wound me” he says loudly, clutching at his chest.

Hunk laughs and joins them on the ground.

“So, do you think I can play ranked tonight?”

There is a brief silence while Lance and Pidge make eye contact. Inexperienced players aren’t allowed to play ranked since it would hurt their inkling’s overall ranking. Hunk had been improving, but wasn’t quite ranked ready yet.

“Oh god guys, it’s fine, just stick me with the kids” Hunk finally breaks the silence.  

“Hey! Turf war is not just for kids! It gets very competitive!” Pidge argues back.

She hands him the remote after flipping through some weapons that are easier for beginners.

Lance pats Hunk on the shoulder before getting up to go to the kitchen to get chips for everyone. His mind is still halfway with the black-haired boy, his maybe albatross. In all honesty, he doesn’t know why he isn’t angrier at Keith, angry enough at least to tell his brother. Was he embarrassed? Did he think it was somewhat his fault? Was he pathetic enough to enjoy attention from someone really hot even if they were an asshole?

There might be some truth in all three, especially when he was younger, but now he just felt like he had moved beyond it. Why should Keith earn any of his energy at this point? Why should he care if an adult wanted to make fun of him for playing with Legos? They were in college now and Keith still wanted to tease him, really? It was a bit pathetic. Lance suspected that Keith would be one of those people who never quite left high school, who would always be looking back at his peak with nostalgia tinged with sadness.

Though a part of Lance did still care, another part of him felt like he had outgrown Keith and his bullshit.

Lance grabs the bag of chips and runs back to the living room. Hunk is just finishing a round, ranking a strong 3rd out of his team.

“Awesome” Lance claps for him. “Hey…Hey. Guys. How does a squid go to battle?”

“Lance, no….” Pidge groans already.

“Well Armed!!!”

He takes a bow while Pidge shakes her head and Hunk laughs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The game they are playing is Splatoon. I tried to keep the dialogue general enough that you wouldn't need to know the game to understand or at least understand that they are frustrated, lol. These are actual things I yell out while playing the game by the way and you can see what a round of tower control looks like here-
> 
> (Oh and also, you play as squids...sort of, in Splatoon. Hence Lance's bad joke not being totally random, lol)  
> 
> [Splatoon Tower Control](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OdLyLtnVlwI)
> 
> (Also, I learned how to make links!!)


	5. Simmer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance and Pidge turn the tables on Keith with mixed results

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter got long, wow.

It is a Friday night and Lance is in a good mood. He has finished all of his schoolwork except for final exams next week, he made an A on his current events paper, his outfit is cute, and Ariana Grande is currently on his playlist. He is in the bathroom, putting the finishing touches on his hair and debating whether to add just a little bit of eyeliner. There is only one black mark on his existence right now and it is currently sitting on his couch, scrolling through a phone wearing an outfit that looked straight out of some preppy catalog except for the hideous red jacket that Lance cannot believe Nyma lets him keep.

Lance has had a calm, mostly Keith-less month since Halloween. The one exception is the rivalry football game at the end of November. Lance does not care much about rivalries, but people made a big deal out of the fact that he goes to what is considered the nearby “nerd” university, usually meant for people who are going to get various engineering degrees, while his brother goes to the nearby rival university, known as a party school that happens to have a great football team. His entire family had bought “A House Divided” shirts to wear on these occasions, though Lance was not terribly divided. He loves his university, but ultimately his brother is actually playing in the game. And he always wants his brother to win.

But, he put on the shirt along with his other family. This year, his two older brothers, Dylan and Caleb had been able to join. The entire Alvarez family had huddled in the bleachers, cheering both teams on. Anthony’s team had won and, overall, it had been a good night, full of fun and cheer until the brief meeting afterward. Keith had tagged along with Anthony and had the nerve to hug his parents and brothers. Lance hides behind his mom, pretending to be distracted to try to duck any celebratory hugs with the dark-haired boy, but found himself squeezed in a hug anyway, awkwardly keeping his arms to his sides and avoiding making eye contact.

Things took a turn for the worse when Keith mentions that he signed up for a volunteer program to coach some little kids in football in December leading up to a practice game with some of the college players playing. Lance was only half-paying attention, preferring to listen to Anthony’s recap of the game, when he heard it.

“Oh, Mrs. Alvarez, I am looking forward to working with the kids and, did you know? It is located near where Lance lives so he has agreed to show me around town!”

Lance’s head snapped over in time to see his mom’s eyes sparkle with happiness. She had touched Keith’s arm while saying,

“Oh, that is wonderful! You will have fun and Lance has made so many friends you will be able to meet”

She turned and smiled at Lance and it took everything in him not to shove Keith away from his mom, or out Keith as a liar, which would have been warranted but awkward. So he remained silent and is only a little snappy when his mom brings it up again later.  

Lance considers ditching Keith pretty much every day that passes after that, but considering lying to his mom doesn’t feel right. So, he sucks it up, opens the door when Keith knocks, and now he is angrily waiting for Pidge who is equally angry at the situation. They wanted to have fun tonight and fun and Keith did not belong in the same sentence. 

He walks into the living room and stands silently, willing Pidge to arrive.

“You look nice,” Keith says, breaking the silence.

Lance huffs.

“Why are you doing this?”

“Doing what?”

“Butting into my life. It isn’t like we were ever friends.”

“Hey, we were buddies! And I am bored. You are entertaining.”

It is the wrong thing to say. Lance grits his teeth as the memory of the old text comes to mind from high school.

  _come back to school im bored_

“You know, people don’t exist in this world just to entertain you”

Keith manages to look a bit ashamed.

“I didn’t mean it like that. I mean….well…we are both bored sometimes so we can entertain each other.”

Pidge, mercifully, knocks at this moment and then enters the apartment. She grimaces at the sight of Keith, now standing near the couch.

“Pidge, hello, long time no see,” Keith says hesitantly.

She only nods at him briefly before hugging Lance. They find themselves in her car moments later, Pidge and Lance endlessly talking while Keith sits in the back, silently looking at his phone. Neither Pidge nor Lance feel any need to include him.

When they arrive at Voltron’s, Hunk and Rolo are waiting for them. Their party is much smaller for this night compared to most nights. Since it is around the holidays and also finals week, many people are traveling or studying. Some nights, they would have two tables worth of people gathering to play trivia. The smaller party is, of course, fine. The only annoyance is Keith, since now it would be more difficult to ignore his presence.  

The small group says their hellos while Keith stands a few steps behind.

“Hey, who is this?” Hunk says, noticing the pale boy hovering behind Lance.

“Oh. That’s Keith. Keith, Hunk, Rolo,” Lance bites out. Keith smiles and shakes their hands before settling himself in-between Lance and Hunk. Pidge sits on the other side of Lance, tapping her fingers on the table and shooting side glances at Lance.

They barely have time to order (Keith, a cheeseburger, Pidge and Rolo, veggie burgers, Hunk orders chicken tenders while Lance thinks they have the best fish and chips he has ever had) before they hear the beginning announcements for trivia. 

_Welcome to Voltron’s Trivia!  Tonight is our Pop Culture Night! We will have Five Rounds and then a final question at the end to be the tiebreaker if necessary. Please write your answers on the sheet of paper and bring them to the front once the final question has been asked. Winners get a free appetizer!_

“Alright guys, let’s win this appetizer,” Lance says as he picks up his pencil, the designated writer for the team. They had been close before. They had finished second. But they had never known the taste of sweet, sweet free appetizer from Voltron’s.

_Who won album of the year at the 2016 Grammy Awards?_

Everyone at the table sighs and Lance doesn’t even have to confirm the answer before writing it down.

“Taylor Swift, though it totally should have gone to Kendrick Lamar. Great music and important socially and culturally,” Lance whispers so only his table can hear.

“I dunno man, Alabama Shakes had a great cd,” Rolo offers.

“You guys, The Weeknd made the best cd, The Hills alone trumps anything else on the table,” Pidge says.

“Am I the only one who loves Taylor Swift?” Hunk whispers. 

“I do too!” Keith finally inserts himself into the discussion. Hunk bro fists him and Lance wants to puke.

“Oh please, let me hear you name just one of her songs!” Lance snorts at him.  

They are interrupted by the next question.

_Which entertainer released a multimedia project titled Lemonade this year?_

“Who released Lemonade, really?” Lance huffs as he takes the sheet up to the front. The trivia game always started with easy ones before getting progressively more difficult.

When he returns, he notices that Pidge is looking at him with a sly glint in her eyes. She elbows him gently and leans over to whisper in his ear while Keith has his head turned listening to Hunk talk about his girlfriend, Shay.

_We will begin Round 2 while tallying results._

_Who is Wade Wilson?_

“Why don’t we let Keith answer this one! He hasn’t answered any tonight!” Pidge jumps in before anyone can respond. She has the fake polite tone in her voice that Lance knows so well and so dearly loves.

“Uh, I have no idea who Wade Wilson is,” Keith admits.  

“Dude, how can you not know who Wade Wilson is?” Rolo says.  

“Is it even a real person? You guys are nerds.” Keith takes an angry bite of his cheeseburger.  

Hunk laughs good-naturedly at this while Lance and Pidge sit silently, waiting. 

_Which movie has won the most Oscars? There may be more than one movie to list here._

“Keith?” Pidge and Lance say practically at the same time.  

“Oh come on, who would actually know that?” he responds.

“One has to be _Titanic_ ,” Hunk says.

“Keith, do you want to guess one?” Lance prods.  

“I don’t know, _The Godfather_?” Keith finally offers.  

“Oh my god no.” Lance rolls his eyes.

“That is a good guess though,” Rolo speaks up, eyeing Keith and Pidge. Hunk nods.  

Lance writes down _Titanic, Ben Hur, and Lord of the Rings_.

_Which recent virus that caused a panic mostly in South America is transmitted by mosquitos?_

Lance and Pidge stare expectantly at Keith, who angrily bites at his cheeseburger again.

“Some of these are kind of tough, guys…” Hunk says

“Oh come on, anyone who has been awake in the last few months should know this!” Lance says.  

“Then again, what can you expect from a football player?” Pidge rubs her glasses and Lance imagines they shine just a bit, like an anime villain.  

“Hey, come on, I have a good GPA,” Keith defends himself.  

“Oh sure, and I am sure your schedule is very, very rigorous. Do they have you in three PE courses and Sports Psychology?” Pidge says.

“Well, it’s not like he could have a rigorous schedule anyway. He has to save all the brain cells he can for throwing a football,” Lance says while looking at Pidge.  

“You know good and well I don’t throw the ball, Lance,” Keith notes.  

“Right, he only _catches_ the ball,” Lance responds.  

“Yeah, he basically sits there and someone else throws him the ball, right into his hands,” Pidge says.   

“Hey guys, football is pretty hard, it’s a lot of work”

Keith throws a grateful look at Hunk for this, quite deciding he likes the guy.

“Yes, it is a lot of hard work to stand there and let a ball be thrown to you,” Lance cannot stop himself now. Rolo puts down his veggie burger and is looking between the three of them with an awkward smile on his face.

“Anthony is the one throwing the ball. Keith, you should be grateful he is so good that he makes you look good,” Lance continues.  

Lance waits for another angry or defensive response.

“Yeah he is amazing I…we are lucky to have him,” Keith finally says, suddenly very interested in choosing the correct fry from his plate.  

There is a moment of silence where Lance almost feels bad.

Almost.  

_A new tablet of which ancient epic was recently found in Iraq?_

“Keith, do you know what an epic is?”

“Keith, do you know where Iraq is?”

“Keith, do you know what a tablet it?”

“Keith, do you know what ancient means?”

“You guys are assholes.” Keith interrupts Pidge and Lance’s fun.   

Hunk laughs uncomfortably, wondering if he missed something.

_Name all five members of One Direction_

“Oh come on, only girls can do that and Pidge doesn’t count,” Keith states.   

“What is that supposed to mean,” she says in return, leaning on the table with one arm while shooting daggers at him.  

“I didn’t mean it…I just meant you are like, smart and not a girly girl,” Keith sputters.

“God, you sound dumb. Take a gender studies class,” Pidge snickers.  

There is a moment of silence while Lance scratches down the names.

“What type of music do you like, Keith?” Hunk asks, desperate to fill the silence.  

“I like RHCP type stuff”

“Oh dude so do I!”

“Me too!”

Lance and Pidge seethe while Keith, Rolo, and Hunk have a bonding moment discussing whether new or old RHCP was better.  

_Which country recently had an earthquake that might indicate that which fault line is unzipping?_

Lance writes New Zealand and Alcove Fault.

“No. That is wrong,” Keith says after looking at the sheet.  

“What?”

“It is Alpine Fault.”

“What? No it isn’t.”

“It is.”

“How would you know? You can barely speak in full sentences, ball catcher,” Lance hisses.  

There is a moment of silence before the entire group breaks into laughter over the unintended meaning.

It almost feels comfortable.  

“No, but seriously it is Alpine. Do you want the fucking appetizer or not?” Keith refocuses them once the laughter has died down.  

“But, seriously, why should we believe you?” Pidge leans over the table a bit to look at him.

“I don’t know pop culture stuff, but I take a Geology class and it is interesting,” Keith explains.  

“What, why?” Lance asks.  

“It’s a science requirement….” Keith sighs loudly. “It is considered the easiest way to fulfill that requirement.”

Lance and Pidge snort with laughter.

“Rocks are fun,” Rolo offers, waving a fry at them all.

“I like rocks,” Keith responds, grateful for any support. 

“God dammit Keith, they’re minerals,” Lance cries out.

Everyone dies laughing while Keith looks confused.

“Whatever” he responds as he begins pulling out his phone again.

“It is a show reference,” Rolo explains. “Breaking Bad.”

“I like rocks too,” Hunk offers

“Oh god, it’s like watching me try to make conversation with my 3 year old niece,” Pidge says as she jabs Lance again with her elbow.

Lance hears his phone text message alert go off.

**[Message Received: 12/2/2016 8:47pm]**

Hunk: Is there any reason you guys are being total dicks to this guy?

Lance: It is Keith

Hunk: Ok?

Lance: KEITH

Hunk: Uh, I know the dude’s name

Lance: KEITH KEITH. THAT KEITH. THE KEITH.

Hunk: I have no idea what that is supposed to mean

Lance: The one who bullied me in high school

Hunk: Oh. That Keith

Lance: Yes, THE Keith

Hunk: Gotcha

During this exchange, Lance changes Alcove to Alpine.

The game continues in much of the same manner with Keith looking at his phone, eventually ignoring the prodding from Pidge and Lance completely.

_How wide was the target area the Rebel pilots had to fire at when attacking the Death Star?_

Lance proudly answers and their group is left in a tie with a nearby group.

“Oh god, it’s happening again. We are going to get second place,” Lance whimpers.

“Come on, maybe the tie breaker will be easy,” Pidge says.

_The tie breaker question is which team has won the most Super Bowls and give the year and final score of the last one they won_

There is a long moment of silence followed by a scream so loud that the surrounding tables quiet down and look. The seemingly checked out Keith jumps up from his seat and snatches the paper and pencil from Lance’s shocked hands.

“In your faces, bet you guys don’t know this one, hell yeah” Keith screams accompanied with a pelvic thrust or two basically in Lance’s face.

In a moment, all of Lance’s vindictiveness disappears. He turns away from Pidge, covering his face slightly under the guise of taking a drink.

_Oh shit that was cute._

Lance chases the thought away as soon as he has it. He also pretends like Keith’s pelvic thrusts won’t be something he thinks about later tonight in bed.

Keith triumphantly returns after taking the sheet to the trivia moderator. The bitterness of earlier in the night disappears under the thrill of the win. A free appetizer has never tasted so good.

Afterward, Hunk and Rolo, who had walked, ask for a ride home due to the rapidly dropping temperature that night. Rolo is allowed the front seat since he is the tallest there, even taller than Lance. Pidge drove.

“Get in the middle, mullet,” Lance snaps.

“No. No way. And who has a mullet?” Keith responds.

“You do. And you are the shortest, shorty. That means you get the middle,” Lance says.

“You are the skinniest, bean pole. You get the middle,” Keith retorts.  

“Pidge, can we just leave him here?” Lance whines.

“Well, I wouldn’t be opposed…” Pidge tightens her hands on the steering wheel.

“Dudes, the middle is great, Love the middle, Compromise.” Rolo turns around to look at them as he speaks.  

Lance bitterly finds himself wedged in the middle a moment later. Pidge and Rolo are discussing a protest happening on campus, Hunk is texting Shay, and Lance finds himself awkwardly pressed against Keith.

Just pretend it isn’t happening. Talk to Pidge and Rolo. Tease Hunk about Shay. Before Lance can enact his plan to pretend his thigh isn’t currently pressed against Keith’s, he feels fingers grasping his wrist. He turns to Keith who is looking downward, face blank. He wraps his thumb and index finger around Lance’s wrist, lightly pulling his hand upward.

“What are you doing?” Lance asks.  

“Your wrists are so delicate” Keith responds, like what he is doing is completely natural.  

“Dude, that is weird,” Lance says

“You are weird.” Keith keeps his hand on Lance’s wrist.

“What are you, five?” Lance’s skin is on fire.   

“Says the person who can name all the One Direction members,” Keith smiles at him.   

Lance realizes that Keith hasn’t let go of his wrist yet. Against his brown skin, Keith’s hand looks all the paler. His hands are surprisingly big given Keith’s compact build elsewhere.

_You know the bed feels warmer_

Lance finally jerks his hand away.

“Oh my god, Pidge, this used to be our song!” He yells.  

_Sleeping here alone_

“Dude, I don’t like pop music, but Kelly is like, the one exception,” Rolo says

_You know I dream in color_

“Shay and I saw her in concert one time it was amazing!” Hunk exclaims.

_And do the things I want_

At this point, four out of the five members in the group begin to sing along, some not entirely knowing the words, but all having fun.  

_You think you got the best of me_

_Think you've had the last laugh_

_Bet you think that everything good is gone_

Keith scowls and turns to look at the very excited Lance.

_Think you left me broken down_

_Think that I'd come running back_

_Baby you don't know me, cause you're dead wrong_

Lance sings the loudest, leaning forward in the car and shimmying a bit next to Rolo and Pidge before leaning back to harmonize with Hunk for the chorus.

_What doesn't kill you makes you stronger_

_Stand a little taller_

_Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone_

Lance smirks to himself as he sees Keith pouting beside him. He hopes this is his version of hell. He hopes Keith is suffering in pop music singalong hell.

It is not lost on Lance that the lyrics can somewhat apply to his situation with Keith.

He turns to Keith more directly, ready to enjoy the boy’s suffering when he sees that Keith is already looking at him. His eyebrows are drawn together a bit and his face looks softer than Lance can ever remember seeing it. Lance’s heart speeds up.

_What doesn't kill you makes a fighter_

Oh

_Footsteps even lighter_

_Oh_

_Doesn't mean I'm over cause you're gone_

**_Oh shit._ **

 

**_**********_ **

Later, Lance gets ready for bed, ignoring a weird feeling in his stomach. He glances at the texts he missed while in the shower.  

 

**[Message Received: 12/2/2016 11:32pm]**

Pidge: It felt good being mean to him

Pidge: But it’s not really our style is it?

 

**[Message Received: 12/2/2016 11:37pm]**

Hunk: I know you guys have history and that he was/is an asshole

Hunk: Idk I didn’t get the sense he is a bad guy though?

Hunk: Like, if I didn’t know better because of what u told me

 

**Message Received: 12/2/2016 11:43pm]**

Rolo: Dude, let’s go get some boba tea there is a new boba tea place lets go do it

**[Message Received: 10/21/2016 10:15am]**

Unknown: Did you jerk off thinking about me last night?

**[Message Received: 10/28/2016 1:15am]**

Unknown: Do you need someone to tuck you in? You were pretty terrified of the obviously fake, not scary, cheap shit at that house

**[Message Received: 12/2/2016 11:53pm]**

Unknown: You are taking me to get the coffee you owe me tomorrow. I’ll be at your place around 11. Don’t bring anyone else.

 

Lance ignores all of the messages. He is done dealing with any of it tonight.

He tries to clear his mind of a rotating set of images. Keith’s hand on his wrist. His laughter. Pelvic thrusts. That ugly red jacket. His face looking at Lance in the backseat of the car. Thighs touching. Pelvic thrusts.   

_What doesn’t kill you makes you a fighter_

Lance is bitterly sure of two things as he sinks into sleep. One is that his flesh is weak.

Two being that he will be ready by 11 tomorrow to buy coffee for Keith Kogane.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't really head canon Keith as dumb, but that is all they know how to make fun of him at the moment. I see him as having average to above average grades, not really caring to be a scholar, but also not struggling. Also, he likes certain random subjects like certain History classes and Geology. 
> 
> This is the red jacket I am imagining for Keith  
> http://www.thepropanesystem.com/moncler-mens-jackets-c-1/moncler-shiny-thomas-mens-red-jackets-p-385
> 
> This is the song they sing-no one can convince me that Lance does not have this on his Ipod or Iphone or whatever they use in whatever time the show is set in...  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xn676-fLq7I
> 
> This is the face Keith is making at Lance-it literally got me through last week.  
> http://klanced.tumblr.com/post/153216714387/sniperlance-every-time-keith-makes-this-face-at


	6. Crossroads

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith, no.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please see end for Discourse Disclaimer :p  
> So, some slight plot development now. I think there will be two more chapters of them fumbling with each other before shit will start going down and we start resolving some stuff established at the beginning. Thanks for putting up with how slow I am with developing plots :(  
> Also, thanks for every hit, review, comments, kudos, subscription, bookmark, click, passing glance, etc. Every single one makes me happy! Over 1000 hits now which is UNBELIEVABLE to me!

Lance changes his outfit at least 5 times before Keith arrives to pick him up. Does he want to look amazing? But why would he want to look good for Keith? It wasn’t like this was a date. He puts on a few nice outfits before switching tactics. He slips into his workout clothes and a big oversized hoodie.

This. This is what I think about you, Keith, Lance tells himself.

Then he remembers that he is taking Keith to Kerberos Coffee and there is a very particular reason he cannot go there looking like a slob. So he puts on one of the original outfits, minus a few accessories, and calls it a day.

It isn’t long after that he finds himself fiddling with the edge of his shirt in the passenger seat of Keith’s car making small talk about the uncharacteristically hot weather this winter.

Kerberos is a fairly new coffee shop, open for only 2-3 years. It has a vaguely futuristic feel. Lance isn’t sure why, but he likes it. The furniture is all mildly modern or futuristic with clean, sharp lines and interesting shapes. The color scheme is mostly white which should feel sterile, but somehow comes off as welcoming. Some of the furniture is a deep purple for color with lime green accent touches all over the store. It definitely isn’t the standard décor for a local coffee shop.

“I’ll have a pumpkin latte, extra sweet,” Lance orders his normal.

Keith snorts. “What are you, a 12-year-old girl?”

“Don’t judge me just because you have bad taste in coffee.” Lance briefly wonders if Keith will order something cool like coffee, black.

“I will have a chai tea latte with soy milk.”

It is Lance’s turn to snort.

“Chai? Soy? You are making fun of MY order, little picky princess?”

“I am lactose intolerant, asshole.”

Lance doubles over with laughter. It isn’t even a big deal, but something about big, tough athletic Keith who could beat people up being felled by milk was too much.

“Oh, that’s good. The great Keith Kogane, unable to handle some dairy. Oh my god, can you not even eat ice cream?”

“Why is this funny? Millions of people are lactose intolerant. And I have pills that work if I want to have dairy. I just have to take like, 8 of them and it’s annoying.”

Lance gains control of himself as they receive their drinks and make their way to a purple sofa. He concentrates on his drink, unsure of how to proceed. Keith has been a constant in his life for a long time now, but he realizes that he has rarely been alone with the boy. Lance tries to remember if they had ever actually just talked. It was always with other people or Keith being a dick to him. In some ways, that would be more natural.

“Hey. So, what do you like about Legos?”

Lance is startled out of his thoughts.

“You know, you act like I am obsessed with Legos. I like them, but it’s not like it’s all I do. Like, if you are going to make fun of me for being a loser, there are better and more accurate ways to do it.”

“I’m not making fun of you. I just wanted to know…”

“It doesn’t have to be Legos even. I like building things. I like taking a bunch of little pieces and fitting them together. I like figuring out different ways to put things together. I do puzzles too, but I like how three dimensional Legos are.”

Keith nods and leans forward a bit, smiling.

“It is a stress reliever too. Like, you can put on a TV show and just build something. All that practice is helping me at school actually…”

“What is your major?”

“Mechanical Engineering. One of my classes next semester has a project where you have to make a Rube Goldberg machine. I am already brainstorming ideas. Like, I want to make something cool and unique. It’s a competition and if I win I could put it on my resume. I think you also win something, like a gift card. I may want to do something ridiculously complicated like make something really complex just to turn a page of a book or something. Or maybe just make it look really stylish. That doesn’t really matter, but there is no reason a Rube Goldberg machine has to be ugly. Of course, the technical qualities matter the most, but you can be stylish and efficient, you know?”

Lance realizes he has been rambling and looks back over at Keith, who is still smiling. He blushes and cuts himself off.

“So, what is your major?”

“Uh, undeclared. Honestly, I don’t have some clear idea of what I want to do. I am good at athletic stuff so maybe something there? It would be fun to be a coach. Since I play college ball, it wouldn’t be that hard to get a position somewhere, if I wasn’t picky.”

“Did you volunteer for that kid’s football program just because you could have an excuse to be here to annoy me?”

“Self-centered much? I have volunteered for this program since high school. It rotates between four different universities and this year just happened to be your university.”

Lance was surprised.

“Since high school? Do you enjoy working with little kids? You don’t seem the kid type.”

Keith shrugs.

“I am not natural with kids like some people are. But a lot of these kids see the camp and football as an escape and that is something I get. It was the same for me when I was younger. I enjoy working with them. They aren’t really little kids so it’s not like I have to be a parent to them exactly. More like a mentor and that is easier than having to be cutesy with the really young ones.”

Lance sits back, processing the information. An escape? An escape from? Can he ask? Should he ask?

Keith abruptly stands up.

“I am going to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”

Lance watches the other boy make his way to the back of the store when he feels someone else sit down next to him. He turns his head and sees the reason why he cannot ever come to Kerberos looking bad.

It’s Shiro, god of coffee shops.

Lance crosses his leg at his knee and tries to lean back. Don’t look like a dork, he tells himself. Look cool. Be cool.

Shiro is the owner of Kerberos. He is also one of the most gorgeous men Lance has ever seen. He had a body that, Pre-Shiro, Lance wasn’t sure even existed outside of fantasies and fan art. Or maybe Marvel actors. He was muscular and tall. He had a cool haircut with a white streak and undercut. Lance isn’t sure if the white streak is real or fake and it doesn’t really matter because it looks awesome. He has a sculpted face with high cheekbones and a kind smile and eyes. He was some sort of military veteran and had a scar across his nose and a prosthetic arm. These did nothing but make him even hotter somehow.

One time Lance had walked into the bathroom and Shiro was at the sink with his sleeves rolled up just enough to expose his forearms. The first few buttons of his shirt were undone and he was splashing water on his face. Lance had stared long and hard enough that Shiro had asked him if he was ok.

Another time, Shiro had come into the shop wearing his workout clothes. Lance wasn’t sure they actually qualified as workout clothes so much as ungodly distractions to anyone who was interested in men. The tight, black material had fit almost like a leotard, showing off every curve and muscle. Lance couldn’t tear his eyes away again, earning a smirk from Shiro and Pidge elbowing him and telling him to just take a picture.

So, Lance’s record with looking cool in front of Shiro was pretty bad. But, he can still try.

“Hey Lance, haven’t seen you in awhile! How are you? Are you doing good?”

“I am now,” Lance manages to reply. Shiro smiles warmly at him, leaning his arm across the back of the sofa. Lance doesn’t miss how easy it would be to scoot just a bit closer and be underneath that arm.  

Shiro is a nice guy too. Lance knows that Shiro knows he is a huge dork who is about as smooth as sand paper, but instead of calling him out on it or being annoyed, Shiro seems to enjoy it or at least humors Lance.

It is why Shiro is a legend in the area. He isn’t just really hot, but also a really nice guy who makes everyone feel accepted and welcome. He is the type of person who somehow transcended normal boundaries of attraction. Like, everyone is a little attracted to Shiro. Everyone. He was untouchable though. Lance cannot actually imagine anyone being with Shiro. It is like having a crush on a fictional character or celebrity.  

“Have you finished finals yet? We have some student specials right now if you are here studying late at night. You should come!”

“I might have to do that. How are you? Have you been busy lately?”

“Oh, you know how it is. The holiday flavors are really popular right now.”

Lance opens his mouth to respond when he feels someone grab his knee and jerk it to the side roughly.

“Hey!” he says as he sees a red and black blur slam itself in between him and Shiro. There is so little space between them that Keith is partially in Lance’s lap, forcing Lance to scoot over.

“So, who are you?” Keith’s tone is sharp as he glares at Shiro.

Shiro is silent for a moment.

“You can call me Shiro. I am a friend of Lance’s.”

Lance takes a moment to reel at the fact that Shiro had just called him a friend.

“Oh really?” Keith’s eyebrow raises as his hand reaches over to rest on Lance’s knee.

“Sorry, I didn’t realize I was interrupting something,” Shiro says.

“You aren’t!” Lance says a bit too loudly. He pushes Keith’s hand off his knee.

“You aren’t interrupting. Keith is just my brother’s friend.”

He ignores whatever facial expression Keith shoots at him.

“Oh. Ok.”

There is an awkward moment of silence.

“I also own this place. Kerberos is mine.”

“Oh.” Keith takes a long, slow look around him. “Interesting color choices. Very…unique,” he sneers.

“All the customers seem to like it. All the ones who made this the #1 coffee choice in our city last year.”

“Can’t expect the general public to have good taste…”

“Lance, do you like it?” Shiro looks directly at him.

Lance tries to stop internally screaming long enough to respond.

“Oh yes, Shiro, I love it!”

Shiro winks at him and Lance melts under that gaze.

Shiro excuses himself quickly afterward and the day seems over. Keith is sulking now, the easy conversation they had going before his bathroom break long forgotten.

Lance finds himself silently sitting in Keith’s car again.

“Oh, Shiro, yes I love it! I love youuuuu Shiro, Oh Shiro!!” Keith finally breaks the silence, mimicking Lance’s voice.

Lance gapes at him.

“Excuse me???”

“That guy was rude as fuck.”

“Keith, you seem to be the one who is being rude here. He literally was telling me about student specials when you walked up acting like a cave man.”

“Oh please. He saw that we were together and waited until I was gone to make his move.”

“You sound like a literal crazy person right now. He probably just walked in and saw me sitting there.”

“How old is he anyway? Like, 40? He is old enough to be your dad.”

“He is 25 years old hardly old enough to be my dad.”

“How do you know he is 25 years old?”

“Uh, I may occasionally stalk…look at his facebook and twitter…and instagram…and tumblr.”

 “Jesus Lance. I hope you know there is nothing there. That would be a one night stand and nothing else.”

“I would feel extremely grateful to get even a one night stand out of Shiro. I mean, did you see him?”

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Lance realizes this is the most forward he has ever been about his sexuality with Keith.

“He isn’t _that_ hot. He’s probably a creep.”

“Why do you even care? Why do you care if I have a hot sexy one night stand with Shiro?”

Keith is silent.

“If I didn’t know better I would think you were jealous.”

“Maybe I am,” Keith snaps and Lance’s entire world turns upside down. There might as well be one big error message plastered over his face as he gapes at Keith.

“But…but…but…but… you are straight!”

Keith laughs loudly.

“What the fuck Lance? I am gay. I am really gay. How could you not know that?”

Lance gasps so loudly that it sounds comical even to his ears.

“Aren’t we supposed to have a radar or something? I knew about you from like, the first time I saw you.”

“The radar…is stupid, it doesn’t always work that way. But, you are gay? Like, you like men? Like men like that? You…would kiss men?”

“I have kissed men. I do kiss men. In fact, I have done more than just kiss men.”

There are a million different thoughts popping into Lance’s head. A million questions. As they park and make their way back to Lance’s apartment door, none of the important questions seem to take shape.

He turns to face Keith when they reach his door. Keith invades his personal space, getting close, slamming his hand down beside Lance’s head, trapping Lance between his body and the door.

Lance snickers internally. Doesn’t he know kabedons really only work if you are taller?  

“I know you have thought about me before,” Keith whispers, intense eyes boring into Lance’s.

“And have you thought about me?” Lance, hoping to gain control of the situation.

“Yes. All the time. I don’t think I have masturbated to anything else since that night with the lingerie and you didn’t even put it on. I seriously jerked it this morning to you before coming to pick you up.”

Lance doesn’t think he can blush any harder than he is now. He looks down, unable to make eye contact anymore.

“Jesus,” Lance whispers, shocked at his honesty.

“We can have fun together, yeah? Why don’t you let me in.”

“Uhmmmm,” Lance might die as Keith leans his head closer and nibbles on his ear.

“I’ll let you top this time if that is what you are worried about. Or we don’t have to do actual sex. There are lots of ways we can have fun together.” He brings his knee between Lance’s legs, just a bit, and Lance prays he can’t feel how much he is enjoying this.

Lance manages to bring together enough of his shattered senses to formulate a game plan to deal with the hot guy currently kissing the side of his neck. It feels good, too good.

“Do you know what I really want, Keith?” he whispers while reaching a hand back to unlock his door.

“Anything. Tell me anything and I will make it happen.”

“I want….to know why you think I would ever want you anywhere near my body.”

As he says this, Lance unlocks his door and does a quick twirl into his apartment, turning and slamming the door shut in Keith’s shocked face. Lance locks the door behind him.

It is probably the smoothest Lance has ever been in his entire life. He didn’t expect that to actually work. He expected the door not to unlock since he was turning the key from a funny angle. Or, he would stumble when he tried to get in the door. Or Keith would grab him or stick his foot in the apartment. Somehow, God is on his side this time though. He wishes someone else had seen that.

He has his phone out and is texting Pidge before he even reaches his couch.

**[Message Sent: 12/3/2016 1:09pm]**

Lance: Holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit

Lance: he is GAY

Pidge: Keith?

Lance: How did you know I meant Keith?

Pidge: You were just with him and he is like, all you talk about now

Lance: Do not! But yes, Keith is GAY

Pidge: I mean, I figured he wasn’t straight

Lance: Why didn’t you tell me???

Pidge: I tried and you shot me down. I didn’t know he was gay anyway, just not straight. Could be bi, or questioning or something.  

Pidge: Like, do you remember when you dropped the pencil at trivia when taking our answers up to the front?

Lance: I guess so?

Pidge: Keith practically took a picture when you bent over. I swear to god he almost took a picture. No straight guy appreciates your ass that much.

Lance: Omggggggg

Lance: He wants my body

Pidge: So he came out to you?

Lance: Yes and then tried to bang me. He even said I could top!!!!!!!!!!

Pidge: Wow

Lance: I know. He didn’t seem like the vers. type. I would have guessed 100% top.

Pidge: You were in denial he was even gay until right now.

Lance: Hush.

Pidge: So now that it is confirmed. Is he like, out out?

Lance: What do you mean?

Pidge: Does Nyma know? His parents?

Lance: I didn’t ask.

Lance: Oh shit, what if Nyma doesn’t know?

Pidge: Surely she has to know…

Lance: And be in a 3+ year fake relationship with Keith? There have been engagement rumors…

Pidge: I mean, it’s happened before in history, I guess

Lance: I wish I had asked. He was being really honest. But, when his tongue was on me…

Pidge: WHAT?

Lance: I told you he tried to bang me!

Pidge: Do you want to bang him?

Lance: Waist down Lance does. Waist Up Lance says hell no. Part of me wishes I could just have a one night stand to see what it would be like. I bet he would be a good lay.

Pidge: Are you really the casual sex type though?

Lance: No.

Lance: Plus, I sure as hell don’t want Keith taking my V-card anyway.

Lance: It’s fun to tease him though.

Lance: Shiro winked at me too. I think he was just messing with Keith though.

Pidge: Oh god, Shiro. If he actually flirted with you, I hate you. And I am not even interested in men.

Lance: Am I sexier than I thought I was?

Pidge: You are adorable

Pidge: [Puppy Emoticon]

Lance: I want to be sexy

Pidge: Fine, you are sexy too.

Lance: …

Lance: I could be inside Keith Kogane right now.

Pidge: Omg, stahp

Pidge: I am sure you will have other chances

Lance: He is actually coming to the festival next weekend. Are you still coming?

Pidge: Yes, wouldn’t miss it.

Lance: Then, Keith is traveling for Christmas to see his grandparents. So, it will be a Merry Keithless Christmas after the weekend. Should I tease him at the festival? Bend over in front of him some more?

Pidge: You know your brother will be there

Lance: So???

Lance: I wish it wasn’t so chilly. I would wear my short shorts or something.

Pidge: If you aren’t actually interested in Keith maybe you should just tell him

Lance: That isn’t any fun.

Pidge: I almost feel sorry for him. You can be a little monster sometimes.  

Lance: [Devil Emoticon]

 

After ending the conversation, Lance makes his way back to his room. As he unzips his pants and sprawls on his bed, he tries to imagine Shiro, bending him over, strong hands guiding Lance’s hips. Every time he pictures the beautiful grey eyes and face, it slips into Keith’s face though, open and honest, telling him he would do anything Lance wanted.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. I had already mapped this out before I even realized there is age discourse in the fandom. This is not in any way a commentary at all in either direction and you can fantasize or not fantasize about whichever Voltron characters you want as far as I am concerned. I will be pretty strictly Klance always though. Shiro is not going to be an actual love interest here. 
> 
> 2\. I am aware that certain head canons that we have as fans will not come true in the actual show. I am actually ok with that. I don't need my head canons to be actual canon to enjoy the show. I have already resigned myself to accepting the fact that I don't think Klance will actually be canon. I mean, it will make my year...or decade...if it does, but I understand the situation in the world that may not let it happen. However, there are two head canons that I will never be able to let go of in the show. Those are Keith being gay and lactose intolerant. If they try to give Keith a girlfriend or a glass of milk (without pills) I will be like LOL NO.


	7. Schism

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First kisses and resolutions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure if everyone had the experience of doing those obstacle course bounce houses at field days (or other places) but this is what I was trying to describe, basically.  
> http://kicksandgigglesrentals.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/product_obstacle_50_1.jpg  
> I am not sure if a Christmas version exists, but I have done a pirate one and a fantasy castle one, so why not? :p

Bells are ringing and Lance is in a holly jolly mood. His family firmly believes in waiting until after Thanksgiving to start celebrating, but once Black Friday hits it is full Christmas for the entire month. Everything about the season makes Lance happy, from the sparkling decorations to the music to the atmosphere of friendliness that doesn’t seem to exist at other times, even among strangers. He loves the tacky bright green tree decorations at the local grocery store. He loves bells being everywhere. He loves the chilly bite to the weather that allows him to bring out a scarf, sweater, and glove collection that is unrivaled on the East coast. He loves the decorative brooms that are supposed to make your kitchen smell nice. He loves the holiday flavors in everything, beyond just Pumpkin Spice.  He loves how everything is bright, lively, and happy.

Lance pretty much listens to Christmas music exclusively through the month as well. He appreciates the corny songs, such as Grandma got Run Over by a Reindeer, the classics by Bing Crosby and Elvis, and poppier contemporary songs like Mariah Carey. He also appreciates all the music he grew up hearing at Mass. Gentle, slow hymns like Silent Night and Away in a Manger. He and his mother also always go to see a performance of the Nutcracker, every year, so that music makes its way into his month. Lance understands that Christmas music has depth and can appreciate the full spectrum of holiday possibility when it comes to his playlist.

It isn’t just the decorations or the music that Lance loves about Christmas. Lance is also one of the few people who seems to understand the true spirit of Christmas. He loves giving gifts and helping people. It isn’t so much about the gift itself or the money, but rather showing someone that you care about that you appreciate them. He is particularly good at giving people meaningful gifts, ones that say he understands and cares. He also always sponsors at least one child per year from the local child services Christmas drive. He spends hours agonizing over what a “10 year old girl” might want to wear or what a “7 year old boy” would want to read.

In short, Lance is in a mood that nothing (even Keith) can bring down. The beginning of the month-long festivities starts with a tree lighting ceremony in the major city located near their hometown. Happening the week after Thanksgiving, the ceremony is basically a big festival with activities, crafts, items to buy, food, music, and dancing. Lance’s entire family usually attended along with whatever friends they could drag along.

It is where Lance finds himself on this Friday night, running around happy as a child, dragging Pidge along as he bounces around the park where the tree lighting occurs. They look in booths, decorate Christmas ornaments, and occasionally meet back with family and friends who are scattered around the park as well. Lance’s mom and dad sit down near the tree, drinking hot chocolate, and Lance occasionally runs back to them, showing off what he has made or bought. Keith is there with Anthony and a few other high school football friends and their girlfriends. This works in Lance’s favor. Keith and him had not spoken since their not-date at the café and Lance doesn’t mind that he is distracted now by Anthony and other people.

At some point during the night, Lance finds himself standing in front of the large gingerbread bounce house obstacle course. The edges of the roof extend down to create the wall you climb up and then there is a slide on the other side when you are finished. White frosting dotted with gum drop candies guide your way the entire time.

Keith and Anthony are standing close to the house as well, having a heated discussion about something while their other friends are buying cotton candy.  

“Why do they even have something like this?” Keith complains.   

“These are fun!” Anthony, ever the optimist.

Lance isn’t sure why he does this, but he finds himself walking up to the other two.

“I bet I can get up that wall faster than you,” the words come out of Lance’s mouth before he can stop himself, looking directly at Keith. Keith’s eyes glint.

“It’s on.”

They wait in line together. The line is surprisingly long and mostly comprised of children. Anthony and PIdge watch, one smiling and the other irritated. Keith is slightly hunched, body tense, in a position like he is about to sprint down a football field. Lance rolls his eyes.

Keith pretty much destroys Lance from the moment they enter the course. It makes sense since he is an actual athlete, but that doesn’t make Lance any less angry. So, before he can get too far ahead, Lance reaches across to Keith’s side, grabs his ankle, and yanks hard.

Keith is not expecting it, and, with a surprised noise, loses his grip, and slides down to the very bottom. Lance cannot stop himself from laughing as he scrambles up the wall.

He spares one glance backward and what he sees makes his blood go cold. Keith is climbing again, except he has a look on his face that only someone on a rival team would have seen before. His eyes are burning balls of fire as he scales the wall like a gladiator. His face is intense and he looks like he might actually murder Lance.  

“Oh shit.” Lance climbs for his life, just pulling up over the ledge of the wall when Keith catches up to him. At the top, Keith approaches him with his fist balled and Lance is afraid Keith is literally going to hit him over something as stupid as a gingerbread bounce house. However, when Keith reaches him, he wraps his arm around his neck and then tosses him like a ragdoll down the slide.

From his crumpled position at the bottom of the slide, Lance looks up and sees Keith laughing.

“You…you asshole!”

“You started it!”

“HEY! You guys can’t do that! Someone will get hurt! Please leave right now!”

A volunteer who looks no older than sixteen stalks over, wearing a city polo shirt, glaring at both of them.

Keith slides down the slide with as much dignity as he can muster and they both walk away from the bounce house as quickly as possible. Once they have some distance, they make eye contact, and crack up in laugher.

“Dude, we just got in trouble at a bouncey house,” Lance gasps out.  

“Some sixteen year old just lectured us.”

“Did you see how those moms were looking at us?”

Lance isn’t currently acknowledging how natural it feels to be around Keith.

He splits from Keith and Anthony again, choosing to go drink hot chocolate with his dad while his mom and Pidge disappear somewhere in the dark. They make sure to tell him not to come, so he wonders if they are buying something for him.  

The lights are all on at this point and the city was twinkling and glittering from every angle. They looked like stars, or maybe fireflies drifting over the night sky. Everything seemed alive and beautiful at this moment to Lance.

It is perhaps why he doesn’t glare when Keith and Anthony return moments later and Keith has that look on his face. The one that means he is up to something.

“I bought these tickets for the Ferris wheel and…”

Lance waits for the lame ass excuse Keith would give to make it seem like he just accidentally needs Lance to go with him and use the other ticket rather than just admitting he wants to spend time with Lance.

“And I was wondering if you wanted to go on it with me?”

Oh. Huh. Lance can’t help agreeing to go, especially with Anthony and his dad looking at him. He thinks he sees Anthony shoot him a dark look, uncharacteristic for him.

The Ferris wheel is a year-round structure that is climate controlled. It makes huge rotations, pausing at the top for a few minutes for each pod so passengers can get a good view of the city.

The view is every bit as beautiful as Lance is expecting. The entire city looks like the galaxy miniaturized. He presses his face against the window, enjoying the delightful scenery of the entire city lit up like a Christmas tree.

Keith is quiet until they are on the downward swing of their first rotation.

“You know” he says, “when we are at the top of the rotation no one can see us.”

Lance doesn’t quite get his meaning, at first. It is on the upper half of the rotation, near the top, that Keith puts his arm around him and pulls him close. He nuzzles Lance’s neck and hair, gently.

“You drive me fucking crazy,” he murmurs into Lance’s neck, peppering little kisses on him. When they begin the downward rotation, they break apart mutually, putting distance between them.

Lance fiddles with the drawstrings of his hoodie, torn between telling Keith to go fuck himself and curiosity as to what the next rotation would bring.

When they reach the apex again, Keith leans over and gently grabs Lance’s chin, turning his face toward him. Lance knew where this was heading, but still isn’t completely prepared when Keith kisses him.

Their first kiss is surprisingly romantic. The lights shimmer in the dark night and Lance feels like they are on top of the world. Keith is a gentle, passionate kisser. There is a part of Lance that wishes he could just enjoy this for what it is.

The truth is, Lance actually feels some chemistry with the other boy. It is more than just physical attraction, which has always been there. He has fun when he can forget that Keith is Keith. He enjoys his company.

But, there is a thorn sticking deep in any type of connection between the two, a cut that isn’t going to go away with a few fun memories. There are memories, memories that still hurt, memories that make Lance mistrust Keith.

Part of Lance still feels like he is being jerked around, that Keith is using him. How can he think otherwise, when Keith himself has basically admitted it?

_I’m bored. Entertain me._

Who says he wants to kiss Keith anyway? Keith who uses him for entertainment, Keith who had tried to have sex with him without even kissing him first or really getting to know him or taking him out on a real date or, hell, apologizing for past behavior. Anger starts to bubble up in Lance’s stomach.  Ultimately, it is always Keith who sets the pace, who decides when to be mean or not, who decides when they spend time together or not. Who seems to be treating him, at times, like some quick fuck and not someone who he had known for over a decade of their short lives and who is also the younger brother of his best friend. Lance wonders if the gentler treatment now is just a way to get what Keith wants.    

These thoughts weigh on Lance’s mind as the Ferris wheel begins moving again. He bites his lip and looks out the window. He wants to make the right decision in the next few minutes before they reach that apex again. He is starting to understand that things may be going too far and moving too fast. That he is in over his head.

Unfortunately, Lance doesn’t always make good decisions.

As soon as they reach the top again, he turns and grabs Keith’s scarf, yanking his face into his own. He kisses him hard, so hard that there are teeth involved. Keith is still and tense for a moment, radiating surprise, then begins kissing back just as aggressively. Lance nips at Keith’s invading tongue and slips his own into Keith’s mouth. It isn’t particularly sexy despite the sexual nature of what they were doing. Keith responds though, putting his hand behind Lance’s head, holding him in place. All it takes is Lance’s hand brushing against Keith’s lap to know just how much Keith is enjoying this.

When they break apart this time, Keith is breathing hard. Lance doesn’t dare look at him. They remain silent through the next rotation, in some sort of bubble, another world that only contains the two of them. Lance has no idea what he is doing. Though he had enjoyed the fact that Keith is attracted to him, he knows that things are going too far, that the longer this goes on the harder it will be to stop it. It is a game that can’t last forever with someone like Keith, someone who is loved by Lance’s family and especially his older brother.

Lance doesn’t love Keith though.

He can tell that Keith is waiting to see what happens at the next turn. When they reach the top again, both wait for a moment, seeing who would make the first move. Lance body seems to move on its own as he slinks partially into Keith’s lap. He digs his hands into Keith’s hair, pulling his head back until his throat is exposed. He licks his neck and then begins sucking as high up as he can. Keith makes a noise that sounds straight out of a porno and leans his head back further, giving better access.

Lance wants everyone to know exactly what Keith is doing, making is so that he wouldn’t be able to wear anything but scarves and turtlenecks for the next week anywhere he went, even at home. He wants to mark Keith.

As the downward rotation begins, Lance scrambles away, realizing that he is basically straddling Keith. As he tries to get back to his side of the pod, Keith grabs his arm. Lance makes the mistake of making eye contact with Keith.

What he sees there shakes him to the core.

He quickly breaks eye contact, looking down, away, anywhere safe.

“Don’t run away from me anymore,” Keith says, finally breaking the silence that has characterized most of the ride. 

Lance doesn’t answer. When they exit, it is easy to get lost in the crowd, only giving one wayward glance at Keith rearranging his scarf before leaving.  Lance shakily finds his way to Pidge and his mother, both looking at novelty Christmas phone covers.

**********

 

The rest of that night is a blur. Lance feels like a zombie, seeing his parents off to work the next day, eating cereal in front of the TV. He goes through the motions of texting his friends, Pidge about her brother, Rolo about his holiday plans. His brother tells him they need to talk later before their parents get home and Lance assumes it is about a Christmas present for them. He isn’t surprised to get a text from his “favorite” Unknown either.

**[Message Received: 10/21/2016 10:15am]**

Unknown: Did you jerk off thinking about me last night?

**[Message Received: 10/28/2016 1:15am]**

Unknown: Do you need someone to tuck you in? You were pretty terrified of the obviously fake, not scary, cheap shit at that house

**[Message Received: 12/2/2016 11:53pm]**

Unknown: You are taking me to get the coffee you owe me tomorrow. I’ll be at your place around 11. Don’t bring anyone else.

**[Message Received: 12/9/2016 10:37am]**

Unknown: I had fun last night.

 

He still cannot get it out of his mind. That moment of eye contact. Keith’s eyes had been on fire, but not just with lust. It made Lance feel weird inside, a warmth he didn’t entirely appreciate spreading. It ends now. It ends here, Lance tells himself.

He wonders if he has been playing with fire. 

He hears a knock on the door about midday. He prays to everything that it isn’t Keith. Please, anyone but Keith. Literally anyone but Keith. Not when he was here alone. Not when he is trying to cut off whatever weird dynamic they seem to have fallen into over the last few weeks. Not when he can still feel Keith’s lips on his.

When he opens the door, he is not expecting to see Nyma standing there.

She smiles sweetly at him.

“Hey, can we talk?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I am being told I need a tumblr to post when I update. I do have one, but literally just use it to like things. Maybe I should start using it more?  
> Also, I bought the Voltron comics and they are worth the 2-3 dollars per comic. Maybe I just miss new Voltron content, but they are really funny. There are also several moments where Lance says something annoying and everyone looks annoyed except for Keith who is smiling. Worth the money right there :p


	8. Absence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance learns some pieces to the puzzle. Or two characters in this fic finally sit down and have a real conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of my real life friends finally read this and her opinion was basically that she hates Keith and doesn't see him ending up with Lance. So, I am like, challenge accepted. I am going to make her like Keith if its the last thing I do. We are finally getting into some development in that respect though. Maybe I should add slow burn to the tags?

Like he is watching himself from afar, Lance casually invites Nyma in and then offers to make her tea. Nothing weird here. Nyma is in your house right now. She might be about to yell at you about Keith. It is perfectly normal to offer Nyma Chabert tea and then enter your living room and smile while you both sit on the couch.  And then possibly discuss the hot mullet-y problem that has infiltrated your life.

“You guys have a nice house. Those vases are so pretty. And I can’t believe Anthony was ever that small.” She starts, gazing at the wall of family photos they have in the living room.

“Thanks. The vases are my great-grandmother’s, basically family heirlooms. And yeah, Anthony was tiny before his growth spurt.” Perfectly normal to discuss your great-grandmother’s vases with Nyma right now.

“So, you probably know why I am here…”

Though he can surmise the subject matter, there is still a part of him that isn’t sure exactly how much Nyma knows or what her motivations might be for coming here. She and Keith have spent years in a relationship of some sort, fake or not. He suspects she has to know Keith is gay, but he also remembers all those times he caught them draped over one another, looking in love. Maybe she was totally oblivious. Maybe Keith is secretly an Oscar-quality actor.

He isn’t expecting her to sit her tea cup down and then punch his arm lightly.

“You little dog you. I never thought **you** would be the one.” She is smiling, a genuinely friendly smile, not her usual frozen one.

“Uh, wait, what?”

“Keithy has a thing for you. I think he is going to ask to get out.”

“Get out? So, you know….”

Lance cuts off the rest of his sentence. Of course she knew. She had always known.

“So you guys have been fake dating this entire time?”

“Yes. Oh god, how many years has it been now? Sometimes I think we forget it is pretend.”

All those times flipped through his head of them in high school, holding hands, seeming genuinely in love. Cuddling in the lunch room, lovingly whispering to each other. Nothing about their relationship had felt fake. Lance had even been jealous.

“You guys are the best actors in the world.”

“Did we trick you? At least for awhile?” She seems happy at this, visibly perking up.

“You guys seemed like you were in love. It was gross.”

She laughs, again, a friendly, appealing laugh. She relaxes now, draping herself against the back of the couch.

“So all those times were…fake?” Lance couldn’t believe he had been this incredibly wrong.  

“Yep.”

“The times he brought you flowers.”

“Nice, but not in the romantic sense.”

“The times you hung all over each other and whispered in each other’s ears for entire lunch periods?”

“We were probably discussing which celebrities we wanted to fuck.”

“The kissing?”

“Fake fake fake. Keith is absolutely my best friend in the world though. You know how it is, right?”

“How what is?”

“Being gay and growing up in the Bible belt. Sucks, right? It is nice to have a buddy.”

There is a moment of silence where Lance contemplates the meaning of her words.

“Wait…you…you too?”

She opens her hands like she is presenting herself.

“Ta da! Big lesbian. Really big. Who would want a guy when you can have a girl?”

Lance is starting to wonder if everyone in his life is secretly gay.

“Is that why you did the fake relationship thing?”

“Yes. You know, when you are beautiful and popular there are certain expectations. Like, it would have been totally weird if we didn’t date anyone. So, voila. We just dated each other”

“Ok, but even after high school?”

“It was just easy to keep it going especially since, you know, the whole parents deal.”

“Your parents…your parents don’t know you are gay? Yours, Keith’s?”

“I always thought my parents would flip if they knew I was gay. I am actually thinking of coming clean though. Life is short, right?”

Any trace of humor leaves her face at this point.

“Keith….”

She paused here, looking down at the cup of tea.

“There are probably some things he wants to tell you himself, but his parents are against it.”

“It?”

“Being gay.”

Lance blinks. He knew, of course, that some people still have that opinion. And not just a few people on the outskirts of society. Even those elected to office did. It wasn’t something he could personally understand. Lance was only ever “against” people because they were mean or did awful things to other people. Not because of who they loved. But, of course, not everyone is like Lance. It feels shocking, though, to think about it happening to someone he knows. He had always been accepted by his family. He cannot imagine a reality different from that, or what he would have done if his family hadn’t accepted his very existence.  

“Anyway, dating just solved all of our problems. But, we always had a pact.”

She takes his hand here and Lance looks down at it dumbly.

“We always knew this was just a temporary thing. And, we always promised each other that, when the time came, we would just break up when one of us found someone they wanted to date for real.”

Lance looks back up at her. Her light blue eyes are twinkling.

He points at himself.

“And I’m the one he wants to date for real?”

“Jesus, he hasn’t exactly been subtle has he? Yes, haven’t you even been on dates lately?”

“Uh, I am not sure I would call those dates.”

“I mean, he told me he hasn’t even had sex with you yet. That is how I know it is serious. Keith is usually a hit it and quit it type.”

Lance recoils a bit, taking his hand away from her.

“I just wanted to let you know that it is cool. I am totally fine with it. Maybe it’s time for me to get serious too. We are getting older, you know.”

“It is cool?”

“Yes, no hard feelings at all. However, if you hurt him I will kill you. Seriously, no one messes with my bestie.”

“If I hurt him?”

“Keith doesn’t give a shit about anyone, but when he does he cares hard. You need to be careful with him.”

Lance processes the fact that he is basically getting a shovel talk from Nyma Chabert and, in this version, Lance is the one hurting Keith.

“Ok. Who says that I even want to date him though?”

Nyma laughs.

“Lance, you left the biggest hickey I have ever seen on his neck. By the way, his neck is his weak spot. Don’t tell him I told you.” She squeezes his forearm here, winking at him.

“I know you guys aren’t like, official yet, but I thought I might as well break the ice especially since Keith sucks at communicating and I wasn’t sure what he told you about us.”

He isn’t sure exactly how to respond. He understands that she is trying to be nice here. He even thinks that she sees them all being buddies once the dust has settled. Like, maybe they can gossip together with each other or get their nails done together. The same anger that he felt the previous night with the Ferris wheel is settling low in his stomach though. He doesn’t think that he and Keith have ever had, what Lance would call, a real conversation. He knew nothing, really, about the boy who supposedly wants to date him. Lance is tired, very tired, of everyone assuming things, of everyone making plans without considering his thoughts on the matter. Maybe he doesn’t want to date Keith. Maybe he thinks Keith is a dick to him. Maybe he doesn’t want to gossip with Nyma about Keith’s “weak spot.” Maybe he can’t just be friends with them because suddenly now they want that when, in high school, he wasn’t worthy of their respect.

“So, you know I am gay.”

“Oh sweetie, that was obvious from the beginning.”

“Right. And you acknowledge that it is hard being gay in this area.”

“Yeah, sucks right? But what can you do.”

“Earlier, you said that it was nice to have Keith as a buddy for that fact.”

“Where are you going with this?”

“Why weren’t you guys nice to me when you knew I was gay and probably also struggling at times?”

Nyma looks surprised. There is a moment of silence.

“We weren’t…mean to you.”

“You ignored me or were condescending to me. Keith bullied me.”

Lance waits for her to deny it like everyone seemed to be doing lately with his experiences, except for Pidge.

“It’s just hard. You know. We didn’t exactly run in the same circles.”

“Right. I get it.”

He stands up.

“Ok, I think we are done here”

“Lance, wait. High school was a rough time for all of us.”

“And you guys made it rougher.”

He will give her credit in that she actually looks guilty.

“We were really immature. I made some mistakes. I think Keith would say he did too. It’s just…high school, you know? We were dumb. Better late than never, yeah?”

Lance grabs their tea cups and looks at the girl, now standing too.

“High school is tough for a lot of people and they don’t act like Keith did.”

Nyma touches his shoulder here.

“I know that. At least talk to him, ok? Keith doesn’t like…emotions or talking. I basically have to corner him to get him to talk and I am his best friend. If this is what is holding you back, just pin him down and make him talk. I promise he has his reasons…”  

Lance wants to scream. She seems genuine, but he feels like it shouldn’t be up to him to bring this up. If you were a total asshole to someone, then wanted to get in their pants or, even better, actually date, then isn’t it up to you to clear the air?  Did Keith really think that they would just start dating right now?

A moment later, as she is leaving, Nyma pauses and holds out her hand.

“Here, give me your phone. I won’t bother you if you don’t want it, but just know you can talk to me about anything. Like, anything. And if Keith is being a dick I can kick his ass for you.”

Lance nods like this is completely normal. Nyma offering to kick Keith’s ass. Or that Nyma’s number is now in his phone. Or that Nyma is even speaking to him.

*********

Lance enjoys a wonderful holiday season. In addition to the regular traditions that have come to make the season so special for him and his family, it also snows. It is a warmer climate and one that doesn’t always get snow, or at least snow that sticks. Though Lance ultimately prefers heat and the beach, snow is a nice change. Him and his brothers make sleds out of whatever they can find in the garage, Lance at one point only using a piece of cardboard. They join several neighbors sledding down the hill and ultimately it feels like being a child again.

It is also nice not having Keith around. Lance needs some space, some time to clear his head without Keith’s presence. He thinks about what he wants to say to Keith whenever he comes back. He thinks about how he actually feels about Keith.  

A few days after Christmas, Anthony knocks on his bedroom door.  He opens it to find Anthony standing with a big box. The wrapping paper has reindeer At-Ats on it. Lance smiles.

“Oh my god the wrapping paper, this is amazing,” he says.

“It’s for you,” Anthony responds, handing him the box.

The box is actually quite big.

“Who sent it?”

“Keith…Keith sent us a package. Something for me and mom and dad. But also this.”

Lance groans inwardly. They aren’t close enough to warrant buying presents for one another. Lance already makes the decision to send back whatever is in this box.

Once ripping the wrapping paper off, Lance sees a Lego Architecture Studio Set. It is basically the more mature form of Lego and this particular set was a bunch of pieces without a set goal. You could just build whatever you wanted out of it. Lance can’t stop himself from being touched by how nice it is.

A card is taped on the box. The outside is cute and not something he would ever imagine Keith picking out. There are little squirrels and raccoons smiling and wearing Santa hats helping to make a snowman who is also smiling. It is adorable.

He opens it and all it says underneath the canned card greeting wishing him a happy holiday season with joy was a single word.

Keith. Just Keith. Scrawled in messy handwriting. It was written in red, but still, just the word Keith. Lance laughs.

“Doesn’t he know that you are supposed to write your own greeting here or something?”

Lance looks up at Anthony who is frowning back at him.

Before anything else can be said, Lance’s mother steps into the room, wanting to see what was in the box.

Later that day, Lance sits on his bed, absently running his fingers over the box, occasionally picking the card up again and reading Keith’s name. Part of him wants to take the Lego set back, immediately. Reject this gift.

The other part of him wants to create, to build something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so not sure if you like what I did with Nyma, but this was part of the plan from the very, very beginning. I watched Voltron and liked Nyma? I feel like she is a cool character who is doing what she has to do to survive and, in different circumstances, they would all be friends. Yeah, sure, she played Lance, but can you blame her for seeing a total mark and running with it? A lot of people seem to hate her though and I swear every time she is in a fanfic she is some crazy bitch or horrible or cruel.  
> So, I always envisioned her in my fic as flawed, but ultimately can be a good friend and isn't crazy or cruel or sadistic or over-the-top bitchy.   
> Also, I could find nothing on an actual last name for Nyma so I went with her voice actor who is Lacey Chabert. I am so bad at recognizing voices-I had no idea! 
> 
>    
> Also, the wrapping paper I mentioned actually exists. I love it. 
> 
> https://www.etsy.com/listing/164765387/star-wars-atat-reindeer-wrapping-paper


	9. Fury

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Lance is tired of everyone's shit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning-there is a homophobic slur in this chapter. I did write it out this time just because I think that, in this usage and context, it makes sense to say it out loud in order to emphasize the seriousness of how Lance feels about it. It is only used once and it is in reference to the events described in Chapter 1 (if you even remember that!)

Lance wants to find Keith. It feels strange trying to find his dark-haired menace rather than being forced to interact with him. He needs to talk to Keith though. Lance has decided that whatever they have between them needs to end.

Since Keith has a way of dominating situations, he rehearses what he wants to say the night before and, yes, feels a bit like a loser doing it. He has two main objectives. The first being to get an apology from Keith for his past behavior. Or, at least just telling Keith he is an asshole and having Keith actually believe it. Then, firmly telling Keith that he is done being toyed with by him. He would achieve both goals without flirting, without Keith touching him, and without ending the conversation by giving Keith another hickey.

He is visiting his brother on the last weekend before both of their classes start. He likes to visit as much as possible in-between semesters since they don’t get to see each other much during due to their schedules.  Keith and Anthony live in the same house with a group of other athletes. On this Saturday night, there are a bunch of random people draped around the typical cheap college housing. Not a party, but college houses seem to attract visitors. Lance isn’t even sure who actually lives here. He leaves Anthony deeply embroiled in a game of MarioKart, telling him that he will be right back. He has not seen Keith though Anthony told him that Keith is there.

Lance makes his way to Keith’s room first. When there is no response to his knocks, he opens the door. It is empty and not just of Keith. It is a dull, cold room. There are no pictures, no fun items, nothing nerdy to tease the other boy about. His bedspread is plain black and Lance wrinkles his nose at the pile of dirty laundry in the corner. Except for the clothes, it looks like an empty room, like no one lives here.

He walks back out and someone in the hallway tells him that Keith is on the back porch. Keith is not there and someone else tells him that Keith is in the kitchen. Keith is not in the kitchen, but someone else tells him that Keith likes to sit outside sometimes near a small creek that runs near the house.

Lance grumbles his way to the back yard. He walks toward the back of the property and, upon clearing a set of trees, comes up directly behind someone, a stranger, sitting on a big rock near the creek. He huffs, angry that he found another not-Keith and decides to give up for the day. He can tell Keith off another day.

As he turns to go back inside, he hears a questioning voice ask “Lance?”

Lance turns quickly and sees the not-Keith turn and look at him. He can’t stop himself from gasping loudly and staring.

“What happened to your _hair_?”

“I got it trimmed.”

“It’s GONE. Your hair is gone!”

“My parents wanted me to cut it for my grandparents. Seriously, it isn’t THAT short.”

Keith looks back toward the creek. Lance walks closer. It really isn’t that drastic of a change. The mullet is gone, the bangs are trimmed, but for some reason it feels like he is unrecognizable. Lance can admit that the new cut makes Keith look handsome. He looks more mature, like you could stick him in a business suit and he would actually look respectable. Passable as a regular human being who will probably work for his dad’s company one day.

But Lance doesn’t like it.

He considers pushing the fact, maybe teasing the other boy. But the mood felt off. He bites back the urge to ask if he is planning to grow it out again.  

“What are you doing out here?” Keith finally says.

“Looking for you.”

“That is weird.”

“Why?”

“You looking for me. Aren’t you trying to avoid me?”

“Well I guess it’s your lucky day.”  

Keith doesn’t respond. It is dark and this area is mostly lit by moonlight. Keith is looking at the sky, quiet and still. For a moment, Lance pauses. Keith is beautiful at this moment, cold light partially illuminating his face. His face is unguarded and, if Lance didn’t know better, sad.

He finally sits next to Keith and imagines his carefully planned speech and questions. He wants to tell Keith to leave him alone. Then, he wants Keith to apologize for his past behavior. Lance can be at peace if these two things happen tonight.   

Something about the atmosphere is stifling though.  

“Whatcha thinking about?” is what finally emerges from his mouth. He cringes at himself.

There is a moment of silence.

“Have you ever thought about just disappearing? Just walking into the wilderness and not coming back? Or maybe getting blasted into space for some reason, being a trillion light years from home, and being able to live some completely different life in whatever alien world you land in? Maybe doing something stupid like saving the galaxy in a cat alien robot thing. Or, maybe you get a trillion light years away and just…let go instead? It could be like you never existed.”

Lance snorts.

“Keith, seriously. You like yourself too much to disappear.”  

He cannot see Keith’s face from this angle.  

“Plus, a trillion light years is beyond what any of our technology can do right now. 50 billion light years is the edge of the observable universe and we can’t even get close to visiting even that. You want to go way further than that? And a cat robot? Are you on something right now?”

“You are a nerd.” Lance can hear the smile in Keith’s words.

“Says the one inventing big cat robots and currently impossible space travel.”

The conversation is already drifting flirtier than Lance wants. He is also vaguely aware of a feeling deep in his stomach that is telling him that he is missing something.

The ice being broken, Lance is on the verge of saying his rehearsed opening _Keith we need to talk_ …when he watches himself reach over and run his fingers through the newly shorn hair. Keith flinches.

“You shouldn’t be touching me.”

“You always touch me.”

“Don’t worry. I won’t anymore. I won’t come near you anymore. I am done.”

“Good….Wait, why?”

Keith is looking at the sky again.

“Your brother made things very clear.”

“Anthony? He said something to you?”

“I get it. I’m not good enough for his precious baby brother.” There is a hint of bitterness in his tone.  

“He…he said that?”  

“Nyma also talked to me. Made me see things a bit clearer. It’s over.”

Lance is irritated. The conversation isn’t going the way he wanted and now he feels like he is being dumped. Which doesn’t make sense since they aren’t even dating. It annoys him though. He is the one that is supposed to be cutting things off with Keith.

Keith stands up.

“We should go back inside. Wouldn’t want anyone to think I am molesting you out here.”

“God, you are an asshole.”

“I know I am, but why this time? Don’t you want me to stop?”

“I do.”

“Then there isn’t a problem. I’m stopping. I’m done.”

“You are done? Do you think you can just mess with me and then decide you are done? That you can feel me up on a Ferris wheel and give me nice presents and then just decide you are done?”

Lance stands now, anger growing.

“Your brother…”

“My brother doesn’t speak for me.”

“I am confused. So you don’t want me to stop?”

“No, I do.”

“Uh…Ok. I am not sure what you want from me then.”

“I want you to admit you are an asshole. I want you to apologize for being an asshole. Then I want you to leave me alone because **I** told you to.”

Keith turns away from him.

“I know I am a disgusting asshole. I’m sorry, but I probably won’t change. We never have to speak again if you don’t want to. Are you happy now?”

Lance takes one step toward Keith, grabs his shoulder, and turns him around.

“No. Why were you so mean to me when we were younger? Why are you acting like you like me now?”

“Did you not hear what I said? I am a disgusting asshole. I always have been. I always will be. And it’s always been fun to mess with you.”

Lance lets go of his arm.

“Was it fun calling me a faggot too?”

Keith eyes widen and he swallows hard before answering.  

“I was hoping you didn’t remember that.”

“Oh, yes, I would totally forget someone saying that to me. And the kicker is that you understand exactly how it feels to have that word used against you.”

Keith takes a step backward.

“What kind of sick freak likes to hurt their best friend’s younger brother? And then you have been sexually harassing me.”

“As if you didn’t like it. You think I’m hot. Don’t act like there isn’t a part of you that wants me to bend you over right here, right now.”

“You are disgusting. I never want to see you again, you sick fuck.”

“Fine. I do regret not getting a taste though. I bet you are a good fuck, aren’t you? I bet that guy from the coffee shop knows.”

“You are pathetic.”

“Does he give you free coffee in exchange for blow jobs?”

“Pathetic, Keith. It is no wonder you have nothing.”

Keith is quiet.

“No one even likes you. You can catch a football and literally that is the only reason people tolerate you.”

Keith runs his hands through his hair and looks down.

“Seriously, a fake relationship with someone who wants out, she told me, Anthony, your best friend who thinks so lowly of you he doesn’t even want you near his baby brother.”

Keith takes a step backward and Lance can smell blood.

“And your own parents don’t even love you.”

It is a shot in the dark to a certain extent. Lance doesn’t know much about the Kogane family. He had seen them a few times, quiet people who didn’t mingle that much at football luncheons. All he really knew came from Nyma.

But, from the look on Keith’s face, he hit a bullseye.

Keith turns and basically runs. It takes until he is entering the back door of the house before Lance starts to regret what he said. He takes off after him, but can’t find him once entering the house.

“Keith!” he yells.

He goes to Keith’s room, imagining that to be his most likely destination, but finds it empty like before.

He runs back downstairs, calling out for Keith until someone points him in the direction of the front door.

“Yeah, man, Keith just ran out the front door. Did something happen?”

Lance runs past them and blows through the front door just in time to see Keith peeling out of the driveway at top speed. The squeal of the tires drown out his shouts for him to come back.

He watches the car disappear down the street before feeling a hand on his shoulder.

“Hey, what’s up? Did he do something to you?”

It is Anthony, eyes narrowed in concern.

“Yes. No. It is nothing. Do you know where he would be going?”

“Lance, can we go to my room and talk?”

“Why did you tell Keith to stay away from me?”

Anthony looks surprised.

“Keith is not the type of guy you want to get involved with.”

“Why didn’t you ever have a conversation with me about that before talking to him?”

“Does that mean you do want to be with him? Because, I won’t allow that.”

“It is my decision.”

“Lance, you don’t understand. You don’t know Keith like I do. I have seen him sleep his way through the entire tri-state area. Keith is my bro, but I would never allow him to be with you.”

“How many women have you slept with? And isn’t a bit hypocritical to say someone is like your brother, but then deem then unfit to be with your actual brother?”

“Not as many people as he has. And I don’t care if it’s hypocritical. I am not going to let him fuck my little brother. Do you think he actually likes you, Lance? As soon as he gets what he wants, he leaves.”

“I know that, but you should have discussed it with me first, Anthony. No one ever tells me anything. I didn’t even know Keith was gay until recently. You knew all along didn’t you?”

“I didn’t think it was my place to out him to anyone without his permission.”

Lance can’t argue with that. His adrenaline is pumping now and he recognizes that starting a fight with Anthony right now is probably not what he really wants to do. He takes a few deep breaths and bites back some of the attacks that are brewing in his head.

“Look, I get that you were looking out for me. But you need to discuss stuff that concerns me with me. I am an adult now, not your little baby brother. I am going to go home now. I am upset and want to be by myself. Ok?”

“If Keith did anything to you….”

“He didn’t.”  

“Ok. Go home. Calm down. We can talk more later, ok?”

Lance nods and gets in his own car. As he is driving away, Anthony motions to him to roll down his window.

“You will always be my little baby brother, by the way!” he yells.

Lance waves and drives away.

**[Message Sent: 1/7/2017 9:07pm]**

Lance: I think I fucked up. I said something really mean to Keith.

Pidge: Yeah?

Lance: Like, below the belt mean.

Pidge: What did you say? Because Keith kind of deserves it.

Lance: I told him his parents don’t love him

Pidge: Damn

Lance: That isn’t like me. I don’t say stuff like that to people.

Pidge: What did he say back?

Lance: Nothing. He just ran.

Pidge. Damn

Lance: I want to apologize for it. None of the other stuff I said. But that part, yes.

Pidge: Just text him.

Lance: I might do that

 

Lance takes a long bubble bath first, trying to calm himself down, trying to find his frame of reference. It doesn’t make him happy like it usually does. Keith’s face keeps playing in his mind over and over again.

When he gets out, he hovers over Keith’s contact, titled Unknown. He could text him. Or he could just let it go. What did he owe Keith anyway? Why did he care if Keith’s feelings were hurt?

He decides to sleep on it and, day by day, the urge to apologize fades. Nearly a week later, just when classes are starting back at his own university, he opens the Unknown text message chain and briefly reads through the messages.

**[Message Received: 10/21/2016 10:15am]**

Unknown: Did you jerk off thinking about me last night?

**[Message Received: 10/28/2016 1:15am]**

Unknown: Do you need someone to tuck you in? You were pretty terrified of the obviously fake, not scary, cheap shit at that house

**[Message Received: 12/2/2016 11:53pm]**

Unknown: You are taking me to get the coffee you owe me tomorrow. I’ll be at your place around 11. Don’t bring anyone else.

**[Message Received: 12/9/2016 10:37am]**

Unknown: I had fun last night.

 

Then he clicks delete and goes to meet Hunk for some Chinese food.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RIP Keith's hair


	10. Quest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically a big game of phone tag

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your reads, kudos, comments, and patience :)

In the blink of an eye, it is spring break and Lance finds himself back at home, pulling out his summer wardrobe. It isn’t quite hot enough for his short and tank collection to make an appearance, but it is getting there.

After the confrontation with Keith, he had sat down and had a long conversation with Anthony about it. It felt good to unload on Anthony though he kept some of the worst bullying moments to himself. The conversation had ended with a hug and, since that time, Lance has not put a terrible amount of thought into Keith. Though, as the months pass, he occasionally finds himself looking for his now deleted texts or wondering why his brother never seems to mention his name anymore. Lance is curious and ignores any motive inside of him that goes beyond curiosity. So, he finally decides to do the previously unthinkable and bring Keith up on his own.

He makes his move on the first day of spring break while sitting and eating breakfast with his mom, dad, and Anthony. He casually pushes some eggs across the plate with his fork.

“So,” he begins. _Be cool Lance, Be cool._ He tells himself.

“So, what has Keith been up to lately?”

The room stills a bit. He senses his mom and dad glancing at him before quickly looking away. It isn’t that they know most of what happened, but they weren’t stupid enough to miss that something went down. He knew Anthony had filled them in a bit. His mom had made one pointed comment about knowing that he can talk to them about anything, but had otherwise respected the fact that he didn’t really want to discuss Keith with them.   

His brother barely looks up from his phone.  

“Oh, Keith? Didn’t you hear?”

 _Oh god,_ Lance thinks.

“No, no one tells me anything, ever.”

“He never showed up for Spring classes. I texted with him once and he just said he was taking a break.”  

“A break? And that is the last time you spoke to him?”

“Yep. Doesn’t answer his phone.”

“And you aren’t worried?”

“Why would I be worried? He is an adult.”

“If I didn’t hear from Pidge for more than a day, I would be calling the cops.”

“That is different. And he isn’t missing. He told me he was taking a break. Honestly, he needed to sort his shit anyway.”

“Anthony…” their dad warned.

“Sort his stuff.”

Lance puts his fork down. There is a queasy feeling settling deep in his stomach.  

“Ok, I am done. I am going to go upstairs.” he stands up quickly, thanks his mom for breakfast, and then throws his dishes in the sink.

He pretends no one is looking at him as he runs up the stairs.

There is absolutely no reason why he should care that Keith apparently dropped out of school. Or that he isn’t talking to his best and, really, close to only friend.

Close…

Lance remembers that afternoon with Nyma and pulls out his phone.

**[Message Sent]**

Lance: Hi Nyma its Lance. Just wondering if you have heard from Keith lately? Or if you know where he is?

I mean, college isn’t for everyone, but as far as Lance knew Keith was making good grades. Anthony and Keith also attend a good college, a known one that would help after graduation. Dropping out? He paces nervously across his room.

And surely he had nothing to do with this. He couldn’t be held responsible at all, even if he did tell Keith that no one loved or even liked him. Even if he did bring in his parents, like an asshole.

And just because Anthony hasn’t heard from him lately doesn’t mean that no one has. Nyma probably talks to him all the time and would text him back, soon. Very soon. Then he can just go back to planning his summer wardrobe.

He doesn’t receive a message back from Nyma.

By that night, Lance convinces himself that something is wrong, because that is what he does. He worries. Maybe he just wants to talk to Keith one last time and tell him that he doesn’t regret anything he said except for the parents part.

He is plotting his next move when he realizes that he is being really stupid. He still has Keith’s phone number. He deleted the texts, but not the contact information.

He considers his words.

Hey Keith how are you?

No

Lance here…

No

Hi asshole where are you?

No

It’s Lance, why are you doing this?

No

Only losers drop out of college

No (and untrue)

Your parents probably do love you.

No

Hey, some horrible, masochistic part of myself misses you, you dick.

Really, really no.

 _Oh god this is a disaster_ , Lance thinks to himself. _Keep it simple._

**[Message Sent]**

Lance: Hey, it’s Lance. What’s up?

Lance: Can we talk? Or…text for a minute?

Ok, this will do. He just needs Keith to respond and he can apologize and then wash his hands of him forever.

By the next day, neither Keith nor Nyma had answered his texts.

Lance lives in a digital world and not receiving a text back in 24 hours was akin to years of no contact. Even if the answer is fuck off, he wants…needs an answer. He spams Pidge with worried texts, relieved that he has such an understanding friend who puts up with his bullshit. He knows Pidge doesn’t even want him reaching out to Keith.

He decides to go for a walk to clear his head in the beautiful, warm weather. He tells himself it is just a walk, but quickly finds himself on the street leading to Keith’s house. He had never been in Keith’s house. He just remembers all those times they picked Keith up or dropped him off. Keith would always wait on the curb or let himself into the house. Sometimes he would be playing basketball in the driveway when they showed up. As Lance reaches the house, he sees the basketball hoop and familiar row of flowered bushes across the front. He feels calmer. Surely Keith is just inside this house, moping. He wouldn’t be the first or last young person to take a semester off. As long as he showed up for summer practice, it wouldn’t even necessarily mean he was off the football team.  

He knocks on the front door. He waits a moment and sees someone pull open the curtain from the front window just a bit and look at him before hearing the deadbolt slide open.

Before he can speak, Keith’s mom opens the door just a crack and says,

“We are not interested in buying anything,” and starts to shut the door. 

“No! Mrs. Kogane! Wait! I am Keith’s…”

Enemy? Victim? Classmate? Friend? Acquaintance? Space Ranger Partner?  

He panics trying to come up with what he is to Keith. He decides that friend would be the least weird option to say to a parent and opens his mouth again.  

“Keith isn’t here,” she interrupts and then begins to close the door again.

“Wait…Do you have some way for me to contact him? Or do you know where he is? It is important.”

Mrs. Kogane opens the door wider here and steps out a bit. She stares Lance up and down in a slow lingering glance. She is a beautiful woman and Lance sees a lot of Keith in her. She is petite, but tall with cheekbones that could probably cut paper. She wore nicer clothes than most moms would wear for just sitting around the house, unless she has plans for later. There was a cream blouse that was obviously expensive and tapered blue pants with jewelry that Lance assumed to be real. The diamonds in her tennis bracelet glittered as she pushed a bit of her dark hair behind her ear. She had the same cold, distanced look that he had seen on Keith’s face sometimes. 

“Keith no longer lives here. Whatever it is, I am sure you can find him yourself if it is so important. And you…you are not welcome here.” Then she shut the door in his face.

Lance stands there for a few moments, mouth open wide. He was used to his mom and Pidge’s mom and pretty much every mom he knew being warm and welcoming and helpful. Furthermore, moms usually loved him. He was polite and made good grades and everyone loved his parents. He cannot process the exchange that just happened.

He tries to give Mrs. Kogane the benefit of the doubt in that maybe something went down that he didn’t know about, but he remembers Nyma’s words about Keith’s parents and he can’t help but dislike the woman.   

He gets home and stares at his phone, willing Nyma or Keith to respond.

He thinks about Keith that night during winter break before they had argued, hunched over on the rock, looking at the night sky.

_Have you ever thought about just disappearing? Just walking into the wilderness and not coming back? Or, maybe you get a trillion light years away and just…let go instead?_

His words echo in Lance’s head. He swears to god if Keith did anything stupid, stupider than dropping out, he would kick his ass. He would find his dead body and kick it. A vague sense of anger takes him over. He feels guilty, but why should he feel responsible for Keith Kogane? Why should he care?

By that night, Lance had gone full crazy stalker. He gets on every piece of social media known to man looking up Keith’s accounts. He has a twitter and a facebook as far as Lance can see, neither of which have been active in months. His userpic for both is a football. Lance rolls his eyes before messaging a couple of his friends who seem active on his timelines. A few respond, but they all have the same story as Anthony.

He tells himself it isn’t like Keith is missing. Like, actually missing. He told Anthony he was taking a break. Surely if he was actually missing his parents would be worried. Or Nyma. Nyma had his back.  

**[Message Sent]**

Lance: Nyma, can you at least confirm Keith is like, alive?

It is two more agonizing days before he receives an answer.

**[Message Received]**

Nyma: Hi Lance. I heard from Keith a few weeks ago. Keith probably doesn’t want to hear from you though.

Lance: Where is he? What is he doing? Why did he drop out of school?

Nyma: Not my place. You have his number. Call him if you are so concerned. 

Lance: Are you concerned?

Nyma: Yes, but I also care about him.

Lance paces around his room for a few minutes, trying to decide his next course of action. Keith is fine, as of a few weeks ago. Nyma probably knows where he is. So do his parents. There really isn’t any other reason for him to be involved.

 _Except for the fact that you want to apologize. For the parent comment_ , his conscience supplies him.  

He finally dials Keith’s number, still saved as Unknown in his contact list. He holds his breath as it rings through to the voicemail. It is one of those lame voicemails that has an automated voice except for the fill-in-the-blank name-a very bored sounding Keith saying his own name. He hangs up without leaving a message.

He tries one more text.

**[Message Sent]**

Lance: JFC Keith what are you doing?

When another week passes, Lance assumes it is over. He tried. He wanted to say sorry. He doesn’t care if Keith wants to run away or ruin his life. It is no longer his problem.

 

**********

_Two Weeks Later_

 

Lance’s world is covered in a shimmering mist as he walks through a floating forest. The trees are blue though, and wispy like weeping willows. He pushes the delicate branches, the strands of gentle leaves out of the way, walking toward a beautiful shining light in the distance. He reaches a clearing with a chest in the middle, large, the color of chocolate, and somehow glimmering. The light shines directly on it like a beacon calling Lance home. He reaches for the chest and sees a russet seal securing the lid. It has a twirling design. He rubs his finger over it and then lifts it, breaking the seal. He reaches his hand inside the chest and finds pieces, building blocks, shining and transforming under his very hands. He wants to make something, something great, something that didn’t exist before. He begins gathering the building blocks when

_I've been here all night_

_I've been here all day_

_And boy, got me walkin' side to side_

Lance jerks awake, groaning. He lets his entire ringtone play through before gathering himself enough to pick up his phone. He frowns. It is 2:14AM and he feels disorientated after being pulled out of what felt like the deepest sleep of his life. He sees that it was an unknown number, assumes it is a wrong number, and rolls back over.

_I've been here all night_

_I've been here all day_

_And boy, got me walkin' side to side_

He looks at the phone again. With a start, he realizes that it doesn’t say unknown number, but rather Unknown.

“Oh. OH,” Lance says as he finally picks up the phone.

“Keith?”

“Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaance”

Lance cringes.

“Are you…”

“What do you want?” The words come out slurred.

“Oh my god, you drunk dialed me. And what do you mean what do I want? You called me.”

“No no no. You have been looking for me. You texted me. You…you talked to my parents.”

“I…”

Suddenly Lance has no idea why he was so insistent on finding Keith. Apologizing doesn’t feel like the right move at the moment with a drunk Keith at two in the morning.

“Why did you drop out of school?”

“Why do you care?”

“I don’t.”

“Good.”

“God, you are still so annoying.”

“You’re annoying.”

“What are you, 12?”

“You’re 12.”

“Jesus, Keith. Sober up. Maybe we can talk later.”

“Why would you want to talk later?”

“I don’t.”

“Ok, then we’re good?”

“I wanted to say sorry.”

“For?”

“Saying shitty stuff to you last time we talked. You know, about your parents…”

“It’s fine. You didn’t lie.”

There is an uncomfortable silence. If this were anyone else, Lance knows how he would response. But it is not. It’s Keith.

“My mom was all upset you showed up at the house. I am assuming that was you. She said you were dressed like a girl.” Keith giggles here, the sound unnatural coming from him.  

“I was not.”

“Were you wearing nail polish?”

“Probably?”

“That equals girl to my mom. She is sensitive about that stuff.”

“Why?”

“She doesn’t want the neighbors knowing she has a homo for a son.”

“That’s fucked up.”

“Sure.”

Lance is silent. He doesn’t know what to say. He is angry, but surprisingly not at Keith for once. He remembers the look on Mrs. Kogane’s face as she looked him up and down, probably taking in the nail polish and maybe slightly too stylish clothing. He grits his teeth.

“I hated your stupid smile,” Keith breaks the silence.

“Excuse me?”

“Your stupid smile. Sitting there at the table. Hi my name’s Lance!”

He does a poor imitation of Lance’s voice for the last part.

“I have literally no idea what you are talking about.”

“The first time we met. Your stupid smile. Do you remember?”

“I remember being nice to you and then you broke something of mine and laughed about it.”

“You were so fucking horrible sitting at that table. Smiling.”

“My face pisses you off that much?”

“Then you had a little kitty eraser that you used in Math. That horrible kitty eraser.”

“Are you sure you are just drunk?”

“Sometimes when you are thinking really hard you stick your tongue out of the side of your mouth a little. Did you know that? I hate it.”

“No one asked you to look at me.”

“Then you grew out your hair a little bit. And you used to have this little clip to hold your bangs back sometimes. It was adorable and I hated it and I hate you.”

Lance sticks his face in the pillow for a moment, taking a moment to collect himself.

“I don’t think you hate me at all.”

“No, never, not for a second.”

“Keith, you are so messed up.”

“I know.”

In the background, Lance can hear a muffled voice.

“Hey, dude, can I take a shower?”

“Yeah whatever,” Keith says back.

“Are you with someone right now?” Lance is suddenly even more uncomfortable.  

“Yeah I guess so.”

“Your boyfriend?”

Keith laughs loudly, louder than necessary.

“I don’t have boyfriends. Ever.”

“Why?”

“Because that would make me gay.”

“Jesus, Keith.”

“I’m kidding. It’s a joke.”

“It isn’t funny.”

“Sorry. I’m sorry. I don’t like him. His name is something…Thad? Tad? Chad? God, Lance never have sex with someone whose name is Chad.”

“Uh…”

“Yeah sure whatever use my shampoo,” Keith says, obviously not to him.  

“Maybe you should stop saying shit about him when he can still hear you?”

“He doesn’t care he got what he came for.”

“Where are you?”

“In an apartment.”

“But like, where?”

“Why? You want to come over?”

“God, no.”

“Then it doesn’t matter where.”

“Keith…”

“Lance…”

There is a pause.

“I don’t even know what to say” Lance is honest with himself. Why did he need to talk to Keith again?  

“Stupid…fucking eraser. Tongue. Sitting in math. My name’s Lance. Look at me. I’m Lance.”

“Keith??”

All Lance can hear now is rhythmic breathing. Keith doesn’t respond again.

Lance is tired and has a 9am class the next day, but spends most of the night curled over his pillow, fighting with himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone has a good week (a good Christmas is you celebrate, if not then just a general good week!).


	11. Expression

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith and Lance talk. A lot. Also, lingerie makes a comeback.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was in a weird mood with this one and it is basically a "montage" of phone conversations they have, some serious, some stupid. Each break notes a different phone conversation on a different day.
> 
> Also, some sexual content? I am not sure how overt I should be with the warnings/disclaimers. It is really tame compared to seemingly everything else on AO3 though :p

 

“…and then this kid Pidge doesn’t like went, he made some kind of comment about girls one time that was straight up 1950s, anyway, he went and bombed. It was glorious. Like, you could tell no one was interested in what he was saying. It was awful and amazing.”

“Serves him right.”

“Right? But, you should have seen Pidge. I have never been prouder. I knew she would get first place.”

“She was always really smart.”

“I wish I had a T-shirt with her face on it or something just so people know I am with her. Like, that is my friend. She just won an award for her amazing bio project. Or maybe a flag. Do you think she would mind if I had a flag with her face on it that I could wave when I am at one of her things?”

Lance hears laughter on the other end and smiles. This has been happening for the last two weeks or so. And, by this, he means Keith and him acting like teenagers on the phone. The night after Keith drunk called him, he had called Lance back to apologize. That had somehow turned into near daily phone calls, usually at night before bed, at least for Lance. Mostly, Lance talks. Keith isn’t much of a talker, but he is a surprisingly good listener. And Lance can talk when given the chance. A few times, Lance had checked his phone afterward and realized he had talked for over an hour with Keith just offering up the occasional affirmation or encouraging question.

Lance isn’t sure what is going on with him or Keith or why it happens or why he enjoys the conversations so much. He thinks part of him is curious. He wants to know what makes Keith tick and, somewhere along the way, he revises his earlier assumption of pure “evil” to something a bit more complex.   

Though Lance usually lays in bed at night and talks to Keith before bed, Keith sometimes has plans for later that night. Sometimes he is drunk, many times he is getting together with some guy. Lance isn’t a puritan, but he can tell Keith isn’t in a good place. Lance gently prods him about what he is doing in life. Keith had moved into one of Nyma’s parents’ rental properties for some reason. He is paying for stuff out of some sort of inheritance money a grandparent had left him.

Getting Keith to communicate is hot or cold with little in-between. He is either ridiculously honest or completely closed off. He would admit things that made Lance blush furiously or cringe one night and then the next shut down into monosyllabic answers. Lance learns to press hard when Keith is feeling particularly open. He gets used to hearing his voice on the phone, his laughter, his gentle teasing tone as Lance tells him about his day. It starts to feel normal.

 

*********

 

“I can only talk for a little while tonight.”

“Why?” Lance tries to sound like he doesn't care. 

“Some guy is coming over later.”

“Some guy? A boyfriend?”

“You are so cute sometimes. I don’t have boyfriends.”

“Do you think sleeping around that much is safe? You could get an STD. Or someone could turn out to be an axe murderer or rob you.”

“Don’t care.”

“What do you get out of doing this?”

“Feels good.”

“Yes, sex feels good, but there are reasons why people don’t sleep around all the time.”

“Not just that. It feels good to be that close to someone, you know? To hold someone close to you, to kiss someone, to feel their heartbeat.”

 “Keith, you can do that with a boyfriend.”

“Who would want to be boyfriends with me? Can you imagine?”

“I am sure someone wants to be.”

“What do I have going for me?”

“Your ass.”

“Lance. You sound like me right now. Also, I didn’t know you liked my ass that much.”

“Shut up, I like asses.”

“Like me?”

“I hate you.”

“Ok, what do I have going for me other than my ass.”  

“Sometimes you aren’t a terrible person too. Like, you can be alright.”

Keith laughs.

Lance lets a bit of silence stretch between them.

“Does it make you happy? Sleeping around?”

“That is a complicated question.”

“No, it’s not.”

“I better go now.

*********

 

“Have you ever jerked off to me?”

“Is that a joke?” Keith replies, after a sharp intake of air that Lance overanalyzes.

“What? No…”

“Like, lots. All the time.”

“What??”

“You heard me.”

“When…did you start?”

“High school. Remember that one time at the car wash when the Soccer team was trying to raise money for something? You were there to help Pidge.”

“Jesus.”

“Jesus was not on my mind that day.”

“You remember the first time?”

“I actually felt guilty, you know, masturbating to my best friend’s younger brother. So, I didn’t do it. But you wet in those shorts, shit. I was with Tom and Ricky and Aiden from the team and they didn’t know, you know. That I was into guys. It was one of the hardest times ever to try to pretend to be straight.”

“Oh god.”

“Like, imagine me trying to care about the boobs of those girls when you were bending over the hood of a car.”

“You are a pig.”

“I didn’t even make it home. I pulled over in an abandoned parking lot, the old Kmart that went out of business.”

“You could have been arrested. That is like, indecent exposure or something.”

“I was careful. I seriously didn’t choke it to anything else for like, months afterward. I had an entire fantasy in my head.”

“That is so gross…what was the fantasy?”

“See, no one else was there, because that would be weird. But, you wash my car while I watch you. Then, when I am supposed to pay, I forgot my wallet. So, I had no money and you said that I would have to pay another way. Then I bang you.”

“That is…that doesn’t even make sense. That isn’t how those fantasies work.”

“It’s a fantasy Lance, it doesn’t have to make sense.”

“So instead of money for the job I performed I was fine with just your dick?”

“Yep!”

“Your ego is unbelievable.”

“Again, it is a fantasy Lance.”

“Is that the only one you had about me?”

“The most unique, yes. I stopped thinking about you for awhile once we hit college. It was easier to meet guys there, guys who let me do stuff to them in person. Then, that party happened, remember, at your parents’ house? and…the lingerie. That blue thing. Jesus Lance. Do you wear it a lot?”

“Depends on what you mean.”

“Like, lingerie?”

“Full on lingerie no. Sometimes I do wear underwear most people think is meant for women during the week. That designation is silly though. How can a scrap of fabric be “for women” or “for men?”

“Do you wear it for other people?”

“I wear what I want for myself.”

“I know, I know. But like, have you worn it for someone else? A man?”

“No.”

“Never?”

“I…I haven’t…no I just haven’t.”

“Would you?”

“Yes. Of course I would.”

“I would do anything.”

“Do anything for what?”

“To see you dressed up.”

“Anything?”

“Yes.”

“Literally anything?”

“Pretty much.”

“Would you beg?”

There is a moment of silence and he hears a slight hitch in Keith’s breath on the other end.

“Yes. Is that what you want? Do you want me to beg?”

“I don’t want anything.”

“Because I would. I would get on my hands and knees for you, kiss your feet.”

“You sick pervert.”

“I am.”

Lance hears Keith’s breathing speeding up and feels a little excited. He hates himself for it.

“Are you touching yourself?”

“Maybe.”

“Stop.”

“What?”

“Stop. Don’t touch yourself. I will never speak to you again if you do.”

Keith whines. “Both hands are above the covers, you little sadist. Do you fantasize about wearing it for other people? Do you have a fantasy?”

Lance takes a deep breath and takes the plunge. 

“Sometimes I think about wearing something pretty underneath my regular clothes. I would let you know I was wearing it, maybe just tell you, maybe give you just a glimpse, and then spend all day pretending like nothing had happened.”

“Yeah?”

“Tease you with it a bit. Maybe let you see a little when my shirt rides up a bit. Or “accidentally” rub against you during the day, make sure I am the only thing you think about all day.”

“Lance…”

“But if you touch me, it’s over. You go home alone. Do not pass go, do not collect $200.”

“And if I was patient?”

“Then, when we got home, if you were a good boy, I would let you do whatever you wanted. Let you punish me for being naughty all day.”

There is silence on the other end.  

“You better not be touching yourself right now.”

“Lance, god, why.”

“Because we aren’t having phone sex.”

“We aren’t?”

“Where are your hands?”

“I’m not. I am not touching myself. I won’t.”

“What type of lingerie do you want to see me in?”

“That one, that one you had before. But others too. Always blue. I like your stomach so I wouldn’t cover that though. Sometimes black though. But mostly blue. I also think you would look good with that strappy thing that goes on your hips. God, you have nice hips. Can I touch myself now?”

“No.”

“I hate you.”

“No you don’t.”               

**********

 

“I think I blamed you for making me gay.”

Lance spits out the water in his mouth. They had been quiet for a little while watching Cupcake Wars together and it isn't what he expects to hear out of Keith. 

“That is literally the stupidest thing I have ever heard come out of your mouth and that means something given that it’s **you.** ”

“I know, I know. I went through a pretty hardcore denial stage and some guys made that harder.”

“Like me.”

“Like you. I think you were the first boy I liked. Or was attracted to. Like, whenever I saw you I wanted to hit you and kiss you. It was very confusing for awhile.”

Lance oscillates between being flattered and angry.

“Lucky me. So you basically never matured past kindergarten flirting?”

“I know.”

“So you decided to hurt me because you thought I was cute.”

“I guess I did. It was hard, Lance. You didn’t have to hide who you were. You always seemed so….accepted. I was angry that you were gay and fine with it. I hated myself for it. I think I hurt you sometimes because I wanted to hurt myself. Remember that time when I said…that to you?”

“Yes.”

“I kissed someone on the men’s soccer team. I thought we were vibing, but he…he acted like I was some disgusting freak. I am still not sure why he didn’t tell anyone. I hated myself for giving in, for trying to kiss him. For not being straight. Then there you were, underneath the bleachers, with your cute phone with a pink puppy charm and…”

Keith pauses.

“I am disgusting aren’t I?”

“A little bit, yes.”

“You were right. You know. About my parents not loving me.”

There is an uneasy silence as Lance gathers himself.

“I never should have said that. It was cruel and…not me. I am sorry. And, your parents…I can’t and I won’t say that they love you no matter what because I don’t know what your relationship is like with them. Some parents suck, Keith. Sometimes you have to find a family outside of your blood relatives. And you do have people who consider you family, who love you. Nyma thinks of you as her best friend. She would trust you with her life. You need to call her more often. My brother…my brother spent years of his life trying to help you. I think he thinks of you as another little brother. So you have two people rooting for you.”

“Two people? Only two?”

There is a moment of pained silence.

“It could be more. You don’t let people in, Keith. You don’t let people see you. And I get it, I do. It’s hard. I understand why you have done this, kept people out, protected yourself. But some of your decisions are on you. And you have been cruel, but you can change, I believe that.”  

There is a pause.

“Two people…maybe three people?” Keith’s meaning isn’t lost on Lance. “Do you love me?”  

Lance goes completely still at Keith's question. He had expected this at some point, but it still leaves him speechless.

It is the wrong question. Lance leans his head back and looks up at his ceiling. The right question would be, can he forgive Keith? Lance thinks about his family and how caring and warm they are. He sees his brothers, his cousins, his parents, spreading around him in a protective circle of warmth. Lance thinks about Pidge and her unquestioning and unwavering support of him and who he is.

Then, he thinks about Keith, rigid and pale between his own parents on football reception days. There is no warmth there. He sees Keith, moving from country to country, nearly friendless except for Anthony who still had been kept at arm’s length and Nyma who was a fake relationship because Keith wouldn’t allow himself to have a real one. Lance gets it. He feels sorry for Keith. But can he forgive him?

“I don’t love you,” Lance responds finally. Keith is quiet on the other end.

“I barely know you. You hurt me, a lot. I am not exaggerating when I say probably more than anyone else in my entire life. The high school stuff is one thing. But then you made me feel really uncomfortable and disrespected even recently.”  

Keith is still quiet.  

“But I think what really bothers, what really gets me, is that we have been bonding, right? We watched Naruto together. We told each other about our first kisses. We actually kind of have chemistry, don’t we? But you know what you still haven’t done, even now? You haven’t even said you are sorry for any of it, Keith. Not even once.” 

“I…I haven’t? I haven’t…”

His voice broke a bit and Lance tries to keep his voice even. 

“Like, why is it so hard to just say you fucked up and you are sorry?”  

“I’m sorry.”

Lance was silent.

“Lance, I am sorry”

“I wish I could rewind time but I can’t and I am sorry.”

Lance hangs up the phone.

**********

 

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m tired of hearing it now.”

“Will you ever believe me?”

“I don’t know.”

“Why do you call me?”

“I don’t know.”

“What are we doing?”

“I don’t know.”

“I am a terrible person.”

“You are.” Lance sighs. 

“Tell me what to do to make myself better.”

“It doesn’t work that way. I can’t tell you how to change yourself for the better. It isn’t like a checklist someone else provides for you.”

“I’m lost. I don’t know what I am doing. Please, help me.”

“What do you want? What do you really want out of life?”

There is silence for so long that Lance almost breaks it himself.

“I’m tired of pretending to be something I’m not. I want to be someone who has friends who accept me for who I am. I want to be a good friend and maybe a good boyfriend for someone one day.”

“Ok. That is a good start.”

“I guess I need to have a chat with my parents.”

“Yes.”

“I need to talk to your brother and be totally honest.”

“Yes.”

“I know we can’t start over, obviously. But will you let me try to be your friend?”

_Can I forgive Keith?_

“Yes.”

“I am going to the best friend you have ever had.”

“Nope, that is Pidge and will always be Pidge.”

“Ok, second best friend.”

“Well, you have quite a ways to go to beat Hunk too and are we counting brothers as friends?”

“Ok, sixth best friend!”

“Seriously though. You can’t act like you did before. That isn’t being a friend.”

“I won’t. I won’t kiss or touch you ever again. Unless you ask me to.”

 

**********

 

“There is a spider in my bath tub.”

“So?”

“I don’t like them. Come get it out for me.” Lance huddles in his bathroom, naked, clutching a towel.

“Just turn on the water and kill it. Or get a broom depending on how big it is.”

“Keith that is mean. It is alive and just looking for a home.”

“Oh my god.”

"Maybe it has a little family." 

"Kill me now." 

“Maybe I can get it to latch onto the broom and then I can throw it outside?”

“I would put it outside for you if I were there.”

“But you aren’t. By the way, are we still on for Saturday?”

“Yes.”

“Oh god, it just moved. Its legs!!! It’s so big!”  

“You are like, a thousand times bigger than it. It is more scared of you than you are of it.”

“I hate you.”

“No you don’t”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 18 days until Season 2!


	12. Melting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance and Keith hang out. Pidge is unhappy.  
> Also, this is what they are looking at in the second half of the chapter, if it is unclear. 
> 
> https://thumbs.dreamstime.com/z/historic-katahdin-iron-works-remains-s-blast-furnace-maine-usa-33281996.jpg

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this AU, Pidge is not related to Matt :p

“Do I look hot?”

“Yes.”

“You didn’t even look.”

“You always look hot.”

“You don’t say that like you mean it.”

“Lance, you look fine. Here. I am looking.”

“I don’t want to look fine. I want to look hot.”

“Fine, I would bang you if I liked guys and you weren’t basically my brother.”

“Really?”

Pidge groans, rubbing her hand down her face. She had endured a half hour of watching Lance parade out various outfits, most of which looked pretty similar if he is being honest with himself. Which he isn’t.

A knock on the door interrupts the process.

He opens the door to see Keith. It has been months since he has actually seen Keith, only having phone conversations. Lance notes that he looks…actually pretty shitty. He looks pale and puffy and has bags under his eyes that hadn’t existed before. Lance makes a mental note to nag him to eat better, drink more water and less alcohol.

Keith does look genuinely happy when he sees Lance though, smiling big.

“You look great.”

“As usual, right?” Lance answers, hoping it seemed like his outfit is just something he had thrown on that morning.  

Lance can feel Pidge’s eye rolling from the doorway and steps aside to let Keith in.

“We are going to go in a minute, but let me grab some of my stuff first.”

“That is fine.” Keith turns to Pidge. “Hi Pidge. How are you?”

Pidge stares at Keith, expressionless.

“Oh please. You don’t actually care how I am.”

“Just being polite.”

“Save it for Lance.”

“Alright guys, today is a fun day, save the attitude for somewhere else,” Lance says cheerfully.

“Can I speak to you alone for a minute?” Keith says to Pidge while glancing out of the corner of his eyes at Lance.  

Lance swallows and looks at the two people standing before him. The air is tense and Lance can practically feel the electricity shooting between the two. Pidge looks at Lance before nodding.

“Just sit here for a moment-we will go into your room.”

Lance begins to open twitter on his phone. He knows that Pidge is unhappy with his decision to be friends with Keith. He doesn’t blame her. She isn’t the one having long phone conversations about life with him. She is also more capable of rejecting someone compared to Lance who likes to believe in second chances and happy endings. Lance looks at Keith and sees someone with potential. Pidge sees someone who will inevitably hurt him again.

He fiddles with his phone. He knows that he should sit here and hope for the best. It isn’t like they will get into a fist fight or something. But, the other side of him, the curious side, perhaps even the nosy little brother part of him, awakens. He tip toes over to the bedroom door, and leans his head against the door.

“…know you don’t like me, but I am trying here. I want to be Lance’s friend and…”

“I don’t care. I don’t trust you.”

“Can you at least tolerate me for Lance?”

“Yes, because I care about and respect Lance’s wishes. But if you hurt him in any way, then I will hurt you.”

There is silence on the other end and Lance understands exactly how intimidating Pidge can be when she is angry. Keith is about twice her size, but a Pidge threat carries weight.

“Fine. Send his brothers to beat me up or do whatever you want. If I hurt Lance, then I deserve it.”

“Fine.”

“Fine.”

Lance snorts at Keith’s imagining of Pidge’s revenge. Pidge isn’t the violent type. She wouldn’t get someone to beat Keith up. She would beat him up psychologically. Where other people may be inclined to break faces, she breaks souls. One time, she had somehow loaded a virus on one of their friend’s computers that manipulated his targeted ads and spam emails into really specific and strange results that made it seem like his computer was spying on him. By the end of a month, he was paranoid and freaking out. And this is what she did to someone she likes. Lance can’t even imagine what fresh hell she would dream up if she really wanted to get revenge on someone.

Lance hears steps, interrupting his thoughts, and runs to the end of the hallway, leaning against the wall and attempting to look casual. The door pops open.

“Oh hey guys, ready to go? I’m just chilling.”

When they are getting into the car, he grabs Pidge’s arm.

“I know you don’t like him, but at least try to play nice?”

Pidge nods begrudgingly.

Lance drives with Pidge beside him and Keith in the backseat. He pulls out of his complex, putting on some music, and finally takes a deep breath. He looks at Pidge and smiles.

“Keith, there is something you need to know before we get there.”

“Yeah?”

“I mean, it isn’t a big deal, but I just need to warn you…”

“Just spit it out.”

“Shiro, that guy from before who owns Kerberos? You remember him?”

“Yeah….”

“We started dating a few weeks ago.”

The silence was deafening with only Twenty-One Pilots playing softly in the background to break it. Lance, as safely as he can, watches Keith’s face in the rearview mirror. His face tenses just a bit, but Keith has surprising control over it. His eyes close for a moment and Lance hears him take a long, slow breath.

“Oh?” He finally says.

“Yeah. We had been flirting for awhile, but he finally made the move.”

“That is nice.”

“Yeah, it is nice. He is a great guy.”

“That is great.”

They drive in silence for another minute or two before the very quiet Pidge who was intently staring out the window during the previous exchange suddenly cracks up in laughter.

“Oh my god, you pretending to be happy for him,” she cackles.

Keith crosses his arms and Lance can detect just a bit of a pout. _Cute_ , he thinks.

“I am not pretending.”

“The funnier thing is you thinking they are actually dating.”

“What?” Keith’s head snaps to look at Pidge.

Lance is laughing by now too.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I just wanted to see what you would say. We aren’t actually dating though.”

“That’s a weird thing to lie about.”

“You would be happy for your friend though, right?” Pidge says.

“Of course.” Keith is back to pouting.

“Dude, do you honestly think I could land Shiro anyway?”

Keith looks out the window and is silent for a moment.

“I think anyone would be lucky to be with you.”

The unexpected compliment throws Lance off.

“Uh, geeze Keith, uhm.” He blushes and swerves a little in his lane.

“Holy shit guys. First, Keith, gross. Second, Lance, you are driving something that can kill us all.” Pidge gives him a dirty look.  

Keith smirks in the backseat.  

Lance gathers himself. “Sorry, we just wanted to see what you said. It is kind of a joke because like, no one can actually be with Shiro. Have you seen him?”

“I mean, he is hot, but I think you guys are exaggerating how hot. I don’t think he is so hot he is untouchable or something.”

“Sure, but I am assuming he isn’t interested in dorky, skinny undergrads. Like, can you imagine who he would actually date?”

“I think he would date someone who looks like him,” Pidge speculates.

“Yeah…like, tall and muscular. Maybe a little edgy. Ripped,” Lance adds.  

“It wouldn’t even matter what gender the person is, just tall and strong and fit. Like, they practice bench pressing each other for fun,” Pidge says.  

“Or maybe a fitness model or something. Or maybe Sports Illustrated model? Maybe that body type, but like in the 90s. You know what I am talking about, Keith?” Lance looks in the rearview mirror again.   

“Uhm, no I don’t know what models looked like from the 90s.”

“Ugh, Cindy? Tyra?”

“I’ll take your word for it.”

“I actually heard that he is dating someone. I haven’t seen it anywhere on his twitter or anything, but he tends to keep those pretty business-orientated,” Lance says.  

“Stop stalking him, you loser.” Keith rolls his eyes.

“I’m not stalking!”

Lance pulls into the parking lot of Shiro’s coffee shop.

“Ok kids, time to act like normal human beings. No more talking about Shiro’s hotness or his bench-pressing lovers,” Lance says as they exit the car.   

The inside of Kerberos Coffee is fairly empty with just a short line of people. Sitting at the counter that customers have to pass to get to the seated area are two individuals. Lance checks them out. One is a shorter guy with a slight build, unruly brown hair, and glasses. He is adorable. He is wearing a NASA shirt. In other circumstances, Lance would hit on him. The other is the goddess they had imagined earlier in the car. She is very tall, fit, with silvery long hair. She has dark skin and a beautiful face that is somehow otherworldly. Maybe it was the hair giving off the effect. She is striking. If Lance liked girls, he would hit on her.  

Shiro is there, but obviously in the process of leaving for the day. They sit at a booth and had already received their drinks by the time Shiro pops over.

“Hi, Lance, Pidge. Ready for finals? And…”

Shiro looks at Keith with a slightly arched eyebrow.

“It’s Keith.”

“Right. Keith.”

They make small talk for a moment before Shiro explains that he has to go.

“I have to go guys, my date is waiting, good luck with tests though!” While saying this, Shiro gestures toward the counter.  

Lance nudges Keith once Shiro walks away.

“See! See his girlfriend over there! I told you she would look like that. Athletic, tall, a little edgy. Oh god they make a hot couple. Their hair even kinda matches. God, she is beautiful.”

“I mean, she isn’t my type.”

“That’s because you are really gay.”

“I mean, I can tell she is attractive.”

“I bet they could totally bench press each other.”  

They watch as Shiro makes his way over to the counter, walking up to the silver-haired beauty, then walking past her, and putting his arm around the short, brown-haired man.

There is a moment of complete silence and stillness.  

Lance can’t stop himself from gaping as the two walk out of the coffee shop, holding hands, leaving the silver-haired goddess sitting alone at the counter.

“Oh, well, that is a plot twist,” Pidge says, glancing over at Lance who seems to have stopped functioning.

“I mean, that is the choice I would have made,” Keith says.

“Pidge. Keith. you don’t understand.”

“Understand what?” Keith questions.  

“I had a chance. I. had. a. chance. He likes dorky, skinny undergrads!!!!”

Keith cannot help laughing at how distraught Lance looks.

“Whelp, can’t cry about it now, they look very happy, a great couple, a great happy couple that will probably get married and be together forever and ever.” Keith looks thrilled.  

“I HAD A CHANCE.”

“I mean, just because he is dating someone that is kinda similar to you in a really superficial way doesn’t mean you had an actual chance,” Pidge offers.

“You don’t know that.”

“Yeah, and that guy looked older than you. Like, he is short but probably Shiro’s age, not ours. I really don’t think he is an undergrad,” Keith adds.  

“And actually, I think I know who that is. He visited our school before. It just didn’t click until now. I think he has an actual job with NASA. His name is Mitch or Matt or something,” Pidge says.

“And, you know, personality matters too not just superficial similarities like being kind of skinny and having NASA shirts.” Keith smiles at the increasingly sulky Lance.

“Stop ganging up on me!” Lance whines. “Now he is taken. Where else am I going to find a big strong guy to take care of me?”

Keith opens his mouth, but before he can say anything Pidge interrupts.

“Who **isn’t** a total asshole.”

Keith starts to give her a dirty look before seeing that she is smiling at him.

Looking at Pidge and Keith, Lance thinks that, for the moment, this works. He barely hears Keith’s teasing retort as he enjoys how comfortable this feels.

**********

Pidge has some sort of study group so Lance drops her off at the Science Building before asking Keith if he wants to go for a walk. It is still early and a beautiful day, and there is a large historic park with lots of hiking trails nearby.   

The weather is perfect and the trails are green and vibrant, but the boy beside him is mostly silent, an unreadable look on his face. It doesn’t feel uncomfortable, but Lance wonders what he is thinking. Upon approaching a fork in a trail, Keith grabs his arm.

“Hey, I have actually been here before, for a class. Can we go that way?” Lance nods and the trail leads to a field where a weird structure is fenced off just inside the tree line. It looks like a small, old building made out of stones.

“Can we sit for a second?” Keith asks.

“Sure. Are you going to tell me about that building?”

“Actually, yes, and it isn’t really a building.”

They sit in the grass and Keith leans backward on his arms. Lance notes that Keith’s arm is kind of behind him. Not touching him, but if he leaned backward it would be like Keith had his arm around him.

“It is the remains of an old furnace for a factory. See the little entrance? You used to be able to go inside, but I guess someone did something stupid and you can’t anymore. They have that fence now.”

“I wondered what it was. Didn’t quite look like a house or anything like that. How do you know about an old furnace here?”

“A history class came here for a field trip. It was actually fun.”

“Tell me about it.”

“It is known as a blast furnace. They got metal by taking out the oxygen from whatever they were using. The area at the bottom there is called a hearth and that is where all the stuff would be caught after coming from the top of the furnace. Then, the metal would flow out through pipes and molds down here. I think it is called smelting. The pipes and molds and top part of the furnace don’t exist anymore, for this one. It is just the very bottom of the furnace. They do in some places though. There is a place in Alabama I would like to visit that has a really complete blast furnace.”

“Who’s the dork now?”

“Shut up.”

Keith is looking at him now, biting his lower lip, not that Lance notices. Lance becomes aware that they are sitting closer than he originally thought, or maybe Keith has moved closer. 

“When was this blast surface built?”

“Late 1800s, I think.”

Lance licks his lips and leans closer.

“Do you think people died working in them?”

“Probably.”  

Keith’s arm is almost around him now.

_Closer_

“That sucks.”

“Yeah.”

_Closer_

“I assume it would be a fast death though, I mean, if you have to go.”

“Yeah.”

_Closer_

Lance closes his eyes and leans forward, waiting for Keith’s lips to be on his again, feeling the other boy’s breath on his face they are so close now.  

“Well, I guess we better go it’s getting late!” Keith abruptly stands up, leaving Lance half-leaning, awkwardly.

“Are you kidding me?”

“I am hungry so maybe we can get something to eat if you still want to hang out?”

Lance picks at the grass in frustration before standing up as well.

“You are buying me tacos.”

“Why tacos?”

“Because you are an asshole.”

“That doesn’t even make sense.”

“You don’t make sense.”

Lance throws a handful of grass at him before betting he can get back to the parking lot faster than Keith.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously, I wrote this entire chapter and somehow forgot that Matt is Pidge's brother what is wrong with me? Like, somehow I separated the person who is on a flight team with Shiro and Pidge's brother in my head? I did not realize it until like...an hour ago and decided to just leave it. I see AUs with all types of changes made with the relationships of the characters. I can make Pidge Gunderson and Matt Holt unrelated :p  
> Also, I don't really ship Shiro with anything except "not death," but my friend loves Shiro and Matt ha ha.


	13. Surrender

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friendship bracelets, rugby players, and Lance actually being honest with himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am glad I could get this out in time to celebrate for Season 2 tomorrow! And also maybe if anyone needs a distraction from Trump's inauguration tomorrow. I will be curled in my bed tomorrow night avoiding all social media and binging the literal entire new season in one sitting.

Lance has many questions for himself as he starts a fight with a rugby player who is roughly the same height as him, but probably double his weight in muscle.

_What am I doing with my life?_

_Oh god why?_

And

_Can you die from being punched in the head?_

The night had been doomed from the start. Lance is finding Keith more and more annoying as their friendship progresses. They talk on the phone, text, sometimes go see movies. They had even started hanging out with the entire gang every once in awhile, Lance’s high school life mixing with his present with Nyma, Keith, Pidge, Hunk, and Rolo. Nyma had fit in surprisingly well with the group. Pidge’s animosity toward Keith is still there, but waiting rather than openly aggressive now.

They are actually having fun together. The other night, they had watched _the Babadook_ and Lance somehow convinced Keith to make friendship bracelets with him. They sit and weave their bracelets while Lance pretends he isn’t scared of the movie at all. One day, they had gone shopping and Keith actually let Lance pick out some clothes for him. Keith’s excuse for the sad state of his fashion sense is that he doesn’t care about clothes at all and just wears whatever his mom or Nyma bought him or picked out for him.

So, Lance makes him buy some good clothes, hoping to wean him off of khaki shorts and pastel polos.

In fact, on the way to the party where Lance might die by rugby player, Keith wears the marks of Lance’s friendship. He wears a red, clingy shirt that Lance had bought for him and a pair of black pants that Lance loves. Lance also notices that the friendship bracelet is on his wrist.

So, Lance doesn’t understand why Keith is annoying to him now. A party is probably not a good idea. A party with a bunch of Keith’s athlete friends is an even worse idea. On the way to the house, Keith leans close to Lance and whispers that there are going to be a lot of hot guys there, including some foreign ones. Keith already smells like liquor and Lance can’t quite join in on the “accents are so hot” discussion Keith seems to be having with himself.

When they get to the party, Keith drags him to the kitchen. It is crowded and loud. Lance wrinkles his nose as he sees someone he recognizes to be one of the cheerleaders basically having sex with a running back on the couch.

“Do shots with me.”

“Why?”

“You are cranky. This will loosen you up. Or someone can take you home if you want?”

“No. Shut up. Give me a shot.”

The shots are made with cheap tequila and Lance grimaces. Cheap tequila is horrible and tequila shots in general are better when you have salt and a lime. That is perhaps a bit too fancy for this type of party though which seems to be focused on getting drunk fast.

“Let’s dance!” Keith pulls him toward the dance floor.

The music is somehow so loud that Lance can barely even hear the beat, so he makes up his own. They dance like middle schoolers, sort of with each other, but keeping a respectable foot distance between their hips. Keith seems distracted and Lance wants to show him what he can really do. Get a better song on, get his rhythm, make sure Keith never looks at anyone else.

Lance shakes his head.

“Hey, hold on a second. Stay right here,” Keith says, turning and running somewhere. Lance sighs and makes his way to a wall. He wills the tequila to work faster or something. He eventually goes back to the kitchen, grabbing a beer on the counter and drinking it.

Eventually, there is a hand on his shoulder.

“Lance, I found us men. Which one do you like? Can I have the tall one?”

He turns around to see Keith standing there, eyes partially unfocused, clearly intoxicated. Behind him stood two muscular guys who were smiling and admittedly pretty hot.

“This is Lotor,” he gestures toward the one who Lance guesses is the “tall one.”

“This is Haxus,” he points at the other one, a bit shorter and older looking.

“They do rugby IN BRITAIN.”

“Hi, nice to meet you,” shorter one says.

“You must be Lance!” The tall one remarks.

“Why don’t we go into the next room? It is a bit quieter there.”

As they make their way to the back room, Keith turns and grins at Lance.

“Accccccennttttssss!” he hisses.

They eventually make their way outside, finding a few pieces of lawn furniture to sit on. Someone grabs them all new beers and Lance tries to appear interested as Haxus makes small talk.

“So, you are a student here?”

“No, actually, I go to…”

He answers absent-mindedly, focusing more on Keith being an inch away from being on the tall one’s, or Lotor’s, lap. Lotor says something and Keith giggles. Lance rolls his eyes.

Eventually, Haxus seems to get the hint and excuses himself to the bathroom, never coming back. Lance feels a twinge of regret at this. Haxus is pretty damned hot. Maybe he should have flirted more. He stood up as well, suddenly feeling like the third wheel.

Keith notices, jumping up after him.

“Hey, you not feeling it?”

“It is a little cold so I wanted to go back inside.”

“Ok, we can come too.”

Lance looks at Lotor, smiling behind Keith’s back.

“No need. I thought I saw one of my brother’s friends in there. I may go see if I can find them.”

“Ok, are you sure? We can go if you aren’t having fun.”

“No, stay here, get that British dick.” Lance turns and waves as he walks away.

Lance does find a few of his brothers’ friends inside and they talk as best as they can with the noise. Anthony himself isn’t at the party due to being on academic probation and having to do study hours. His teammates tease Lance, telling him he needs to tutor Anthony for the good of the team. The evening redeems itself slightly until one of them pokes his shoulder lightly and then points.

“Looks like Keith is having fun.”

Lance turns around and sees Keith dancing with Lotor. Dancing may not entirely be the word for it though. Lotor’s knee is pressed firmly between Keith’s legs and Keith is grinding against it. He has surprisingly rhythmical hips given his general inability to dance. Keith doesn’t see Lance, eyes closed as he rubs a hand up Lotor’s chest.  

Lotor does see Lance though. He makes eye contact with him and pulls Keith closer, rubbing his body against his. Then, he slowly moves his hand up Keith’s back to his hair. He grips his hair, pulls his head back, and licks Keith’s neck. Lance realizes his hands are shaking and he is staring. _Lance, it is time to look away now, it is getting weird_ , a voice whispers inside of him.  

Keith basically swoons at Lotor’s attention to his neck. Lance is done. He starts to make his way over to the two, watching as Lotor pulls back and starts whispering in Keith’s ear. Lance isn’t even sure what he wants to do and his mind tries to catch up with what his body is doing.

He slows down just a bit when he sees Keith tense up suddenly and pull away from Lotor. They almost seem to be arguing though Lance cannot comprehend what might have gone wrong in that short of a time.

Keith starts to walk away from Lotor, but Lotor grabs his wrist, holding him back. That is when Lance figures out what his body wants to do. In two long strides, he is right next to them. He reaches his hands out, pushing Lotor hard on the chest away from Keith.

“Hey, asshole, fuck off.”

Keith stares at him like he has grown a second head. Lotor looks murderous.

“Why don’t you make me, you fucking poof.” He steps forward, hands balled up in fists.

Keith pulls Lance back and angles his body in-between Lance’s own and Lotor’s. He reaches his hands up and pushes Lotor again much like Lance had.

“Don’t you fucking call him that, you…you…dickhead.”

Keith sways a little as he says this and Lance realizes that Lotor could probably take them both on right now with Keith drunk and Lance not really being a fighter.

 _Defuse_ , Lance’s head says. _Defuse the situation._

“Keith, come on, let’s just go.” Lance pulls insistently at his arm.

Lotor and Keith size each other up, each waiting for the other to make a move.

“Keith, come on,” Lance pulls harder.

Keith finally backs away, allowing himself to be led outside by Lance, ignoring another shouted insult by Lotor that gets lost in the music.

It is dark and Lance is relieved, feeling like the darkness gives him a bit of cover. He doesn’t really want Keith to see his face right now.

There are a few moments of silence before Keith starts laughing.

“Well, that isn’t how I thought the night would end. Sucks he turned out to be an ass. And, Jesus, Lance, can you try not to antagonize men that could kick our asses?”

Lance doesn’t respond.

“Are you still angry? Is it because he called you a name? I will go back and kick his ass or at least try if you want me to.”

“No, I am fine.”

“You **are** mad. Did I do something wrong?”

“No, Keith. You are perfect. Just fine.”

“I am not perfect, but I am trying. Are you mad I tried to find some guys for us? I mean, you are always complaining about being single so I thought you might be interested. I hope you didn’t feel pressured…”

“Keith no. It’s fine. It’s nothing for you to worry about.”

Keith walks over to him and lifts his hand like he is going to touch Lance’s shoulder before dropping it again.  

“I don’t get why you are mad.”

“I’m not mad.”

“You clearly are. Look at your face. You don’t hide emotions well.”

Lance turns around, crossing his arms tightly across his chest.

“Are you mad about Lotor? I didn’t know he was an asshole. I really didn’t. He seemed like a cool guy for about five seconds. You…you aren’t mad that I took him instead of Haxus right?”

“No! He is a bastard. I hated him from the very first time I saw him. I would never want either of them.”

“Why did you hate him from the beginning?”

“You were all like ACCENTS” Lance does jazz hands to emphasize the word. “And sitting in his lap and laughing at his stupid ass unfunny jokes and then he danced with you and was touching…”

Lance stops, a sudden realization hitting him. _Oh, god, I sound ridiculous._

“So you hated him from the beginning because he was interested in me?  So, you don’t want me but no one else is allowed to want me either?”

“I…it isn’t…that is wrong. This isn’t about him.” Lance realizes he is shaking, hot white anger blooming in his chest.

“You…you are mad at me. Why? What did I do this time?”

“Nothing. I am not mad.”

“You are lying. You are so mad you sound like you are going to cry.”

It is the final straw. Lance stalks back over to him, hands clenched at his sides. He doesn’t even know what he wants to do. Does he want to hit him? Or?

“Whoa,” Keith backs up with his hands up. “Lance, calm down. Whatever this is, we can talk about it.”

“You are an asshole.”

“I’m an asshole? Why? What did I do?”

Lance grits his teeth and looks at the ground.

“You know, nevermind. Nothing I do makes you happy. I have been an asshole to you, but even when I am not you are angry. I try to flirt with you and you get angry. You cuddle up with me on Ferris wheels and then get angry. I leave you alone, break off contact, and you get angry. I try to be your friend and you get angry. I try to hook you up with someone hot because you complain about being single and you act like you want to hit me. Is there anything I can do that won’t make you angry?”

Lance stares at him, wheels in his head churning.

“Come on Lance. You yourself said we are friends. We are communicating right now and I want you to be very clear with me. What do you want?”

Lance backs up. _What do I want?_

“What do you want from me?” Keith takes a step forward.

“I…stop. Don’t come any closer.”

Keith stops.

 “Just tell me what you want then. It is easy. Just tell me what you want. And I will do it. I will leave you alone if you want.”

“No! Not that.”

“Ok, so explain to me what you do want if it isn’t that. Lance, look at me. I’m listening. I will respect whatever you say. But you have to tell me what you want”

“I…”

Lance considers his words, a silence stretching out that that feels like an eternity.

“I want you.”

Keith nods, seemingly unmoved.

“How do you want me?”

“I hate you so much.”

“Lance, no backtracking. I am tired of this game. I want everything out in the open. Do you want my friendship.” He holds up his wrist, extending one finger and showing off the almost comical multi-colored friendship bracelet. “Do you want sex?” He puts up another finger. “Or do you want a relationship.” A third finger.  

Lance tries to untangle the question in his mind.

“I will say right now that I am not interested in casual sex with you. Things have gone a bit too far for that now, haven’t they?” Keith lowers one of his fingers.  

Lance nods.

Keith stands there, folding his hands over his chest now. He looks somehow vulnerable and closed off at once.

“Don’t laugh at me,” Lance whines.

“Do you see me laughing right now?”

“I don’t want any of those other assholes touching you. I don’t want you sleeping around ever again.”

“You are dragging this out. You don’t get to demand that of me unless we are actually dating.”

“Yes, then, you motherfucker.  That is what I want. I want to be your boyfriend. Are you happy now?” Lance snarls at him.

Keith smiles happily, a genuine one. Lance is shook.

“Really?”

“Yes, really. If you laugh at me I will…”

“Why would I laugh at that?”

Keith walks over to him, holding his arms out like he is going to hug him, but stopping just beforehand. Lance walks into it, leaning his head on Keith’s shoulder as best as he can with the height difference. They stand for a moment in the chilly night air, the sounds of the party in the background.  

“So what do we do now?” Keith asks, quietly.

“Kiss me.”

And he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This felt like it happened too fast, but in my original outline they were boyfriends by like, Chapter 5 so I guess not. None of what I want to write now between them makes sense unless they are an actual couple. The next few chapters will answer the following: How awkward can they be as boyfriends? Will Keith bring Lance home to his parents? How hard is Anthony going to kick Keith's ass? Will Keith ever get to see Lance in lingerie? Seriously Sidi, that is the first tag in this story and there have been like, two chapters that mention it and Lance hasn't even worn it yet.


	14. Tranquility

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They literally roll around in bed for the entire chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still haven't watched all of Season 2-I am up to episode 4. I have just been really busy. I am hoping I like it more than some fans seemed to...  
> Every second Lance is on screen made me love him more though. Every second.

Lance is slow to wake up, wondering why his bed doesn’t feel quite right. His normally silky sheets feel stiffer than usual. He opens his eyes slowly and realizes with a start that he isn’t in his bed or his bedroom.

The night before rushes back to him. He looks over to see a lump in the bed beside him. _Oh, right._

He is in Keith’s bed. He doesn’t have pants on. Lance closes his eyes and squirms under the covers, relishing in the memories of the night before.

**********

Lance has no idea how long they had been kissing before he realizes that they are standing somewhere pretty public and Keith is grabbing his ass.

“We should…” he finally pulls away.

“Come home with me.”

“Ok.”

They gross out the Lyft driver by making out the entire way home. Keith is just how Lance remembers from the last time they kissed, months before, soft lips, surprisingly gentle, but still firm touch.

As they crawl into his bedroom, Lance suddenly becomes nervous.

“Uh, I am not sure I am ready to, you know, do stuff,” he says, hoping that Keith wouldn’t push it tonight.

“What type of guy do you take me for? I am at least taking you on a proper date before I fuck you.”

“You’re so romantic.” Lance rolls his eyes.

“What you see is what you get. Now get in here.”

Keith starts to crawl into the bed, still wearing his shoes and the black jeans.

“Were you raised by wolves? Seriously.”

Lance walks over, dragging Keith’s legs toward the end of the bed. He kneels and starts taking off his shoes and tugging at his pants.  

“Ok, this is kinda hot, you may not want to kneel in front of me after saying you don’t want to have sex.”

“Get your own pants off then, heathen.”

Lance slips out of his own pants and shoes before crawling into the bed. Keith is on him in a moment. Keith kisses like it is a battle-aggressive, firm, relentless. Lance loves it, relishing in being pushed back into the bed and attacked. He touches everything he can reach-Keith is a combination of lean muscle and soft skin and Lance allows himself to indulge. This is his boyfriend now. He is allowed to touch.

It doesn’t take long for Lance to realize that he would probably be fine with it if Keith did want to go further tonight. “Fine” might be an understatement though. That maybe he even wants to go further tonight. He enjoys being pinned against the bed with Keith’s weight on him. It isn’t a stretch to imagine being even more naked, of doing things he had only fantasied about before, of being pinned in a different way. Lance is breathing heavier now and he unconsciously spreads his legs.

Keith is kissing his neck now and then pulls back, laying his head on Lance’s shoulder, sighing deeply.  Lance reaches his hand down to the waistband of Keith’s boxers.

“So Keith…maybe we can at least get each other off?”

Keith is silent and Lance wonders if he somehow offended him.

“Yo, Keith, hand jobs?”

Lance nudges him.

“Keith?”

Then he hears a little snore.

Lance is outraged and ready to drag Keith from his slumber. He briefly considers it. Then he wonders if it would make him a pervert if he took care of his little issue on the bed right now with Keith asleep next to him. He decides to just wait it out, still semi-pinned beneath the other boy. It is nice, feeling Keith relaxing on top of him.  He reaches up with his free arm and gently runs his fingers through Keith’s hair.

“You idiot, you are finally getting your chance and you can’t even stay awake.”

It is peaceful though, once Lance gets over Keith falling asleep at the wrong time. Almost tender. Lance manages to ease Keith partially off him to make himself more comfortable. Keith complies, though he keeps his arms latched around him. _Who would have known he was cuddly?_ Lance thinks to himself.  

Then Lance begins overthinking, a fatal flaw in his make-up that rears its ugly head every once in a while. In some ways, dating Keith feels like an inevitability. Like it is meant to happen from the day they first met back in elementary school. But Lance is afraid that is his silly side speaking, the part that believes in psychics and soulmates. There is part of him that wants to leave and pretend he was so drunk that he doesn’t remember asking Keith to be his boyfriend. He still can’t entirely figure out how he feels about Keith.

He realizes that he is intensely physically attracted to Keith. As a teenager, even, though Lance denies it to himself. But, Lance is a bit older now and not horny every time the wind blows. What do him and Keith have beyond hormones? There are other hot guys around, hot guys that would probably be easier to pursue. But Lance still can’t deny that he wants Keith.

There are practical concerns for this relationship too. He knows that Keith still has some asshole, bully tendencies in him. He knows a lot of important people in their lives are against their relationship. Even without that tension, they don’t even really fall into the same crowds. Does Lance see himself hanging out with a bunch of football players at a bar in the future? Or Keith coming to a conference with him?

Did he love Keith? Did he love Keith enough to make this work?

Somewhere in the middle of his post-boyfriend panic, Lance slips into sleep.

**********

Lance opens his eyes again and reaches over to pat the lump in the bed next to him. At some point during the night, Keith had pulled away and he is now entirely underneath the covers. Lance scoots down a bit, pulling the covers up. Keith is facing him, curled up in a ball on his side in a fetal position. He looks small, smaller than Lance had ever seen him look, face completely serene. This isn’t what makes Lance want to scream though.  

Keith’s hand is up to his face with his thumb in his mouth. He isn’t sucking it and the thumb isn’t even entirely in his mouth-more like the tip, the fingernail. But it is close enough to make Lance want to die.

He slaps a hand over his mouth, and slowly reaches for his phone. He thanks god he left it where he can reach it on the nightstand beside Keith’s bed. He snaps a few pictures and quickly opens his texts after putting the covers back over Keith.

**[Message Sent]**

Lance: Image.jpg

Lance: Pidge. Pidge. Look.

Pidge: Is that Keith?

Lance: Yes, holy shit. Look at him.

Pidge: He actually…looks adorable

Lance: I KNOW!!!!!!

Pidge: Are you guys in bed together?

Lance: Yes

Pidge: Is your virginity no longer for this world?

Lance: Nothing like that. You know if I had sex I would tell you like, within five seconds after it was over.

Lance: We are officially dating now though

Lance: I know you will be mad

Pidge: I’m not mad

Pidge: You know what I think and I have said my piece

Pidge: I want you to be happy though and me being a bitch about this isn’t going to make you happy. Keith obviously does something for you so I support you

Pidge: I will destroy him if he hurts you though

Lance: Thanks Pidge

Pidge: Nyma is actually surprisingly cool too. She is hanging out with Hunk and Rolo today. We can keep her even if Keith screws up.

Lance: Agreed

Pidge: Have you told your brother?

Lance: No. It is weird. Him and Keith are talking, but it’s still a little awkward between them. I don’t think he will like it, but I am an adult I can make my own decisions, you know?

Pidge: Right

Lance: But what if I made the wrong decision?

Pidge: What do you mean?

Lance: What if I made a mistake?

Pidge: …

Lance: Will we actually work? Will we get married one day? Do I see myself spending my life with him?

Pidge: Holy shit Lance, you have been dating for like, 8 hours. Why are you even thinking about marriage?

Lance: Isn’t that what dating is supposed to lead to?

Pidge: No. No. Ok, be patient I’m gonna say a lot

Pidge: Dating is just a stage where you are figuring stuff out. Some people date and then never really get serious and that is ok. It happens. Some people date and never marry and that is ok too. It is ok to date just to figure things out, how you feel or if you want to become more serious. Just deciding to date someone doesn’t mean you are engaged to be married or something. I don’t think you should lead him on, of course. That isn’t what I am trying to say. If you don’t like him romantically at all, then you made a mistake and need to be honest with him. But I think you do like him romantically. You have told me that you do. And even I can see you need to figure something out with Keith. I mean, there is something there, right?

Lance: Yes, there is.  Isn’t it a terrible cliché to end up with your high school bully though?

Pidge: Life is a cliché sometimes

Lance: I think I might love him???

Pidge: Then date him and see where it goes

Lance: you are being awfully supportive

Pidge: You have awful taste in men, like the worst. But you have also been gross and pining after him for a while now.

Pidge: I will also admit that spending time with him makes you happy and I want a happy Lance above all else

Lance: Awww Pidge

Lance: You are right though. I am just panicking.

Lance feels Keith stir beside him.

Lance: Shit, I think he is waking up. Talk soon?

Pidge: Have fun

 

Lance makes the picture his background on his phone before shuffling it back onto the nightstand. Keith is stirring under the covers, groaning a little. Lance lifts the covers just in time to see his eyes open.

Keith looks blearily at him for a moment before his eyes widen. “You are still here,” he mumbles.

“Is that bad?”

“No, I thought you would leave and pretend like last night didn’t happen.”

Lance decides to pretend like that never crossed his mind.  

“Nope. You are stuck with me now.”

Keith pulls Lance close to him, wrapping his arms and legs around him.

“You are so warm and soft,” he whispers. “Let’s stay in bed all day.”

“Maybe another day. I am hungry. And you need a shower. You smell bad.”

Keith whines.

Lance hears his text alert go off and ignores it. _Probably Pidge_ , he thinks.

They cuddle for a few more minutes before Keith’s bladder gives out and he begrudgingly drags himself toward his bathroom.

Lance idly picks up his phone and sees a message from his brother.

**[Message Received]**

Anthony: You need to get home right now.

Lance: What’s wrong??? Is mom ok?

Anthony: Are you at Keith’s right now?

Lance: Why would you ask me that?

Lance hadn’t really been honest with his brother about how much he was hanging out with Keith lately. It is kind of an open secret because he assumes Anthony knows to a certain extent even if they haven’t talked about it.

Keith and Anthony apparently had a falling out that wasn’t entirely because of Lance. They had been arguing anyway while Keith was having his little meltdown. And Anthony was still completely against them dating.

Lance imagines having to gently break the news to Anthony. Maybe even warm him up to the idea a bit. Lance knows they just need to communicate openly. Keith and Anthony were best friends for a long time and surely Anthony would understand why Keith acted the way he did. They just needed to get together and have a nice long conversation, maybe over coffee or frozen yogurt, and work this out. Keith could tell Anthony everything and Lance could gently remind his brother that they are adults who have chosen to date one another. Then, everything would be fine and they would all hug, a big group hug, and they could be just like brothers with one another, except two of them would be having sex sometimes.    

He sees that Anthony is sending a picture. He watches, curious, while starting to put on his pants. He stops in mid-action when he sees what the picture is.

It is a screencap of a picture that someone had sent Anthony. He quickly recognizes that it is him and Keith, making out outside the house where the party was held. Keith’s hand is on his ass, tongue down his throat, and Lance wants to die. The caption underneath the picture said

“Ha ha Keith fucked your younger brother last night”

Lance cycles through outrage, amusement, and fear. He feels violated and wonders which asshole would send his brother something like this. He briefly feels a swell of pride at how great they look as a couple though. It is a hot picture if it had remained a private one between the two of them.

Then, finally, he sees his wild fantasy of breaking the news to Anthony slowly and having a hand-holding, honest conversation about their relationship status that ends in everyone hugging disappears before his eyes. Anthony is _pissed._

Anthony: Come home right now and tell Keith I am going to fucking kill him

Lance: Anthony, calm down. We need to talk anyway.

Anthony: Are you with him right now? I’m coming. What is his new address?

Lance: Stop, let’s meet somewhere. Calm down. It’s fine.

“What is it? Why are you getting dressed?” Keith walks into the room. Lance notes how adorable he looks in a normal T-shirt and boxers, his legs bare and poking out from the shirt.

“You know how we were going to ease Anthony into this and carefully let him get used to the idea of us being together before confirming it?”

“Yes,” Keith says as he reaches for his own phone.

“Well, someone at the party had different ideas and Anthony knows and he is pissed.” He shows the screencap of the kiss to Keith.  

Keith stares at it wide-eyed.

“Ok, number one, we look hot together. Number two, I am going to kill someone. Number three, for the record, I was a gentleman last night and there was no sex. I mean, come on. I showed a lot of restraint!”

“Uh, yeah, if by restraint you mean passing out while we were kissing.”

“That still counts.”

Keith looks at his own phone.  

“Oh, well, great, one new text and it is Anthony telling me he is going to kill me.”

“What should we do?”

“This is partially on me. I have been afraid to have a real conversation with Anthony. I am not sure he will ever accept us together, you know?”

“It isn’t his choice. But, we do need to talk with him. He is really fucking pissed right now so let me talk to him first. I will calm him down and stuff.”

Keith looks at Lance almost shyly before looking down at the ground.

“Do you still…are you sure you still want to be with me?”

Lance’s knees go weak at how cute Keith looks when he looks insecure. It is a side of Keith he really did not get to see often, if at all. Maybe over the phone, but it is different now, looking at Keith with his arms crossed, looking down at the ground, blushing a bit.

“Don’t think you are getting out of that date you promised me last night. A real date.” He crosses the distance between them and hugs Keith. Keith hugs back, burying his face in Lance’s shoulder.

“Ok, I better go make sure my brother isn’t like, loading a shotgun or something right now. Can we talk tonight? I’ll let you know how it goes and we can plan our date?”

“Sounds good.”

There is an awkward moment when Lance pulls away where he is pretty sure that Keith wants to say a certain three letter phrase to him. It isn’t the right time and Lance is pretty sure he wouldn’t be able to say it back, not just yet. Keith seems to realize this as well, settling for kissing him on the cheek.

“I’m sorry dating me is already causing you so many issues.”

“Whatever. You better make it worth it. I want to be swept off my feet. Ok, sweetheart?”

Keith wrinkles his nose.

“Not that term of endearment. And it is on. I am going to take you on the best date of your life. You are going to be ruined for all other dates, even other ones with me.”

Lance feels his phone buzzing in his pocket several times in a row.

“I look forward to it, if my brother doesn’t kill us both.”

He briefly considers getting Keith to drive him to his brother’s place, but decides that he doesn’t want to chance it even if Keith just drove away after dropping him off. He convinces Keith to let him get a taxi and then begins the process of mentally preparing himself.

 _It can’t be that bad, right?_ He thinks to himself as he leaves Keith’s apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am even a bit angry at Keith for falling asleep :p


	15. Emerging

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance fights with his brother and Nyma gets Pidge on board. Everyone gets to make fun of Keith though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I have edited this so much I can't even tell what it says anymore. I also really, really, really, really want to get the date chapter up by Valentine's Day. I have seriously spent time planning their date including looking up picture references for their outfits. What am I doing with my life??

Lance grows steadily more annoyed as the taxi brings him closer and closer to his brother. As far as he is concerned, it is really none of anyone’s business what he was or wasn’t doing with Keith last night. Not his brother’s business, not whoever took the picture, not anyone’s.  

He gets out of the taxi, pays, and sees his brother open the door to his house.  

“Are you ok?”

Lance almost laughs the concern seems so ridiculous. “Why wouldn’t I be ok? I was with my boyfriend.”

“Lance, he isn’t your boyfriend.”

“Could have fooled me!”

“Did he pressure you into it?”

“No, this is what I wanted. I am not some child that can be peer pressured into something. Why does this bother you so much? I don’t get it.”

“Keith told me he used to bully you when we were younger. I’m sorry I didn’t realize it and no, I haven’t forgiven him for that.”

Lance flicks his hand.

“I’m over it. We have talked it out. He apologized.”

“But how can you forgive him?”

“What would Jesus do, Anthony? It is easy.”

“He said gross things about you when we were drunk one time.”

Lance feels a sliver of doubt. As they move inside the house, he wonders if he really wants to know.

“Like what?”

“That you were really hot and he likes your ass and that you turn him on.”

“He said he likes my ass?” Lance says, letting his excitement show.

“Lance, gross.”

“I mean, come on, he has told me worse, sober, to my face. That isn’t gross except for the fact that he said it to you.”

“Keith has slept around a lot too.”

“Why should I care about that?”

“It’s gross.”

“How many men has he slept with?”

“I wasn’t exactly keeping a tally.”

“How many women have you slept with?”

“Uh, why does that matter?”

“How many women?”

Anthony stares at him.

“Ok, let’s try this. Every time you were at a party and Keith was having his fun, were you also having fun with a girl?”

“Uh…”

“How many? Tell me. Tell me you didn’t have a girl every time Keith had a guy.”

“That isn’t the same.”

“Why not?”

“I am not trying to have sex with my younger sister.”

The tense moment dissipates for a moment while they both laugh at his poor word choice.

“That didn’t come out right. I don’t care what Keith does as long as it is out of sight and not with you. You are my younger brother. I have to protect you.”

“So Keith is somehow too impure for me to be with him?”

Anthony is silent for quite a long time, looking down at the carpet.  

“Yes.”

“Ok, so do you consider yourself too impure for whatever girl you finally settle down with? She might be someone’s younger sister.”

“That’s different.”

“It isn’t. Why is it ok for you to sleep around and you are fine with that, but not Keith? And what exactly do you mean out of sight? Do you know how that sounds?”

“I didn’t mean it that way.”

“Because it sounds like you have an issue, specifically, with Keith sleeping around so…”

“I don’t care what he does but he flaunts it and it’s disrespectful.”

“Disrespectful? To whom?”

“I…it just doesn’t sit right with me.”

Anthony crosses his arms in front of his body.

“Did he rape anyone?”

“What the fuck. No.”

“Did he force anyone or drug them or something?”

“No, he isn’t like that.”

“Then explain what the problem is, exactly.”

“He…”

Lance cuts him off angrily, tired of his brother’s weak excuses.  

“Does it bother you when you see your other teammates getting some? Remember that one crazy party you told me about, I think it was Halloween? I mean, since you bring up flaunting it.…you actually had some sort of orgy? Does that bother you?”

“It wasn’t an orgy!”

“You still had sex with like, a teammate and some girls in the same room and then you bragged about it all Thanksgiving break. Is that flaunting it? Did you guys need to keep it out of sight?” Lance does quote fingers around the words out of sight. “Do you dislike that teammate for having sex with a girl near you? Did you make sure the door was locked so you wouldn’t be flaunting it?”

“You are twisting my words.”

“If Keith was banging girls would you still have an issue?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t believe you. Would you have an issue with me sleeping around?”

Lance can see the gears churning. “If I wanted to brag to you about stuff I had done with men would that bother you?” He continues, stomach churning. He hadn’t expected to fight with Anthony like this.

“It is a little weird, yeah. I mean, you are my little brother.”

“You have told me literally everything about your sex life. I mean, everything.”

“You are younger…”

“I am a year younger. Stop acting like I am 13 or something. I am done here. You need to sort your shit, Anthony.”

Lance starts to walk away, cursing that he doesn’t have a car to just drive away in. His only option is to stand awkwardly outside waiting for another taxi to pick him up.  

“Wait…I didn’t mean…I don’t…”

“Anthony, I am disappointed in you.”

There is a long moment of silence.

“Did you just Dad me?”

“Yes, I totally Dadded you. Most of your issues with Keith seem to be the fact that he is sleeping with men. That is gross Anthony and how do you think that makes me feel for how you see me?”

“Wait…that isn’t…”

“I am also not some pure virgin that needs protected. I am an adult. I have made a decision. I don’t need your permission to do what I want or who I want.”

He walks out the door, slamming the screen door behind him. Then, he reconsiders and goes back.

“And another thing, Keith really sees you like a big brother. You guys have been close friends for a long time. He needs people like you in his life. And you are abandoning him, why exactly? Have you even tried talking to him, really talking to him? Seriously Anthony, get your shit together.”

Then he walks out, sighs deeply, and pulls out his phone.

A moment later, he hears Anthony coming out of the house.

“Let me drive you. I can take you all the way home or to…to Keith’s if that is what you want.”

Lance considers being petty and insisting on taking a taxi, but he sees Anthony’s facial expression and gives in. They get into Anthony’s car, sitting in silence for the first few minutes of the drive.

“Ok. Just.  Listen. You might be right. About me. I didn’t even realize.”

Lance sulks further down in his seat.

“I am kind of an asshole.”

“I’m not denying it.”

“Do you love him?”

“We have been dating for less than 24 hours. We haven’t even been on a real date yet. But I might one day.”

“Why?”

Lance snorts before seeing that Anthony expects a serious answer.

“Honestly, I don’t know why. We just click for some reason.”

It sounds lame, but how do you explain why you feel drawn to someone? Lance’s face burns as he considers telling his brother what one touch from Keith does for him, how just being in the same room as Keith can make him feel like he is on fire, how Keith’s laugh makes his stomach churn, how his bangs falling in his eyes makes his heart pound.

“But, seriously? Keith? Did you….did you really sleep with him? Like, have sex with Keith??”

Anthony wrinkles his nose.  

“No, we haven’t had sex yet. But we probably will.”

Lance glares at Anthony, daring him to say something.

“Well, it is your body.”

“It is. And his body. His perfect, ripped body.”

A facial expression flits across Anthony’s face too fast for Lance to catch.

“Yes, gotta love a nice body.” It sounds forced, but Lance appreciates Anthony’s attempt.

They sit in silence the rest of the way home.

When they get to Lance’s, Anthony deliberately pulls the car close enough to the cement barrier marking off the parking lot from the lawn area that Lance cannot open his door.

“Hey, what are you doing?”  

“Listen. I was wrong to think Keith needed to keep it out of sight and it is not any different from what I do. The majority of my issue is not about sexual preference though. Sometimes I get over-protective but I don’t want to see you get hurt. Keith hasn’t exactly been acting like an ideal partner. It feels like he is…preying on you, taking advantage of how inexperienced you are.”

Lance snorts. “I’m not that innocent and Keith isn’t that bad.” For a brief moment though, Lance can see how a sibling might see Keith’s behavior. He imagines someone acting this way with Pidge. Like, if Pidge had a bully who tried to force her to wear lingerie and butted themselves into her life like Keith had…

Lance feels a spark of anger in his stomach at the same time as doubt flashes across his body.   _Jesus, what am I doing with my life? Why am I with Keith?_

“I know.” Anthony’s words shake Lance from his thoughts. “And Keith has been through some shit though with his parents and other guys on the team and maybe I should have been there for him a bit more. But, if he hurts you, I swear to god I will kill him.”

“That escalated quickly. Listen, if he hurts me, it happens. Sometimes relationships don’t work out. I’ll cry about it for a little while and you can send him some nasty text messages. No need for killing.”

“I will respect that you want to date him. And I will try to talk to him, for real. I mean, I do care about him, obviously. It’s just been weird lately.”

Lance ignores that the word date comes out like Anthony is struggling with it.

“Good.”

“And Lance? I love you exactly as you are.”

They share an awkward car hug before Anthony finally pulls back and lets Lance out.

 

**********

Later that night, Lance is debating whether he should text Keith. They hadn’t spoken since the morning and he doesn’t know if texting and phone call times should change now that they aren’t just friends. They had sporadic contact, texts and calls, throughout any typical week. But, it feels like it should be more and more regular now. He doesn’t want to seem clingy though. As he sits with his phone in his hands, he receives a notification.

**[Group Message Invite Received]**

Nyma: Dude. I am dying here. I wish you could see Keith.

Pidge: Yes, this is amazing

Lance: Oh god, what is he doing

Nyma: I literally caught him on wikihow reading how to plan the perfect date

Pidge: LOL

Lance: LOLOLOL

Nyma: I KNOW

Lance: Hasn’t he been on dates before?

Nyma: Like, dinner and a movie

Lance: I mean, we could just do that

Pidge: No. He needs to work harder than that. He needs to earn you

Nyma: He has never dated you before Lance. He wants it to be special

Lance: I’m blushing

Nyma: He is seriously trying here. Don’t worry, I won’t let him do anything weird

Lance: I mean, seriously I would be fine just spending some time with him. It doesn’t have to be something weird or special

Nyma: I told him not to over-plan. Some of his plans seemed exhausting rather than romantic or fun

Lance: Steer him in the right direction

Pidge: He also texted me, no joke

Lance: Really?

Nyma: He is so fucking awkward

Pidge: Like, he started by asking if you had allergies or fears he should know about LOL

Lance: Awww that is sweet…and weird

Nyma: You are probably going to be saying that a lot over the course of your relationship

Pidge: LOL

Lance: LOL

Nyma: I am also going to dress him so he doesn’t wear something ugly

Lance: You put him in some ugly polos before

Nyma: That was mostly his mom!!! Take it back!

Lance: Fine, fine. No khakis

Nyma: No khakis. No polos.

Pidge: Let me help! I know what Lance likes! 

Lance: Pidge isn’t allowed to help she will make him look like an idiot on purpose

Pidge: I would never…

Nyma: You totally would!

Nyma: You better take care of my Keith though, Lance.  

Pidge: Gross

Lance: He is the one who is an asshole

Nyma: Yes, but he is our asshole now. Our fragile asshole

Lance: There is a gross joke somewhere in there

Nyma: Seriously though, I am happy for you guys

Lance: I am too. Pidge are you happy for us?

Pidge: Getting there. Nyma is making me like him more. She tells me embarrassing shit about him.

Nyma:  How can you hate someone who cried every time he spent the night away from home until he was like, 15

Lance: WHAT THE FUCK

Nyma: Ok I am exaggerating slightly but seriously he used to get homesick and go to the bathroom and cry during their away football trips.  

Pidge: That is your boyfriend. A crybaby. A big fat crybaby.  

Lance: you guys are being mean does he know you are telling people that?

Nyma: I already told him I let it slip around Pidge

Pidge: “Slip”

Pidge: I like him more now that I know I could make him cry, probably

Lance: I mean, that was never in doubt though

Nyma: Btw, you may or may not want to watch Land Before Time with him. It may or may not still make him cry.

Pidge: !!!!!!!

Lance: Ok, second date idea

Pidge: Can I come?

Lance: NO

Nyma: We should all hang out together again soon though.

Nyma: Pidge is showing me around your campus in a few weeks. Maybe we can do something then?

Lance: Sounds good if Keith and I still like each other then

Pidge: We can just leave him out if we need to

Nyma: Or just leave out both of them if they can’t make it work for two weeks

Lance: I don’t plan on breaking up in two weeks. But, if this date sucks…

Nyma: It wont suck! I’m helping!

Pidge: I am too!

Lance: oh my god

He exits the conversation, opening up Keith’s text messages.

**[Message Sent]**

Lance: Hey, hot stuff

He throws his phone on his bed before walking over to his closet and flinging open the doors.

_So, Keith is actually trying on this date_ , he thinks to himself. He may just need to go shopping for this.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally finished Voltron Season 2 and I am still processing. 
> 
>  
> 
> But that Blade of Marmora suit, right?


	16. Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance and Keith's first real date and Lance has a scary epiphany at the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so I wanted to have this up by Valentines Day but it just didn't happen. This is partially because my normal chapter length of like, 2500 words somehow became nearly 5000 words. Apparently, I am unable to control myself after actually letting them be a couple. 
> 
> Also, there is some sexual content in here and this marks when there will be more of that since they are finally getting on the same page. Nothing too graphic. 
> 
> Reference pictures to their outfits and the painting are posted in the end notes.

“Keith. Come on Keith. Please??”

“No.”

“Keeeeeeith.”

“I said no.”

“You are ruining the entire date for me.”

“You are being dramatic.”

“I will break up with you and tell everyone it was the worst date ever.”

“Lance…”

“And that you are a terrible kisser.”

“We both know you don’t really think that.”

“But that doesn’t matter. All that matters is that other people will think that.”

“God. Fine.”

Lance smiles, dragging Keith inside his apartment. It is their first date and Lance is going to make the most of it. He silently thanks Nyma for Keith’s outfit. He is wearing a basic black shirt and pants that, despite being simple, fit him perfectly. Then, a grey leather jacket that might have looked stupid in another context, but somehow went with Keith’s persona. He also looks comfortable which was probably a point of contention for Keith.  

Lance had nagged Nyma and Pidge for details about the date to decide what he should wear. They tell him to look casual nice, whatever that means. He settles on making the pants the money-maker in his outfit. He picks his tightest pair, the pair that almost looks like tights, that almost makes him have to tuck to wear them. He knows exactly what his ass looks like in them. Then, he throws on a simple shirt and blazer.

Before Keith arrives, He also dabs on some make up. Just a little eyeliner, a little bronzer to make his skin sparkle. His nails are painted dark, dark red, what he considers his signature color. He adds a few other accessories, a bracelet, a simple choker. He briefly wonders if it is too much, but then decides that it suits him. He knows he looks good. From Keith’s facial expression when he opens the door, he knows Keith thinks so as well.

Once inside, he pulls Keith to the living room before standing beside him and lifting his phone up in the air. He wants to immortalize this moment forever. His first real date that isn’t meeting someone at a party or a coffee shop and it’s with Keith. No way are they forgoing pictures. He even briefly considers making Pidge come over and take pictures of them.  

He settles for a few selfies. The first few are ruined by Keith glaring at the camera and apparently not knowing his angles. After some pointers, Lance literally posing his face for him, and some more whining, he finally gets a few that he thinks are worth keeping.

“Ok, I think we are good here.”

“What are you going to do with them?”

“Share them on literally every form of social media I have after sending them to literally everyone on my contacts list.”

Keith groans.

**********

 

They pull into Arigato, a sushi place not far from Lance’s house. Dinner is apparently the first stop of the night.

“Nice, I have never been here.”

“I know. You guys always go for the cheaper option on Fourth Street.”

“Did Pidge tell you that?”

“Maybe.”

They make their way inside. When they sit, Keith orders the couple’s special for them. He tells Lance to trust him and that it will be worth it.

They sit in silence for just a moment. It feels weird to be doing something romantic with Keith, and Lance feels uncharacteristically nervous. It was easier to hate Keith. It was easier being attracted to, but disliking Keith. It was easier when they were weird friends who talked on the phone sometimes. This feels different.

“A sushi place?” Lance finally breaks the silence.

“I did research. Pidge said you love sushi. Also, Nyma said that sushi is an ideal date food because it is light and…”

“No, no, this is wonderful, I agree, but I didn’t think YOU would like it.”

“Why wouldn’t I like it?”

“I don’t know, you are all like, athletic and stuff.”

Keith stares at him.

“I thought you would want to eat steak and potatoes or something. Like, a big raw steak.”

Keith snorts.

“I won’t turn down a steak, but you act like I am from Texas or something. I am Korean, you know.”

“Yeah, but you grew up in Canada and America.”

“My parents didn’t.”

“So you guys ate traditional Korean food?”

“Well, sometimes. I mean, it isn’t like my parents kept with old world ways completely, you know? We did tend to eat more seafood and veggies than I think most Americans eat. I definitely didn’t grow up eating lots of red meat and steaks.”

They make small talk about food for a few minutes before being interrupted by the waiter with their meal. Lance takes a moment to appreciate the table in front of him. The lights are dimmed and there is a candle on the table. The table is elegantly set. The sushi is the centerpiece though, a work of art. There is a big plate that is colorful and fresh looking. What he assumes to be salmon nigiri is laid out in the form of a heart in the middle of the plate. And then Keith is sitting across from him, smiling.

He can’t help himself. He pulls out his phone and snaps a picture.

“Oh my god.”

“Come on, don’t you want to document this moment?”

“Are you going to put that on Instagram?”

“I might! I am proud you know what Instagram is and that that is where food pictures go!”

They eat after Lance snaps off a few more pictures. He also prods Keith for more information. He didn’t actually know that much about Keith, now that he thinks about it. He learns more about his parents’ decision to move to Canada and then America. He learns more about Canada. Lance has never been, but Keith makes it sound nice. He apparently still has some friends from there that he keeps in contact with over email and text messages.

“So, how did you feel about moving to America?”

“Well, not good obviously. I was a kid and had a life that I liked. It was also weird in other ways.”

“Like?”

“There was actually a large Korean community in Canada where we lived. It was nice. That doesn’t exist in our town.”

Lance nods.

“So, not only was I not white, which most people around here are, but I was also Canadian, and also really gay. Like, give me a break, life.”

Lance laughs quietly, reaching out to touch Keith’s hand. Keith looks surprised for a moment, but doesn’t pull his hand back.  

“I think it’s part of the reason I threw myself into football. I like being active, but it’s not like I am in love with football or even having to do team sports and keep up with that schedule. But, oh man, people around here **will** respect you if you can win football games. I think it is the only reason I wasn’t completely ostracized by everyone.”

Lance tries to be very quiet and still. It is possibly the longest he has ever heard Keith talk about himself seriously, save for maybe one or two phone conversations. And those were mostly while he was intoxicated. He had never considered how Keith might have felt as a transplant to America, different in more ways than one. Lance knows what it was like to a certain extent. They lived in a predominantly conservative and white area. He knows some of those struggles, though the Latino population in the area is much, much larger than the Korean population. Plus, he had lived here all his life. He can’t imagine having to start over in a different country as a kid.  

He had never thought about it before, how lonely Keith might have felt, how some of his behavior was probably a way to protect himself. It doesn’t excuse him, not entirely, but Lance understands.

Lance really wants to ask about Keith’s parents too. But, something in him senses that this isn’t the right time, that that is a discussion to be saved for different circumstances, when Keith is ready.

“It was nice to find your brother though. He never used to treat me like I was different or bad or anything.”

Lance notes the past tense in his word choice.

“Has he spoken to you yet?”

“He texted and apologized. We are getting together next week to talk. Is it going to be awful? Every time we talk now it is weird or we end up arguing.”

“Just don’t be an asshole.”

“Hey!”

“I am serious. You are actually likable when you aren’t…being Keith.”

“When I am not being myself?”

“I didn’t mean it like that.”

“I am not even entirely sure who myself is anymore.”

Lance squeezes his hand.

“And that is ok. See. That is likable. Being defensive and angry is not. Anthony is a nice guy and he cares about you. Ok?”

Keith nods.

Lance still has his hand on Keith’s when the waiter comes with the bill. 

 

*********

 

“This is ....this is....”

“What?” Keith says defensively.

“Surprisingly romantic and unique. I was expecting flag football or something. Or you getting drunk and groping me in some club.”

“Both of those were on the list of possibilities. The second one might still happen tonight.”

They are standing just inside the door of a Paint and Sip place, their second stop of the night. It is a place where a painting instructor guides you through painting a predetermined painting. Usually, customers are allowed to bring their own alcohol, drinks, or snacks. It isn’t what Lance expects out of a date with Keith, but it isn’t unwelcome either. He even chose a couple’s version of one where two people paint matching sides of a canvas that, when placed together, become a single painting.

The painting tonight is a sunset of sorts with white stars, or maybe just sparkles, on the background. Then, there are two dark trees with branches meeting in the middle. On the branches, the silhouettes of two birds touching beaks. It is perfect. Lance eagerly grabs Keith’s hand and smiles. Keith blushes.  

“What is in the thermoses?”

“Typically, you bring wine but neither of us seem classy enough for wine so I made us a rum drink. Also some Chex mix if you get hungry. The class is several hours long.”  

“Damn Keith you actually thought this out.”

“You have no idea…”

The class is held in a large studio space with stools. On the tables are blank canvasses and other painting materials. The space is large enough accommodate a large group of people while still leaving some privacy for each couple. A large example version of the painting they would be completing hangs at the front of the studio space.  

Lance sits on his stool, running his fingers down the blank canvas. It is delightfully cheesy and Lance loves it. He turns to look at Keith and frowns when he sees the stern look on his face. He scowls, looking off into the distance.

“Dude, what's wrong?”

“It's nothing.”

“You can't say that. You look mad.”

“I'm not angry. It's just my face.”

“Your face looks angrier than it did at dinner. Did I do something?”

Keith mumbles something under his breath, looking downward now.

“What? Come on, speak up.”

“I've never painted before.”

Lance sits for a moment before registering what he said and then laughs before he can stop himself.  

“That is it? I thought you were suddenly mad at me or something. Just relax. This is supposed to be fun, not something that stresses you out.”

“My side will look bad. I don’t want to ruin our painting.”

 _Our painting._ Lance flushes.

“It's not like I am Picasso or something. Here drink your rum it will make you feel better.”

At this point, the instructor begins speaking, introducing himself as Coran. He is a tall man with orange red hair and an epic moustache. He begins by giving a brief summary of the paint colors they need and different brushes they would use. He clarifies how to mix the paints, if necessary, and that he would be walking around and helping. He ends his opening speech by talking about the nature of love for a few moments. 

“Now, keep in mind, this is about the love you feel for the person beside you. Put that love into your work! Let that love guide your brush!”

Lance steals glances at Keith while listening to Coran’s initial speech. Keith looks like he is in a lecture. His face is serious and Lance wouldn’t have been surprised to see him pull out a pad of paper and start to take notes. His face remains serious even with the cheesy last lines about love.

They finally start their paintings. Lance dips his paintbrush, swirling the purple dark paint that will make the outer edges of the canvas. He strokes the brush on the canvas until he likes what it looks like, smooth and a lighter color than the example hanging at the front of the studio.

He looks at Keith again who looks like he is about to perform open heart surgery.

“Dude, you are cracking me up. Relax.” He says while shoving one of the thermoses in Keith’s face.

“I don’t want my side to suck.”

He nevertheless takes a drink.

They begin working on the inner reds, oranges, and yellows toward the center of the background. Lance lets the rum and the surprisingly good time he is having warm him and guide his strokes. He eases the paint on the canvas, brushing it into smooth patterns, vibrant swirls. When he is mostly pleased with the result, he glances at Keith. Keith is gripping his paintbrush probably a bit too hard, struggling to gain the same fluidity of motion. He still looks concerned. Lance can’t help himself. He carefully digs his phone out again, quietly raising it to snap a picture.  Keith jerks his head toward him, glaring.

“Really?”

“You look adorable right now.”

Keith smiles and Lance snaps another picture.

“You need to take pictures of yourself. You are the pretty one.”

“You are pretty too.”

“Yeah but you are prettier.”

“Ok, we need to stop, this conversation is gross even to me.” Lance realizes he is blushing again.

When they are done with the background, the instructor tells them to take a few minutes to let the canvas dry, helping it along with hair dryers. They quietly blow dry their canvasses while finishing the rest of their rum drinks.  Then, it is finally time to begin the trees.

“Hey guys, how is it going?” Coran asks pleasantly, coming up behind them. Lance wonders if Keith’s stress over getting his tree right was obvious enough to bring the man over.

“He’s worried about his branches,” Lance offers. Lance likes doing the branches. There is something freeing and satisfying about creating the little tendrils spreading across his side of the canvas. He lets the paintbrush and rum guide his hands, creating a whimsical looking tree compared to the example.

Keith’s look straight, too straight to be branches of a tree.

“Here,” Coran says and helps guide Keith’s hand through a branch or two. “Just relax and let your imagination and feelings do the work. It doesn’t have to be perfect. Remember, these are loving branches that are reaching out toward your boyfriend’s.” He smiles here and Keith looks in-between wanting to vomit and taking his words seriously.

When he leaves, Lance leans over.

“Yeah, reach out to me, honey.”

“Your pet names are awful.”

“What would you prefer?”

“Just Keith.”

“That’s boring.”

“Ok, try some others.”

“Sugar.”

“No.”

“Bae.”

“No.”

“Baby.”

“No.”

“Pumpkin.”

“No.”  

“Angel.”

“No.”

“Cupcake.”

“No.”

“Daddy.”

Keith’s hand jerks across the canvas, making one hell of a branch reaching toward the bottom half of the canvas.

“Look what you made me do!”

Lance puts his hand over his mouth.

“Oh my god, you liked that, didn’t you?”

“No!” Keith looks forlornly at the canvas, trying to brush at the branch to make it match the rest of the painting.

Lance watches him struggle for a moment and then grabs his hand, stilling the paintbrush. He gently pushes Keith’s hand away from the canvas. “See, the thing about painting is that you can make it whatever you want it to be, babe.” Lance looks Keith in the eyes before taking his own paintbrush and making a similar looking branch on his side of the canvas, reaching toward Keith’s misshapen one. It is prettier and more finessed than what Keith did, but now they look like they match again, the two branches reaching for one another. 

“See?” he leans close to Keith, almost close enough to nuzzle his hair.

Keith looks up at him, eyes blazing, biting his lower lip, and for a moment absolutely nothing exists outside of the two of them. Lance takes a shaky breath, unable to tear his eyes away from Keith. Keith leans forward and Lance wants this, wants to kiss him so much, wants…

“Wow, some good improvisation going on here!” Coran chirps behind their backs. Lance jumps at the sudden intrusion, then blushes and faces his canvas again. The moment is lost and they spend a few minutes quietly finessing their branches.  

“That one. That one is ok.” Keith breaks the silence.

“Daddy?” Lance squeaks.

“No, you idiot. Babe.”

Lance grins.

“Aw, babe.”

“Don’t overuse it.”

Their paintings are almost complete once the branches dry. Lance’s side is lighter and more whimsical, swirls in the paint giving it a textured appearance. Keith’s is darker, more saturated with bolder lines. He is also a paint hog, having to go back to get more paint several times compared to Lance.

All that is missing now is the final step-the birds touching beaks in the middle.

The birds in the example are fairly non-descript, just basic silhouettes of birds. As Lance starts to pick up his brush, he grabs Keith’s hand, suddenly struck with inspiration.

“Stop.”

“What? Why?”

“Let me paint your bird.”

“What?”

“I will paint your bird on your canvas and it will represent you. Then you paint my bird on my canvas and it will represent me.”

“That is…”

“Remember we are on a date.”

“That is stupid.”

“Come on, please? It will be fun.”

He lays his head down on Keith’s shoulder, pouting.

Keith sighs, but agrees, patting Lance on the head before switching places with him. Lance begins working on his bird, smiling. It is the perfect Keith bird.

When they were both finished, they unveil their birds to each other.

“Explain your Lance bird,” Lance says, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Uh, I mostly kept it the same except I made it happier. Like, its mouth is open because it’s singing and its wing is flapping because it’s happy.”

Keith doesn’t make eye contact while he is saying this and Lance wants to die. He feels very warm all of a sudden.  

“I like my happy bird.” Lance says, holding Keith’s hand. _Holy shit, we are actually having a good time_ , he thinks to himself.

“Explain your Keith bird. It looks like the example and this was your idea.”

“KEITH I am offended. This is the most Keith bird possible.” He points.

“You…you gave the bird long hair.”

“NO. I gave it a mullet and bangs.” 

“I hate you so much.”

“Keith!!”

“I made your bird nice.”

“I made yours nice too.”

“You made fun of my hair. Maybe I should just cut it all off.”

“NO!” Lance says, maybe a bit too loudly, drawing the attention of some of the people around them.

“No,” he continues, softer. “I mean, come on Keith, isn’t it obvious that I love your hair? You aren’t allowed to cut it unless I tell you that you can.”

“That is weird.”

“It is my right as your boyfriend.”

The night finally draws to an end after they dry their paintings and eventually make their way outside to their car.

“So, who is keeping them?” Lance says.

“Obviously you.”

“You need it more.”

“Why?”

“Your room is so depressing and boring and dark. This will make it livelier.”

“I rent a room in a house with 8 other guys. I am not keeping anything I care about there.”

“I mean, it would look nice in my apartment, but that doesn’t feel right.”

Keith is silent for a moment.

“Ok, how about this. You keep the Keith side and I keep the Lance side.  Then, if we ever…take this further, this…relationship, we can eventually reunite them.”

“Jesus.” Lance runs his hands through his hair.

“Is that a terrible idea?”

“No, it is so sweet. Did you hit your head?”

Keith glares at him.  

“I mean, seriously. I feel like I am talking to some clone of Keith or something. When did you become so romantic?”

“Maybe I just needed the right guy in my life.”

Lance doesn’t think he can physically get redder than he is at this moment. His brain fails in providing him some snappy or funny retort to lighten the moment.

Instead, they look at each for a moment. Lance steps forward, wanting to be closer to Keith, wanting to kiss him. Keith leans into him, a tender expression on his face.

“Hey guys, glad you had fun! You should come back some time!” Coran yells out as he walks to his car.

“Jeeze,” Lance mutters under his breath after jerking away from Keith.    

“Thanks, we will!” Keith says back.

They get into Keith’s car and sit for a moment.  

“So like…this is as far as I planned, sort of.”

“What do you mean sort of?”

“Well, I am going to walk you to your door and give you a goodnight kiss…”

“Jesus, you really scripted this night out didn’t you?”

“Do you want to go for a walk?”

“A walk?”

“You know the area better than I do, but maybe we can go to a park or something, walk around, and talk?”

Lance reads the implicit “I don’t want the night to end yet” in his request.

“Sure, there is a little park next to downtown actually. It has trees and stuff, but it’s well-lit and we probably won’t get robbed there.”

 

*********

 

He guides Keith to the little park. Once there, he forces him to take one last selfie, this time outside the decorative and well-known archway that leads into the park. Then, they walk down one of the paths, occasionally passing other people, another couple, a dad with his toddler, a group of teenagers. Lance shivers a bit and regrets leaving his blazer in the car. The studio had been warm.  Keith offers him his jacket. He is about to refuse, but finds himself accepting it anyway. The jacket feels good on his shoulders. At some point, they are holding hands, and Lance doesn’t know who reached for whom first. They are both quiet. It isn’t an uncomfortable silence though. Lance feels comfortable just doing this, just being by Keith’s side.

They are rounding a corner near some rose bushes when Lance looks at Keith. The other man looks thoughtful, the dull light of the streetlights warming his face.

“What are you thinking about?” Lance says.

“I had a good time tonight.”

“So did I.”

“I want to kiss you.”

“Then why don’t you?”

Keith stops, turning to face him, before leaning up and kissing him. It is gentle and sweet and Lance melts. Hadn’t he been wanting this from the very moment he opened the door that night? Had he ever not wanted this?

They kiss quietly for a minute or two before Lance feels….something. He smirks.

“Aren’t you getting a little excited from just a kiss in public.” Without thinking, he reaches out and rubs between Keith’s legs.

Keith whimpers, grabbing his arm. They make eye contact for a moment and Lance winks at him without thinking. Then, Keith pulls him into one of the wooded areas of the park. He leads him to a corner that Lance supposes is private before leaning him against one of the trees.

“You are so fucking hot, I have been wanting to do this since I got to your apartment,” he whispers in Lance’s ear before kissing him again.  

The kissing this time is harder, hotter. Lance’s threat earlier in the night of telling everyone that Keith is a bad kisser would have been a complete lie. Keith was born to do this, to push him against something and kiss him until he is breathless. It is the only time during the night that Keith seems confident, licking inside Lance’s mouth, nibbling on his lower lip.

Keith’s hands go under Lance’s shirt, feeling the soft skin of his stomach and sides. Lance works his knee between Keith’s legs and Keith grinds down on it.

Lance wonders if he can blame the rum for what is happening right now. Keith’s hips dig into Lance harder, weight rocking on his knee. Lance himself is now rock hard and cursing the fact that they didn’t just go home. _Oh God,_ Lance thinks. _We are dry humping in public. This is happening._   

Then, suddenly, Keith stiffens and shudders. He goes still a moment later, laying his head on Lance’s shoulder.

“Did you…Did you just…”

Keith cuts him off with a furious kiss on the mouth. Lance jerks in surprise when he realizes that Keith is unbuttoning his pants.

“Wait, Keith…”

“No. I am not going to be the only one to come in their pants tonight.”

Later, Lance will laugh at that, but for now all he feels is the glory of Keith’s hand, wrapping around him. It only takes two jerks before he is done, crying out as he comes.

They sit in silence for a few moments, Keith’s head still on his shoulder, Lance’s knee still between Keith’s legs. Suddenly, Keith is shaking.

“Hey, you ok?” Lance pushes Keith back so he can look at his face.

Keith’s face is flushed as he bursts into laughter.

“Oh my god, look at us, two perverts dry humping in public.”

Suddenly, the situation is wildly funny to Lance as well and he starts to laugh too.

“Can you imagine if one of those families saw us?”

“Oh god, we both came in our pants like we are 13 year olds.”

“We have to walk out of here like this!”

They laugh, clinging to one another. Lance pulls Keith into a hug and nestles his head against the other man’s. He enjoys the sound of Keith’s carefree laughter. Lance holds him tightly against him, feeling the vibrations of his amusement.   

 

*********

 

Lance lays in bed later that night, after being walked to the door and getting a goodnight kiss of course, scrolling through his phone, thinking about the night. The first pictures are the selfies. Keith looks angry in the first few pictures, scowling at the camera. Lance goes through his standard selfie poses, ignoring the boy beside him for the most part. A few pictures in and Keith finally smiles. There is one where Lance is nuzzling Keith’s face. Then there is one where Lance is smiling at the camera, but Keith is looking at him and smiling.

Lance pushes his face into his pillow for a moment before taking a deep breath and continuing.

The sushi is next. He only took a few pictures here. The table looks beautiful and Keith actually manages not to scowl in these, sitting across the table with chopsticks in his hand. He looks ridiculously attractive in the shirt Nyma probably picked for him, soft light splaying across his face.

“Oh no,” Lance whimpers before scrolling further down his pictures.

He reaches the painting pictures. The first is Keith frowning at his canvas, lost in his work. It is a good picture. Not romantic, but somehow captures a side of Keith that Lance rarely sees. The next is Keith turned, scowling at the camera, paintbrush clenched in his hand. The next is the same, but smiling instead, an easy smile, an affectionate smile. 

The final picture is the selfie from the park. No posing. Just them smiling at the camera. Keith looks happy. Lance looks happy.

_Oh fuck._

_Fuck my life._

There is, or was a part of Lance that suspects that whatever is happening between him and Keith is mostly physical. This worries him, that he made some flash decision to date someone just because he is horny and lonely and jealous of a rugby player. He still isn’t sure if his feelings extend beyond physical attraction and maybe friendship. Does he love Keith? Would he ever be in love with Keith? Does he have actual feelings for Keith? Couldn't every time he felt something for Keith be explained away by hormones? These doubts eat at him and have ever since he told Keith, somewhat impulsively, that he wanted to date him. There are no take-backsies now that wouldn’t hurt someone or make life awkward.

But, now. Lance puts his hands over his face. This night. Here. Keith. Holding hands. Cuddling. Keith’s hesitant voice telling him about his life. Keith. Wearing his jacket. Feeding each other sushi. Keith’s shaking hand as he drew each branch. Kissing. Hands on his stomach. His laughter. Keith.

_Fuck._

**[Message Sent]**

Lance: Pidge, I think I have a crush on Keith.  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, for some reason I saved these in the worst way possible and will come back tomorrow and source them better. But here are ref pictures. Also, I need to sort my life out and figure out how to make actual links on here. 
> 
> The painting  
> http://i64.tinypic.com/14nfdec.jpg
> 
> Lance  
> http://thejeansblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/rag-bone-fit-0-jeans.jpg  
> http://static.zara.net/photos///2017/V/0/2/p/1887/444/250/2/w/560/1887444250_2_7_1.jpg?ts=1486555764175  
> http://litbimg4.rightinthebox.com/images/240x312/201512/jhvvwq1450087819230.jpg
> 
> Keith  
> https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/4e/0a/81/4e0a8130c170c394a75e6f84abe2437b.jpg  
> https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/30/3c/7f/303c7f8db63bbbdafd4db93a697cb679.jpg  
> Then just imagine a pair of basic black pants (lets make them tight skinny pants for Lance)


	17. Red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance and Keith are a gross couple. Also, bonus chapter-Keith's POV!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I haven't updated in 100 years, but I got sick and then got behind at work. I seriously had nightmares about losing my job.  
> However, I have this chapter and also managed to write Keith's POV. Some people asked for that and it never felt quite right to put it in the actual story? So, I posted it as a new work. You don't need to read it to still read Parasol. But, if you want to read it, then I made a series called Parasol and Extras linked above where you can find it. Keith gets kind of creepier than I expected in it :X 
> 
> Also, there is sexual content in this chapter.

Lance feels ridiculous, but part of being in a relationship is doing activities that both parties like and that includes hanging out with Keith’s friends and apparently playing flag football on Saturday afternoons. He also looks somewhat ridiculous, wearing shorts that are maybe a tad shorter than what everyone else is wearing paired with knee high socks. He knows his legs look great, but maybe today isn’t the day to show off that fact to everyone. It isn’t exactly his crowd, but he is relieved when his brother decides to come as well and that everyone else who shows is, as Keith puts it, “cool.” He is introduced to “the guys” (Todd, Trevor, Connor, and Jamal, though Lance would probably never keep their names straight) as Keith’s boyfriend and Anthony’s brother. Their girlfriends are also there and Lance hopes he can at least outshine them and also possibly not embarrass himself too much during the course of the afternoon.

His hopes are soon dashed once the game starts and he discovers that the girls that he hoped would be princess types are just as aggressive and athletic as their boyfriends. One leaves Lance in the dust, laughing as she scores the first touchdown of the day. Her name is Kyra and Lance quickly discovers he likes her even though she is kicking his ass.

Lance finds his groove though and soon realizes that being tall with long arms and also being fast gives him an edge. He finds his groove defensively.

He also finds himself actually having fun, cheering his team members on, high fiving his brother, and winking and making faces at Keith on the other team in-between plays. He gets Keith to blush at least once and considers it his greatest accomplishment of the afternoon. Another time, he brushes against Keith a little too suggestively to be “defense,” earning him a poke in the side and a grin from Keith.  

His brother and Keith had, at some point, kissed and made up (metaphorically of course). Neither would clue Lance in on exactly what happened, but he is happy about it, happy to see his dream of them being three bros together actually coming true. Lance feels warmth spread in his chest when he sees Anthony and Keith fist bump, mostly at ease in each other’s presence again.

Toward the end of the game, Anthony pulls him aside.

“Hey, you are really tall and they aren’t expecting me to throw to you. Run right there,” Anthony points to a tree “and stick your hands up. I will throw it literally into your hands.”

Lance nods. He has seen what Anthony can do on the field and if he says the ball will come to your hands then it will.

When the play starts, Lance runs like hell, puts his hands up, and closes his eyes, probably a bad decision on his part. However, somehow, miraculously, he feels the ball hit his hands a second later. He grabs it and runs into the makeshift endzone.  

Trevor (or Connor?) smacks his ass in celebration and Lance reminds himself that this is a football thing. Keith, on the other side of the field, seems to be reminding himself also that this is a football thing. His brother gives him a hug that lifts him partially off the ground.  

He finds himself defending against Keith a play or two later. They had decided that Lance should be on a different team than Keith and Lance is only okay with this decision since he is allowed to be on Anthony’s team. Keith is, understandably, a better football player than Lance. He is faster, stronger, but perhaps most importantly, way more experienced. All Lance has on him is a few inches in height which doesn’t even seem like a benefit since Keith can jump freakishly high.

Lance ponders the best way to stop Keith from catching the ball, knowing that Todd (or Connor?) knows that Keith outmatches Lance in this situation.  Lance really, really doesn’t want Keith to score on him. Once Keith is focused, there is little to stop him though, eyes somehow trained on Lance and the ball at the same time, ready to pivot at a moment’s notice, focused, concentrated, already mentally mapping out the invisible grid of the field and his possible routes to victory.  

Lance can’t compete so he does what he does best and uses strategy. As soon as Jamal (or Connor?) begins to throw the ball toward Keith, Lance turns and brings his knee directly up between Keith’s legs. Keith’s eyes widen and he drops his hands quickly in the universal male protection stance. Lance stops himself just short of actually kneeing him, twisting away at the last moment. Keith growls, turning toward the ball again, but his body isn’t in the right position anymore. He cannot rotate and jump quite fast enough so the ball slips through his fingers and falls dead to the ground.  

“That was cheating!” he yells immediately.

“What?” Lance says innocently, batting his eyelashes.

“You little shit,” Keith grabs his arms, playfully.

“Anthony, Keith’s being mean!” Lance screams. 

Anthony laughs loudly and they have a short debate whether that would actually be considered pass interference or not. During the playful, yet heated discussion, Keith sneakily holds his hand, smiling in his direction as he offers his own thoughts on the matter.  

Afterward, they say goodbye to almost everyone. Lance receives a few genuine invitations to come back again next week and makes a shopping date with Kyra who is actually transferring to Lance’s college next semester.  He follows Keith into the locker room and Connor (Lance is sure this time, this is definitely Connor) goes to take a shower. Lance turns and looks at Keith as quiet fills the locker room. Keith is standing very still, looking back at him. He has this habit of going completely blank sometimes and Lance struggles to figure out what he is feeling or thinking. Sometimes, it creeps Lance out just a bit. He is doing it now, unreadable, gazing at Lance with a guarded facial expression.  

“So, I guess I kind of sucked out there, kind of embarrassing right?” Lance finally breaks the silence.

“You’re kidding, right? You didn’t suck, but even if you did it wouldn’t matter.”

“Really? Why?”

“You looked so fucking hot I could barely keep my hands off you.”

“Whoa Keith, 0-100 there.”  

Keith walks over and kisses him hard, lacing his hand in his hair behind his head, pulling him close.  

“I am serious. You have no idea how much I wanted to do this the entire game.”

He kisses him again and, in the back of Lance’s mind, he realizes that they should probably wait for home. However, the sudden stimulation leaves him breathless. Keith is an intensely good kisser. He gently grinds his body against Lance, drawing small whimpers from his throat.  

Keith pulls back, a competitive glint in his eye.

“Since your team won, because of your cheating by the way, maybe we can play another game.”

“Oh yeah?”

“I bet I can get you off in five minutes or less.”

“Keith, what the fuck.”

“Afraid you will lose?”

“We are kind of in public.”

“No one is around. Connor is still in the shower.”

Keith rubbed against Lance.

“Keith…”

“It’s fine, if you think you will lose…”

“Oh hell no. Fine. Five minutes or less. Do your worst.”

Keith looks at his phone because, of course, he actually means to time this to the second. Then he turns and looks at Lance, a predatory look in his eyes.

“Lean against the wall,” he orders, and Lance’s stomach churns with desire. Keith very rarely speaks to him in this tone anymore, but there is a part of Lance that reacts to it every time.

He obeys and then watches dumbly as Keith slides to his knees. This isn’t even remotely on the list of possible scenarios Lance could have imagined in his wildest dreams.

A million thoughts scramble through his head as Keith reaches for him. _No one has ever done this to me before oh god oh my god I’m all sweaty jesus let me take a shower first what if someone walks in we didn’t even go to a shower stall or something…_

And then nothingness-white seers his brain-a blank slate-all the points of  the universe, every atom, all the stardust in the world, all converging on this point, when Lance Alvarez gets his first blowjob.

He understands why Keith had him lean against the wall because, without it, he would have collapsed. As it stands, he can barely control his knees, clamping a hand over his mouth, trying to focus on anything that would keep him grounded. He trembles, needing the wall and a hand on Keith’s shoulder to keep himself upright.

His hips buck forward into the best feeling in the world and he can die happy. It is perfectly fine to Lance if he dies at this very moment because nothing will ever be better than what he feels right now.  

And then it’s over.

He looks down after a moment of enjoying his very existence to see a smug looking Keith holding up his phone.

“Three minutes,” he says, smirking.

Lance feels weak, knees still trembling a bit, partially being held up by the wall, taking in the sight of Keith on his knees before him. It is the most beautiful thing he has ever seen.

He puts his hand on Keith’s cheek and realizes, with a stutter of his heartbeat, that there is just a little bit of cum dribbling out of the side of Keith’s mouth. Without thinking, he uses his finger to scoop it up.

“Missed some, babe,” he says before, as if watching himself in a dream, he sticks his finger in Keith’s ear and gives him a wet willy with it.

Keith actually gasps, smacking his hand away.

“You…I literally just…and this is how you repay me!” Keith stands up, putting his hands on Lance’s shoulders and pressing him into the wall. Then, he kisses him.

Lance is confused for a moment, expecting a wedgie or something in retaliation. Keith’s tongue is deep in his mouth when he realizes where Keith’s tongue had just been.

“Fucking gross.” He pushes him away.

“Yeah, like the taste of that? Huh?” Keith says, before kissing him again.

They are both giggling and Lance is trying to avoid Keith’s lips when they hear a locker open behind them.

“Get a room!” Connor yells playfully.

Lance is relieved that Keith is directly in front of him, realizing with a grimace that he is still exposed from Keith’s choice of after-game activities.

Keith turns his head slightly to Connor.

“Whatever, see you next Saturday,” he says at the same time as carefully pulling Lance’s shorts back up. He makes direct eye contact with Lance while doing it, winking and then waving as Connor leaves the locker room.

Lance feels weak in the knees for a different reason.

 

**********

 

After showering and changing, they make their way back to Keith’s. Lance has to leave soon-earlier than usual due to a big test he has coming up on Monday. He is finding it hard to leave though. Keith is ridiculously cuddly and affectionate person for being such a closed off guy in other ways. Lance has to admit that, in general, he is enjoying dating Keith. They had been on a few more dates, some casual, some more formal. Keith is an attentive boyfriend. He is exciting, but also makes Lance feel really comfortable. It is easy to fall into Keith, to slip into the rhythm of being Keith’s.

Sometimes Lance feels like falling for Keith is like being on a sinking ship, one he doesn’t have the strength to swim away from as it pulls him down into the depths below.

They alternate weekends spent together between Lance’s place and Keith’s. All in all, Lance is happy and even very generally beginning to think of scary words like “the future” since both of them would be graduating soon.  

It is these moments before they say their goodbyes until the next weekend that really get to him though. They usually curl up in bed together for a while, just holding each other, Keith massaging Lance’s back or Lance playing with Keith’s hair. These are quiet, content moments for Lance, moments where Lance feels growing affection for Keith that drifts closer and closer to a word he still hasn’t quite brought himself to say to Keith yet.

Today is no different. Keith is being the little spoon today, tucked into Lance’s body, holding his hand in front of his body. Lance pulls him close, kisses the back of his neck, wonders simultaneously how they got here and why they didn’t get here sooner.

He wonders if he should say it. If now is the right time. If Keith would say it back.

The moment is ruined by a knocking on the door.

“Keith!” a voice yells into the room.

“What?” Keith yells back.

“Your parents are here!”

The warmth of the moment disappears in an instant as Keith stiffens beside Lance. The room goes cold as Keith looks back at Lance in panic.

“Hey, it is ok.” Lance says, standing up, realizing that cuddling in bed is probably not a great idea if his parents are about to come through the door.

“I get it, ok,” Lance says, touching his boyfriend’s arm. Keith nods. A moment later, they walk down the stairs. He sees Keith’s mom standing in the living room, wrinkling her nose at the admittedly gross, green-colored furniture.

“Hi, Mom.”

“Keith.” she says back while looking at Lance.

“This is Anthony’s younger brother Lance, you remember him right?”

“Yes,” she says, not a bit of warmth in her smile or eyes.

“Hi Mrs. Kogane, I was just leaving! Have a good afternoon!” He tries to appear as polite as possible, shooting one last grim smile at Keith before leaving.

He waves at Mr. Kogane who is sitting in the car, but the man is fiddling with the radio and does not look at him.

Lance feels a growing sickness in his stomach as he drives away. He understands the situation and he understands that, at the moment, leaving is the best thing for him to do. He knows at some point him and Keith need to talk about it more, but he isn’t holding Keith’s parents against him, or the fact that Keith is struggling with how he feels about his parents against him either.

However, he can’t help but feel like he is leaving something very important behind him in the rearview mirror, something that he should be protecting right now rather than leaving alone.

That there is a place inside Keith that Lance cannot reach, not yet, maybe not ever. A pain that Lance hopes isn’t festering.

He remembers telling Keith that his parents don’t love him and winces. They are words he can never take back. They are words he regrets.

He goes home and studies, but finds himself distracted.

**[Message Sent]**

Lance: Hey babe, everything alright?

By the time he is about to go to sleep, Keith still hasn’t responded. Lance frowns.

**[Message Sent]**

Lance: Goodnight!

He begins typing “I lo” before stopping himself, and deleting it.

When he wakes up the next morning, there is still no response and Lance spends more time than he cares to admit looking at his text messages, hoping to see the “…” pop up.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why Lance why.


	18. Cherish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance overthinks everything when Keith pulls away from him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I have finally decided on an end for this fic. It will end with Chapter 20 so two more after this.   
> I am also doing Keith's Parasol, a four part fic that shows his POV on what happens. The second part of that was posted a day or two ago.   
> Finally, I am also doing a smut chapter lol. That will be posted as an "extra" in the Parasol series linked above and below I believe. So, if you want an entire chapter of just them banging, it is coming! 
> 
> Because I have lost control of my life, I am already outlining a new Klance fic that will start after this one. I actually want this one to be in canon universe (and less focused on Klance? So, the relationship will be slightly more background compared to Parasol), so I am literally watching the entire series start to finish and taking notes. It is weird how you forget stuff? Like, how DO the doors work in the castle?

"…and then Keith got a gutter ball after that you should have seen his face!”  

Pidge looks completely done with him, barely holding back an eye roll, idly stirring the tea sitting in front of her. Nyma is smirking beside her.  

"Uh, that's great buddy," Hunk replies.

They are sitting in Kerberos and Lance is starting to think that maybe he talks about Keith too much.

“So you really seem to like him, don’t you?” Rolo asks, sitting on the other side of Nyma.

Lance just smiles, stupidly, because he is happy, really happy. Happy and light and warm and smothering himself in Keith.

“I’m just saying, I get to be Best Man…Woman or Maid of Honor or whatever they call it at the wedding,” Nyma says.

“Who said we are getting married?” Lance looks at Pidge for support.  

“Your stupid dopey face whenever you talk about him,” Pidge says, rolling her eyes.  

“I mean, you do love him right?” Hunk drops the word into the conversation like it is nothing.  

It is the word that Lance has been dancing around for weeks now. He sips his coffee and lets silence fall over the group for a few moments.

“Yes, I do. I think I am in love with him." He says it quickly, putting his hand over his mouth.

Hunk and Rolo give simultaneous reactions that are similar to the time they saw a small dog wearing a raincoat walking down the sidewalk. Nyma looks smug. She had taken to telling people she called it before anyone else did.

It is Pidge that Lance cares about the most though. He needs her approval or at least wants her to support him. He catches her eyes and his smile dims just a bit. She rolls her eyes again, but with a smile. She reaches out and pats his hand, just once, but it is enough.  

“So, do I get to be Best Man for Lance? Or I guess one of his stupid brothers would get to do it,” she says.  

“Come on, we don’t have to be traditional here, we can have a big wedding party. Everyone gets to wear uncomfortable clothes for the evening and take thousands of pictures!” Lance replies.

“I want to note that this is not an exaggeration on Lance’s part-he will literally expect thousands of photos of everyone,” Pidge says.  

In truth, a wedding is something that, for Lance, is years upon years down the road, if it happens at all. But, those are years that he sees himself spending with Keith, going out for sushi, supporting each other, kicking his ass at video games. He contemplates the idea of wanting a forever with someone and it is a concept that is both scary and welcoming.

He also thinks about next steps to take, moments they hadn’t shared yet as a couple. He first needs to work up the courage to tell Keith what he had just told pretty much their entire friend group.

 

Earlier in the day, Lance went shopping and picked up several presents for Keith. He keeps most of them in a bag near his door, ready to give Keith next time he saw him. He hopes that Keith will like them.

He keeps one of them, something symbolic of another “next step,” secret though, saving it for another time, hidden away on the floor of his closet, though he hopes he can share it with Keith soon.

Lance is ready.

**********

For all of Lance’s previous thoughts of forevers and weddings, he has the nagging suspicion that something is wrong between him and Keith.

He had called Keith the next day after his parents’ left and after Keith ignored a few of his texts. He knew it was an awkward moment and wanted to make sure Keith was ok. Keith seemed normal, apologizing for not texting sooner. Nothing seemed amiss for a few days so Lance assumes that everything is fine.  

But, then, seemingly overnight, Keith starts being less engaged than usual. He cuts off their nightly phone calls early. He isn’t answering texts as quickly as before. Lance knows he is being a bit ridiculous, but he can also feel the difference between the near immediate responses before to the several hours later responses now.

Keith texts and cancels their next phone call completely. It isn’t anything that seems unreasonable. Keith is busy. He is dealing with complicated family stuff. He is always apologetic and promises they will talk more soon.

It isn’t until he says he can’t see Lance the next weekend that Lance really starts to get worked up. They see each other, in some capacity, every weekend. They had since they started dating. Sometimes they didn’t spend the entire weekend together, but always at least a night.   

Worry settles deep in Lance’s stomach. He knows the most likely explanation is that Keith is dealing with parent stuff. He knows and understands that it is a tricky situation. He respects that Keith may need some space.

But, no one does overthinking better than Lance. He googles what it means when a boyfriend starts texting you less. It is a mistake. Most of the responses seem to indicate that he is likely cheating or about to break up with you. Lance can’t believe it, won’t believe it. He starts to get a bit angry. They had put work into this. He had communicated not only once, but a lot. He had been honest about his feelings. They had hours of heart-to-heart talks. He had forgiven Keith, truly and entirely. He feels like just being with Keith made him grow up, become more of an adult, someone who can communicate and be honest and love someone else despite their faults. He had put effort into Keith.

Lance, not known for being calm, decides that Keith doesn’t get to just blithely cancel weekend plans with his boyfriend. So, after his last class on Friday, he stocks up on most of his presents (except for the one on the closet floor) and drives to Keith’s house anyway.

As he stalks up to his bedroom, letting himself into the house and ignoring strange looks from two of the other boys who live there, he briefly considers how stupid he will feel if Keith isn’t even there. Keith’s excuse was that he had to study this weekend. He could be at the library. Or maybe he did go home or maybe he is with Nyma and maybe Lance is being crazy right now. But, he is already at Keith’s bedroom door and he doesn’t see another option but to move forward.

He opens the door and doesn’t see anyone. He steps inside and, on closer inspection, sees lumps on the bed. Lumps with an “s” as in multiple lumps under the comforter.

Feeling sick, Lance grits his teeth. If Keith is there with another guy, then he would soon understand the phrase “making a scene” on a whole other level.

He stalks over to the bed, grabbing the ends of the comforter and pulling it off with one hard pull. He is ready for a fight, but looking down changes everything.

Keith is curled up in his boxers on the bed cuddling against a pile of pillows. As soon as Lance pulls the covers off him, his eyes pop open.

“What the fuck?” He jumps up, looking at Lance like Lance is the crazy one.

_Oops I guess I kind of am right now,_ Lance thinks.

Lance is suddenly unable to speak, fighting the urge to laugh.

“What are you doing here, Lance?”

“I’m your boyfriend I am allowed to be here.”

“Yes, but I told you it was a bad weekend.”

“You gave the lamest excuse ever like you ever cancel shit for studying especially on the weekend.”

“Are you mad at me right now?”

“That depends. Did you cheat on me?”

Keith snorts loudly.

“Lance, Jesus. I am borderline afraid I am turning straight I have so little interest in other men right now.”

They both make a face.

“That came out weird, but no, you are literally the only one I want.”

“Then why are you pulling away from me?”

Keith looks away and doesn’t answer.

“Like, no asshole, you don’t get to actually make me love you and then pull this shit.”

 “I’m just having a rough time right now.”

“And that is ok, but talk to me about it. Don’t act like nothing is wrong and then spend all weekend cuddling a pillow instead of me.”

“Wait, did you just say you love me?”

“No.”

Lance pulls out his bag.

“Your room is depressing as shit anyway. You don’t even have like…a cool poster. So I brought some stuff for you.”

Keith’s room is lame. Lance had never liked how dull and lifeless it is with bare walls and plain bedding. He will work on bedding and finer touches later, but his shopping earlier mainly revolved around getting some stuff to liven Keith’s room up. He pulls out some posters, hanging them on Keith’s walls while he watches. One is a RHCP poster who Keith claims is his favorite band. Another is some sort of artistic diagram of the layers of the Earth. Another is a solar system.  

As he puts them up, he wonders if he and Keith are having a fight and if what he is doing now is weird.

Then he pulls out his other presents-one is a picture of just Lance smiling at the camera while doing a peace sign. It is a selfie he took a while back that Keith really likes. He had it printed and framed with a corny heart frame.

Then, he has the picture that they took on their first real date, the one taken outside the park. He puts this one in a more tasteful simple silver frame. He places them both on the nightstand next to Keith’s bed, straightening them before finally daring to look at Keith.

“There, now it feels more homey, right?”

He smiles at Keith, but stops short when he actually looks at his face. Keith’s face looks like he is in physical pain. It is a face that Lance recognizes in other people, but not Keith. It isn’t even on the list of faces that Keith Kogane could possibly make.  

“Do you not want this? I can take them back if you want…” Lance suddenly feels awkward.  

Then, Lance stares in horror as he sees one and then two, and then a steady stream of tears falling from Keith’s eyes. He has never seen Keith cry, never. Not when he fell off bikes. Not when he was injured during football. Not when he fought with people, verbally or physically. Not when he watched Marley and Me. Not when he told them that his Grandpa had died. He didn’t even think it was possible. Tears actually coming from his face. Sniffles. He is a bit of an ugly crier and if Lance wasn’t currently having a crisis he would have teased him for this.  

Lance remains frozen in place for just a moment too long, enough for it to be awkward, enough for Keith to turn away from him. Then he knows what he needs to do. _This is Keith_ , he tells himself. _This is your Keith._

He walks over, gently turning Keith back around, and then wraps his arms around him tightly. Keith is stiff as a board for a few moments before relaxing into it. He rubs his back, letting Keith cry against his chest, telling him that it would be ok.

Keith eventually seems to calm down.

He still has his face against Lance’s shirt when Lance hears him mutter something into it.

“What? I can’t hear you.”

“What am I if my parents don’t love me?”

Lance takes a deep breath.

“A person who is worthy of love and respect and acceptance.”

Keith groans, moving a little away from Lance so they are still hugging, but Lance can see his face now.

“Seriously Keith, you can’t pick your family. It doesn’t define who you are as a person.”

“But doesn’t it?”

“No.”

“I love my parents.”

Lance feels something rip at his chest and he wishes he could take this pain away.

“I know you do and it sucks. There really isn’t an easy answer here. But you do have people who love and accept you and we are here for you.”

“You bring so much more to this relationship than I do.”

Lance is confused at the sudden turn in the conversation.  

“What?”

“It’s true. You are smart and have a big loving family and I don’t think you hate yourself.”

“It isn’t like that. It isn’t like relationships are some kind of competition or tally sheet.”

“But…”

“No buts about this. Plus, it isn’t like you are that stupid.”

Keith glares at him.

“Plus, you can have my family. They already informally adopted you basically.”

“Wouldn’t that make this incest?”

“Don’t make it gross, Keith.”

“Wouldn’t it be weird if one day they did become my family?”

Lance leaves the ambiguous statement alone, wondering if Keith had considered who would be his best man (woman?) as well.

“I also don’t want you to hate yourself anymore. I know I can’t order you to do that, but you need to give yourself a break. You made mistakes, but you had your reasons and not all of them were your fault. You are a better person now, aren’t you?”

“I’m trying. Sometimes I still think you deserve better than me.”

Lance brings his hands to Keith’s face, gently wiping some of the remaining dampness from his cheeks.  

 “Keith, listen. You make me happy and that is all that matters.”

“Really?” Keith looks directly at Lance with a facial expression that may be even more vulnerable than his crying before.

“Yes, really. You make me really, really happy.”

Keith tightens his hold, leaning his head forward until his forehead is resting on Lance’s.

They sit for a moment like this, just holding each other, just listening to each other breathing.

“I love you,” Keith finally breaks the silence.

“I love you too.”

They are the easiest words in the world to say.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really enjoyed writing the I love you scene. 
> 
> Also, next chapter, the magic moment finally happens (and I am not talking about sex when I say that :p )


	19. Desire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The magic moment has arrived-Lance finally dresses up for Keith.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See note at the end of the chapter for why this took so long. More importantly, here is what Lance is wearing :p I actually had to go with a Plan B because my original pictures were a bit...uh, revealing. I wasn't sure about A03 rules about that? Anyway, so here is what Lance is wearing.
> 
> Top  
> https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00QQ45FWW/ref=twister_B00QQ45E1O  
> Underwear, garter belt, and stockings  
> http://www.lagentbyap.com/vanesa-suspender-black
> 
> I also updated Keith's Parasol (Chapter 3 out of 4)

“So, I think we need to talk on the way there. Get everything out in the open.”

Lance takes a deep breath and looks over at Keith who is in the driver’s seat of the car. They had officially reached the “getting away for a weekend” part of their relationship. Lance had been talking about an area his family used to go every once in a while just for the weekend when they couldn’t swing going to a beach. It was a pretty, mountainous area with tons of choices for cabins or other camping areas. Keith had gotten excited about it and booked a cabin that night.

It is their first vacation together and Lance can feel in his bones that “first vacation” would not be the only first happening this weekend.

“Ok,” Keith says cautiously, casually passing a slower driver on the left.

Lance reaches inside his bag and pulls out a stack of printed papers.

“I’m assuming we are going to have sex.”

Keith stills for a moment before nodding. “I was planning on it, yes.”

“I want to talk things out first.”

“That is fine. We don’t have to have sex if you aren’t ready anyway. I am fine where we are at the moment.”

Lance starts flipping through his papers without answering.  

“What is that?” Keith tries to look over at what Lance is holding.  

“Research.”

“Research…about sex?”

“Yes. How to…prepare, best positions, things to do, things not to do.”

“Wow.”

“This is what I do, Keith. I prepare when I am nervous.”

“I mean, I researched too before my first time. I just didn’t print it out and show it to my partner beforehand.”

Lance fiddles with the paper for a moment before allowing curiosity to take over. “Your first…who was he?”

Keith is quiet for a few moments.

“He was an older guy I met at a bar. We sort of dated for a few weeks. I mean, I guess it’s dumb, and he turned out to be married…”

“Ouch,” Lance says.

“I know, right? But I didn’t know it at the time and we did go on actual dates and I loved him. Or thought I did.”

“Thanks for telling me.”

“What about you?”

“I haven’t had sex. Just a few dates here or there, a few hand jobs.”

“Yeah, but why not?”

“Why haven’t I had sex?”

“Yes.”

“You can’t just ask someone why they’re a virgin.”

“I mean, I am curious. Everything gay or bi within a 100 mile range was probably after you.”

“I am not that good looking.”

“Yes, yes you are. I do not believe that no one pursued you.”

“I don’t know. I mean, I am actually at college to get a degree so I didn’t do a lot of partying. I studied a lot. I still do. I didn’t really actively seek out dating. A lot of my friends in the major happen to be straight. It just never happened.”

Keith nods.

“I also think I am the type of person that wanted to save it for someone special. I wanted to love someone first.”

“Gross, you love me then?”

“Shut up,” Lance punctuates his words by punching Keith in the arm.

“Are you…upset or disappointed that I didn’t save myself for…you? For love?”

“No. We all have different journeys.”

Keith nods.

“And thanks for getting tested,” Lance says.  

Keith laughs. Lance had awkwardly broached the subject a few weeks ago. Keith’s university provided free STD testing for students. It isn’t an unreasonable request and everything came up clean.

“So…” Keith starts. “What does your research say?”

“First, that foreplay and preparation start earlier than the time you actually have sex. So, I have…prepared a bit already. And, the foreplay has already started.”

“It has?” Keith asks.

At this, Lance lifts up his shirt just a bit and pulls his pants lower on his hips just an inch or two. In doing so, Keith catches a glimpse of something black and lacey.

“Fuck,” Keith says, jerking the steering wheel.

“KEITH,” Lance screams as they veer into the shoulder of the street.

Keith jerks the car straight before looking at Lance again.

“Look at the road Keith you are literally going to kill us!!!” Lance screeches.

Keith finally regains control, looking out at the road, taking deep breaths.

“Ok, we are stopping at a hotel. I can’t make it two more hours until we get to the cabin.”

“Nope. Cabin. And you are going to be patient.”

“You like torturing me, don’t you?”

“Yes.”

“Oh man, I can’t wait to have you screaming my name tonight.”

 

*********

 

The next few hours passed quickly and Lance finds himself awkwardly sitting on the edge of the cabin bed that night, kissing Keith. Which, is one of his favorite activities, but the huge bottle of lube Keith had placed on the nightstand reminds him that they wouldn’t just be kissing tonight. Lance pushes Keith away.

“I’m…going to go to the bathroom.”

Keith looks mildly concerned as Lance basically runs to the bathroom.

Once inside the bathroom, he quickly peels off his jeans and shirt, exposing the lingerie hidden underneath. He had spent a lot of time shopping for the perfect look. The black lacey bra top and lace panty with garter and stockings look amazing on him. And, he knows it. It accentuates everything he loves about his body, following all the curves he loves. He loves how it feels on him too, the material rubbing against his skin. He feels sexy and pretty. It isn’t self-consciousness or doubt that makes him hide in the bathroom. It is just that he has never shown anyone else his body dressed like this. He paces for a few moments, wondering if he should put his clothes back on and let Keith undress him or if he should just walk out and present himself.

He tries to remember that this is Keith who acts like everything he does is perfect, who will sit and listen to him ramble for hours without complaint, who seems to cherish every inch of him. _It will be fine_ , he tells himself before taking a deep breath, and stepping outside of the bathroom.

In his head, he wants to be sexy. He imagines slinking out of the bathroom with bedroom eyes and wrapping himself around Keith. Maybe even a lap dance. In reality, he freezes when he sees Keith staring at him and finds himself doing jazz hands and saying “Ta da!” instead.  

Keith doesn’t seem to mind, gazing at him adoringly before standing up.

“I am going to tear your ass to pieces,” He says.  

“Keith, that isn’t sexy!”

“Sorry, let me try again.” Keith walks a few steps toward him. “You are literally the most beautiful man I have ever seen.”

He crosses the room and kneels before Lance, pressing a gentle kiss just above his pelvic bone.

“I will never get enough of you.”

Then he stands and picks Lance up. He gently supports his back and nuzzles at his neck. Lance feels giddy, wrapping his legs around Keith’s hips and kissing his forehead.   

He carries Lance over to the bed and lays him down on his back, pausing to stare at Lance splayed across the sheets. Keith’s gaze is intense and Lance feels his stomach knotting up again.

“I mean, the most beautiful man? You have seen Shiro…or that British Douche from the party.” Lance finds his mouth moving without being able to stop it.  

“Neither of them even come close.”

Keith leans down, pulling up one of Lance’s legs and kissing the top of his foot.

Lance looks down and sees the reverent look on Keith’s face as he kisses him and feels dizzy. He is nervous and when he is nervous he talks.

“I mean, there are a lot of guys that are hot out there though, like just as hot as or hotter than me. John Boyega? David Beckham? Oscar Isaac? I think I would look better in lingerie than those guys though.”

Keith had started kissing up his leg now, gently running his hands over Lance’s legs, covered in the sheer material. It feels indescribably good, everything that Lance had ever fantasized about.

“I mean, not that there are rules for who can wear lingerie, but I feel like really buff people have different angles that lingerie doesn’t always flatter. Like, it is hard enough to find something that flatters my body because brands assume anyone buying lingerie is petite, which I am, but mostly for a guy, like not petite in the general sense. Girls usually have narrower shoulders and bone structures. I am also really tall and don’t have boobs, which makes certain brands look bad. There are some brands that cater to men, but some of them assume I will be more buff or bigger because I am a man so they are too big or don’t fit right. But yeah, those guys are beautiful, but I think I have them beat in some ways.”

Keith gently spreads his legs and begins kissing up his inner thigh. Lance shudders at the sensation.  

“You probably want me to shut up, don’t you?”

“Honestly, I think your voice is sexy no matter what you are saying. But, I hope that soon you will be making different types of noises.”

Keith licks his dick here through the lace of the underwear. Lance gasps, the sensation being both strange and intense.

He continues licking, Lance unable to stop whimpers from emerging from his throat.

“See,” Keith says a moment later. “That is better.”

He climbs on top of Lance now, slowly grinding his hips into him, nipping at his neck again.

“You are beautiful, you are perfect, I can’t believe you are even letting me touch you,” he murmurs into Lance’s neck.  

Lance is fully flustered now, blushing, overwhelmed by the words and Keith touching him and the fact that this is real and he wants it so much. He loves feeling Keith on top of him.  

Keith finally pulls away, discarding his own clothes in record time before leaning back down to begin undoing the garter belt. It would be the sexiest thing in the world if he could actually pull it off. But, he fumbles and Lance can’t help but giggle nervously at Keith’s frustrated face as he pulls at the straps. 

“Here, let me help,” Lance says, reaching down. In the process of pulling the underwear down, he accidentally elbows Keith in the face.

He can’t stop himself now, laughing outright, clamping a hand over his mouth in an attempt to avoid pissing Keith off or ruining the moment. Keith is smiling too as he continues to pull the underwear off, making Lance nude except for the top. Keith returns to Lance’s mouth, kissing him and swallowing his giggles.

“I’m sorry I am ruining the mood,” Lance says breathlessly when Keith pulls back for a moment.  

“You aren’t ruining anything. This isn’t a movie, we are allowed to laugh during sex.”

Keith begins pressing soft, rapid-fire kisses over his face. Lance feels better now, more relaxed as Keith reaches for the lube.  

Lance watches as he lubes up a finger. His face screws up in confusion when he reaches down to finger him though and finds silicone resistance.  

Lance groans to himself. “Uh yeah, one of the sites I visited said that I should wear a butt plug before having sex.” Lance is sure he cannot get any redder, half wishing he had just taken it out in the bathroom.

Keith closes his eyes for long enough that Lance thinks he has done something wrong.

“So you had it in you the entire trip up here?” Keith finally speaks. “Jesus…I might come in my underwear right now.”

Lance smirks. He lifts his foot and kicks Keith lightly on the shoulder. “Come on, hurry up, didn’t you say I would be screaming your name tonight?”

Keith looks at him with half-lidded eyes before reaching down and pulling the plug out, twisting it just a little as he does and grinning as Lance squirms with pleasure.

Lance sighs and leans back, closing his eyes as Keith prepares him. _Relaxation_ , his research had told him. _Relaxation and trust are key._

“Ok,” Keith says, sounding out of breath. They shift positions here, Keith sitting against the headboard with Lance crawling into his lap. It was a position Keith (and the internet) had suggested since it gives Lance more control.

   
“Ok,” Keith repeats. “Tell me if it hurts or if we need to stop.”

Lance nods and begins lowering himself down. It seems to take forever and no time at all before he can’t go any further. Keith has his head lowered onto his chest, eyes closed, panting gently.

They sit for a few moments just holding each other and Lance is hit with a rush of emotions. He noses at Keith’s head, eventually finding his lips and kissing him deeply. Keith has his arms around him, squeezing tightly. Lance feels safe in his arms.  

Things flow naturally from this point. Lance wants the moment to last forever, just being connected like this with the person he loves. He sucks hickies on Keith’s neck, tries to memorize Keith’s moans, chases sweat dripping down his face.

He looks in Keith’s eyes, marveling at the facial expression that is simultaneously soft and sensual.

Neither last terribly long.

Lance tells himself afterward that sex isn’t that big of a deal and it isn’t really, but he feels raw afterward, exposed. It felt so good to be connected to Keith in that way. He feels a rush of emotions bubbling inside of him, making him stare tenderly at the bathroom door where Keith is currently getting ready for bed. He grabs his phone.

 **Message Sent:** Pidge! Guess what I just lost!!!!!

 **Message Received:** Oh my god

 **Message Sent:** Wrong answer!

 **Message Received:** I honestly can’t believe you guys waited this long tbh

 **Message Sent:** I honestly can’t believe I lost my virginity to Keith Kogane. Like, ew gross. I want to spend the rest of my life with him btw.

 **Message Received:** …

And he does. He can’t imagine anyone ever complementing him like Keith does.

Keith finally comes back and collapses onto the bed, dragging Lance close to him with one arm and closing his eyes. He knows Keith wants to pass out, but he can’t help wanting to talk more.

“Tell me you love me.”

“You know I love you.”

“Tell me more.”

“I’m in love with you. I will worship you as long as I live if you will let me.” Keith kisses the top of his head, pulling him closer.

They both fall asleep wondering who has whom wrapped around the other’s finger. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this took me a long time and it is partially because I have been busy in real life, but it is also partially because my god this fandom has been trying lately. Like, holy crap I can't even go into the Klance or Voltron tags on tumblr. Like, this is supposed to be fun, liking something, not something that is causing people to scream at each other or send death threats? It just left me less motivated to work on this and then I realized that that is silly. So, I cleaned out my tumblr, deleted a bunch of people, added people from a list of "drama free" Voltron blogs, and started using Tumblr Savior to block certain tags. 
> 
> Also, I AM GOING TO LOVE LOTOR AND NONE OF YOU CAN STOP ME!!!!! HIS VOICE OMG. 
> 
> I am also working on my next 75K+ word Klance fic that I will start up after this one is done so I guess I can't escape, ever. I just need to avoid certain areas of tumblr lol. 
> 
> Anyway, one more chapter of Parasol, one more of Keith's Parasol, and there is a smut chapter coming that will be posted under Extras that is way more graphic than what happened in this chapter.


	20. Joy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The conclusion-Keith and Lance being THAT couple

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, you guys. I seriously can't believe that a year ago I thought I would never write again and now I basically wrote a book about Klance and lingerie. I have had so much fun working on this and thank you to literally everyone who has done anything-hits, kudos, and especially comments. There are several of you whose comments literally kept me writing this when I was struggling. I could have never imagined the kind feedback and interest people have shown in Parasol. 
> 
> I have started a new fic if you want to check it out. It is a bit different from this, but if you like drama and Klance it may be for you. I have linked it here-  
> [Scared and Aroused](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10876647/chapters/24164754)  
> Look at end notes for pic references :)

 

“Do you know that time in a relationship when the honeymoon period is over? When you stop holding hands all the time and stop kissing all the time. It doesn’t mean that you aren’t in love anymore. It is just a different kind of love, you know? It is more about thinking about bills and the future than making out all the time. The butterflies are gone and it is more about just being comfortable together or whatever.”

“Yes?” Lance responds.  

“When are you two going to get to that point? Like please God can it happen soon?” Pidge rolls her eyes.

They are sitting in the lobby of the library waiting for Hunk to get back from the bathroom. There were only two seats available so Keith said he would just stand, but Lance had tugged him down into his lap. He had taken advantage of his position, tickling Keith’s sides and nuzzling his neck while Pidge played on her phone, shooting occasional disgusted looks in their direction.

“Never. That is never going to happen to us,” Keith answers Pidge without hesitation.

“Nope, this is your life now,” Lance adds.

“You know, we are in a crowded place…”

“Let them look.” Lance shrugs.

“It’s not like we are doing anything illegal,” Keith says, leaning back to kiss Lance’s cheek. Lance nuzzles him and then turns Keith’s face further to kiss his lips.  

Pidge takes a deep breath, closing her eyes for a moment.

They had lasted for over a year now and sometimes Lance can’t believe it. He has to be somewhat sympathetic to Pidge though. They are a touchy feely couple, always holding hands, kissing, standing close. He would have never guessed that Keith would be so damned cuddly. He loves it though. Lance is like a cat who doesn’t mind rubbing against his human all day long.

Despite Pidge’s silent and sometimes not so silent judgment for their touching and kissing habits, she had slowly grown closer to Keith. Nyma and Pidge had become surprisingly close and it was not uncommon for the four of them to hang out together.

Keith had been a good sport about Pidge occasionally releasing some aggression toward him until, eventually, her teasing turned into something that felt friendly.

She had also softened considerably when heard all the details about Keith’s parents. Keith is a private person and Lance is proud of him for opening up though he guesses it is partially because Keith views Pidge as someone he has to have on his side if the relationship will work.

While Pidge’s own parents are amazing, some of her extended family are not so she understands what Keith is going through. She even helped plan a surprise party for Keith near his birthday when he wasn’t currently talking to his parents.  

It also helps that Keith is, by all metrics, a surprisingly caring boyfriend and Lance is wildly in love with him. Pidge supports Lance and knows that, at some point, supporting Lance means supporting Keith.  

Graduation is looming for Lance and Pidge. Keith would likely need another year, so he is significantly less busy at this time. Lance sometimes has nightmares about failing one class and not graduating, triggering him to study so much that he feels he might have a shot at acing all of his exams rather than just passing.  

Hunk, Rolo, Pidge, and Lance basically live in the library during this time with Keith joining them on the weekends just to act as moral support. Moral support didn’t just mean Keith playing on his phone while they did work. He takes being a supportive friend very seriously. Every few hours, he takes coffee orders and stands in the long line himself while everyone else keeps working.  He brings them pizza or fast food depending on what everyone wants. He rubs Lance’s shoulders, runs through flash cards with Hunk, goes to the stacks to get books for Pidge, and humors Rolo when he wants to look at memes on his phone and take a break. Lance feels himself falling even more in love, knowing, of course, that he will return the favor for Keith when the time comes.

It is also the only time, ever, that Keith refuses Lance’s advances. Lance didn’t even think it was possible.  

“Come on Keith, just a quickie.”

“You have to get up at 7 tomorrow.”

“But sex will make me tired.”

“If you are horny I can just suck you off real quick. Sex takes too long. You need to sleep.”

Lance moans and sprawls himself across the bed. They had just gotten back from the library and dropping Pidge off. He is feeling a bit turned on. All work and no play makes Lance a dull boy. He is far enough into the relationship to understand that Keith means business when he uses his serious tone though.  He would not give in. Lance had to beg him to even spend the night. Keith only agreed because Lance said he could make sure he wakes up in the morning.

“During your next finals week I am going to deny you sex too.”

“Fine. If I am about to stay up all night having sex instead of resting, then fine. I am not denying you sex anyway though. It just isn’t a good idea right now. It is close to midnight and you have to get up early. You need to sleep.”

Lance pouts, trying to look as cute as possible.

“Think of my dick as the prize you get at the end of the road when you finish your exams.”

Lance lays back, closing his eyes and groaning. He can feel Keith still standing by the bed, hands on his hips.

A moment passes before he feels Keith crawl in bed with him and start kissing down his chest.

Lance closes his eyes, putting his hand on Keith’s head. He is asleep less than 15 minutes later, wondering how he got so lucky.  

  
*********

“Are you nervous? You are shaking a little bit,” Keith says to Lance, moving a bit closer to him.

“Yes, what if it hurts?”

“Aw, babe. I will hold your hand through it.”

Lance links arms with Keith, leaning on him a bit, and they enter the brightly colored shop in front of them.

They are committing the sin that everyone told them they were stupid to consider. The bad luck omen for relationships. The one that everyone in their lives openly judged them for doing.  

A couple’s tattoo.

 _Of course_ , Lance rationalizes, _they are not really getting couple’s tattoos because they aren’t matching._ _It only counts if it matches exactly,_ Lance tells himself.

They decided to choose and help design their own tattoos separately from one another, but with the same tattoo artist. Lance thought it would be cool to make it a surprise for each other on the day they get the tattoos.  They had chosen a space or universe theme, thinking that a similarly themed tattoo would be less corny than getting an actual matching tattoo. They had also debated where to get the tattoos on their bodies. They finally decided on their backs, between their shoulder blades, a bit below their necks. It is a joint decision made considering their body types, how easy it would be to hide from employers, and the general outlines of the tattoo designs.

A few hours later, Lance is struck by two facts. One is that he officially has his first (and probably only) tattoo. His skin is permanently marked with the tattoo that reminds him of Keith. Second is the fact that Keith is a big baby when it comes to needles. Though he had supported Lance through his own tattoo, as soon as he was on the table his face had grown somehow even paler than his normal pale shade.  He is currently clutching Lance’s hand in a vicious grip, one that almost has Lance asking for mercy.

The second the needle touches him, Keith jerks and looks like he is about to puke.

“He is going to have to stay still,” the tattoo artist says.

“You don’t have to do this,” Lance tells him.  

“Yes, yes I do. This proves my love.”

“Sweetie, I already know you love me.”

“I am getting the tattoo, Lance.”

“What if you throw up…”

“I won’t. I am doing this. Back off.” He looks at the tattoo artist. “Do it. I won’t move again.”

To his credit, he doesn’t, gritting his teeth and accepting the needle’s movements.

Lance feels warm looking down at Keith’s design, the one that reminds Keith of him. The mark that would be on his body forever saying that he is Lance’s and vice versa.

Soon, Keith is done as well, black lines stark against his pale skin.

Afterward, they go out for froyo, Keith still pouting about the pain.

**********

Lance decides not to show his family immediately. He knows his mom will not be happy and Anthony will never let him live it down. So, Pidge and Nyma are the first people who get to see the new tattoos. They eagerly stand before Pidge and Nyma, both of whom seem to be trying to keep a straight face.

“Ok, so big reveal.”

They both peel off their shirts and turn around. There is a moment of silence.  

“They….they actually look kinda cool,” Pidge says.

“Yeah, I was expecting something really lame,” Nyma adds.  

“Talented tattooist right?” Keith says.  

Lance nods.

“Much more tasteful than I was expecting,” Nyma says.  

“I was sort of expecting you guys to get each other’s faces tattooed on your arms or something,” Pidge snorts.

“Oh come on, we aren’t that bad,” Lance fires back.

“So why did you choose these designs?” Nyma asks.

“Well,” Keith smiles at Lance.

“We decided to do a theme.”

“Yeah, a theme. So the theme was space and the universe.”

Keith goes first. His is a stylized compass in the shape of the North Star.

“I knew right away for mine that I had to get the North Star…”

He grips Lance’s hand here.

“because Lance is my North Star. He is the person who will always guide me in the right direction, show me where I need to go when I am lost.”

Lance ignores Pidge’s deep inhale.

Lance’s tattoo is a geometric design of the galaxy, designed to look circular. “And I got the actual universe, or galaxy, in a circle because Keith is my entire world and with him, my world is complete.”

Nyma actually looks teary eyed.

“I want to die,” Pidge mutters. Nyma punches her arm.  

“Ok, I will tease you guys for that later, but that is actually pretty damn sweet,” she mutters a second later, finally smiling.

**********

Lance frowns. He is wearing a new suit. The suit is pretty cheap, something he had to get for his new job except he is broke because he hasn’t gotten a paycheck yet. It is partially a graduation present that allows him to get it at all. It doesn’t quite feel right on him just like his job doesn’t quite feel right either. However, he is relieved to find that he can do the work and he likes the work. He had quickly received an engineering position after graduating. It is near the city so he can still see Keith all the time and his friends from college. Even though he is the youngest in the office, he seems to get along with everyone. As he adjusts his tie in the mirror, he sighs and thinks about the events of the last few months since graduation.

They had lost Pidge at the end of Summer on a humid day in August.  

Of course, even Pidge herself would roll her eyes at Lance’s dramatics. Lost just means that Pidge got into an amazing graduate program, her dream school, except for the fact that it is located far away. Lance looks it up on google maps and it is 11 hours driving, and nearly 3 by plane. He knows it isn’t that big of a deal. It is only a two year program. She wants to be near her family when she graduates and there are tons of jobs in her field in the city. They will facetime and text and visit.

But it feels like a big deal. Pidge had long stopped being just a friend and Lance considers her family. He can’t remember the last time he didn’t have Pidge by his side.  

They tearfully saw her off at the airport. Keith had come, but stayed back in the parking lot to give Lance and Pidge’s parents some privacy to say goodbye. Lance promises himself he won’t cry, but breaks that promise immediately as he hugs Pidge one last time. Even Pidge’s family gives Lance his moment. There are no words to describe what Lance feels at being separated from her. When Pidge is no longer visible, he hugs her mother. Mrs. Holt tells him she will make Pidge visit all the time and that he can come over any time he wants.

At home, Lance is moody, letting Keith hold him while he gives himself the night to feel sad.

He adjusts quickly though. He understands that this is a huge opportunity for her. She texts all the time like she promised.    

Today, she is coming back to visit. Lance just had to get through Friday in his stupid cheap suit and then he could see his friend again. They are going to hang out with Keith and Nyma tonight. Saturday morning, Pidge and Lance plan to have some time alone as friends. Then, she would see her own family the rest of Saturday through Monday.

Lance jerks at his tie as Keith screams at him from the kitchen.

“It’s getting cold, you asshole!”

Keith, who had taken to joking about Lance being his sugar daddy, enjoys making breakfast for him when he can. He said it is thanks for all the help Lance is giving him to study for the Praxis, a test to certify him to teach. Keith had decided that he wants to teach, a career choice that seems strange to Lance, but also makes sense in other ways. Over the summer, Lance had gotten to witness how ridiculously good Keith is with kids through his volunteer work. Keith is hoping to get a coaching position for younger kids, but most jobs would require that he teach as well, of course.

There is something that tickles Lance when he thinks about his grumpy bastard of a boyfriend standing in front of a classroom.  

Keith had thrown himself into this new career path with complete dedication like everything else he has done in life.  Lance is proud of him. He is managing an overload to try to make up some lost time. He already has a placement in a school for the next semester for his teaching internship and, beyond that, all he has to do is pass the Praxis to start looking for a job.

Overall, they had found a comfortable pace together in life. As Keith shovels some eggs onto his plate and scootches some of his study guides to the side to make way for his boyfriend, Lance would not have it any other way.

*********

Keith pulls Lance close, touching the galaxy tattoo on his back.

“I love you.” He says.

“I love you too.”

“Always?”

“Always and forever.”

“Forever?”

“Even when you are wrinkly and old and grosser than you are now.”

“Forever.”

Keith leans forward, kissing Lance gently, rubbing his thumb over the tattoo.

“Ok, I lied about thinking you guys are cute together. When are you going to break up?” Nyma’s voice interrupts them.  

“I think I am going to vomit,” Pidge adds.  

Keith starts to pull away, but Lance holds him close.

“You guys are just jealous,” Lance says.

Pidge makes a fake puking sound while Nyma laughs.

They bring in the board game that they had been choosing in the other room.

“Monopoly, really?”

“Fuck yeah, I’m ready to ruin some friendships tonight.” Pidge grins.  

Lance smiles at his friends, his boyfriend, knowing that nothing, not even Monopoly, would ruin what they had built.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tattoo pic references  
> #1-Lance's tattoo  
> [Lance's Tattoo](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/2c/c6/bc/2cc6bce3f5bb86bf8965d69331244d60.jpg)  
> #2-Keith's tattoo (imagine it slightly more in the style of Lance's though-I like the thin lines/geometric look)  
> [Keith's Tattoo](http://devilartstudio.com/north-star-compass-tattoo/)
> 
> Again, thanks so much for reading! You have no idea how much it means!

**Author's Note:**

> A few notes and then reference pictures  
> 1\. The bullying/slur that happen in this chapter will be addressed fully in later chapters.  
> 2\. Lance is Cuban and that comes up later, but it felt awkward trying to insert that in the first chapter. It didn't fit without me being really obvious about it?  
> 3\. I also didn't want to make it seem like the bullying that Lance received was acceptable or fine just because it never got physical. I seriously edited that part 100 times and I am unsure if it came across like how I wanted. For Lance as a character in this story, the bullying is bearable because of his exact situation and temperament. Any type of bullying is serious and should be taken seriously though. 
> 
> Ok, I am not sure what I am doing with my life, but I also have elaborate outfits planned for Lance. Like, embarrassingly elaborate. So, I will post pictures down here to illustrate what I am trying to describe, ha ha.
> 
> https://www.pinterest.com/pin/517632550894673361/  
> H&M White Twill Pants  
> https://www.pinterest.com/pin/143693044337435441/  
> Zara Floral Shirt  
> http://polish-holic.blogspot.com/2009/10/sephoras-opi-im-with-brad.html  
> I'm with Brad Nail polish (my favorite and apparently not sold anymore? :( )  
> http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Ladies-Lingerie-pretty-sheer-lace-pale-blue-lacy-body-teddy-chemise-free-P-P-/200905885961  
> The lingerie...


End file.
